moonlight : luke

always

11:16 PM

i get startled by the voice i have been thinking about just seconds ago.

"shit, you startled me!" i say, placing my hand over my heart.

"ky. i specifically told you to text one of us every hour," he sighs, "i got so damn worried."

i click the home button on my phone to see that i have 42 missed calls and 50+ text messages.

"you guys are worse than my mom." i snort.

"not funny, ky. you had us searching the whole beach again." he sighs, as he walks closer to me and takes a seat on the sand next to me.

"i'm sorry. i got too engrossed with what i was doing." i answer.

"what were you doing, anyway?" he raises an eyebrow, "what's that?" he points to the moleskine i'm grasping on.

"this? this, this is nothing!" i say a little too loudly. he looks at me and i know that he knows i'm lying.

"let me have a look." he says, trying to reach forward to get it, but i don't allow him to.

"no, luke." i say as i hold onto it the tightest i ever did.

"c'mon," he whines, "i thought i'm your best friend? no secrets, right?"

"y-yes, but, but," i know i'm turning red, "but these are like my deepest thoughts and i really keep them sacred because i know they're safe with me and if i tell them to someone else so much things could go wrong so this notebook and what's inside it is for my eyes only. i'll tell you what's in it when the time is right." i babble on.

"well, okay," he gives in, scratching the back of his neck, "i'll respect that."

it was quiet for a while.

"i really like jane," he speaks up, "i don't think i stopped liking her, really. there was always this part in my heart that's only for her."

"okay." was all i said. i don't know what to say. my heart hurts.

"i hope you don't mind me talking about this, but i know you'll listen. the other boys just make fun of me whenever i talk about jane." he chuckles, shaking his head.

"go ahead." i say softly. go ahead, rip my heart out.

"i feel like we're really made for each other, ya know? we like the same songs, whenever i do something weird, she doesn't judge me. instead, she joins me or does something weirder. she's my literal soulmate."

"she's just as weird as you." i say, staring at the ocean.

"exactly! like it's so damn fun to be with someone as silly as you. there's never a dull moment, and we always have something to talk about. whether it's about a pair of socks she bought three months ago or if it's about my great great grandmother who died at the age of 103." the whole time he says this, he's smiling.

god damn it. my heart fucking hurts.

"it's so great, too cause she said the second we arrive home, she wants me to meet her parents," he fiddles with his fingers, "i feel so lucky."

"good for you." i mumble.

"also, she loves it when i sing to her. even if it's off-key, or if i'm just screaming out the lyrics. she'd laugh and giggle and smile at me and her eyes would twinkle. i'd sing every song for her if i could."

stop. please stop. it won't stop hurting.

"she also said she wants to adopt 116 dogs. she has such a great heart and a great personality, maybe that's why i'm so drawn to her."

i chew on my bottom lip. a habit i've attained to keep me from crying.

"everything always leads back to her. if i think about dogs, she'll come to mind. if i think about high school, i'll remember her. if i think about the ocean, it's her. while i'm singing, she'll be on my mind."

"cool." i say.

"i feel so happy. the universe clearly brought together everything i love, and placed them inside jane," he chuckles, "it's crazy."

"luke, i have to tell you something." the words tumble out of my mouth.

"oh, sure," he says, "i've been talking too much anyway."

"i, uh, i've been wanting to talk to you about this for a long time, really." my fingers clutch tightly on the notebook.

"alright," he says slowly, "what is it?"

"i love you."

"that's it?" he chuckles, "you know i love you too, ky."

"n-no, it's different, luke, listen-"

"good job, luke! you found ky!" i turn around, to see jane running towards us, a smile already plastered on her face.

"u-uh, yeah," i croak out, "he found me."

"now that we know where you are, can you join me to the coconut spa, luke?" she asks.

"can it wait, baby? just a few minutes. ky was talking to me about something." he tells her.

she nods her head, but stays there.

"you know what? it wasn't really that important," i send him a smile, "it's okay, i think i'm just drunk or something. the spa closes at 12, you gotta start walking if you wanna make it."

"are you sure?" he asks, beginning to stand up.

i clear my throat, "yeah."

"alright. see ya later, ky." he says, ruffling my hair and going over to jane.

"bye." i say, thankful that he has walked away before a tear escapes my eye. and then another. then another. and before i know it, i am full on crying.

—

o SHIT 1 chapter then the epilogue whAAATT ,,,,?!?!

- au