Dear Oppa,

A Letter to Oppa

Dear SeHun-Oppa,

I love you. You love me too, but not the way I wanted to. You never knew how much I wanted to see you right now. To be there with you. To feel you. To be at your side. It hurts. Knowing that you don't even know about my existence. But I know about you. What your favorite color is, your ideal type, your favorite food, your personality. Sadly, you know nothing about me. Not even my name.

Someday, I know we will meet. Destiny will play its game and I know our destinies will cross. We are meant to be, I know. There is always a reason for everything. I know seeing your picture on that ordinary day was a fateful encounter. It's not everyday that someone catches my attention for so long.

Someday, you'll know about me. I'm going to see you. Not in pictures but the real you. Something real, not surreal. I will never let go of that thought.

When that day comes, I will never let it pass. When the time comes where I'm already a part of your life, I promise to never leave your side.

But for now, I have to wait, we have to wait patiently. There's a perfect timing for everything. You may not be able to understand what I'm trying to tell you right now but someday you will. I know you will. I believe in you. The only reason why I wanted to learn Korean was to communicate with you. Still, even if someday we will have the same language, we must still be mindful of what we say because having the opportunity to speak does not give you the privilege to be understood.

But as of this moment, I remain as one of the sea of faces beyond your world. You're still too far. I'm not Korean. I can't understand Korean yet. I'm not an idol. I'm not a model. And that dmn ocean is separating us. But someday, I'm gonna cross all those borders. We are still under the same sky, maybe not on the same ground, but still, we could never be too far.

I promised myself that I'm gonna meet you someday. God promised me too. I just have to wait. One more thing, I told myself that if ever you get a girlfriend before that chance, I'll stop fangirling over you. Don't get me wrong. I love you and I just want you to be happy. I'm not a sasaeng. I won't bash your girlfriend just because of that. I just want what's best for you.

I also promised myself that you are the FIRST and LAST Korean idol that I will ever love and EXO will be the first and last kpop group that I will ever support. So please, wait for me. I love you and I always will. FOREVER.

I know that someday we will meet. IN GOD'S PERFECT TIME ♥

There will always be hope for each new day and certainly there's a lot of chance.

But just in case I might be wrong and today is all I get, I'd like to say thank you and I love you, please don't forget. Just because I'm always loyal to you doesn't mean I don't want to be loved. In case that day comes where another man would make me feel the same way you did for me, please forgive me. Forgive me for I might choose him. You will always have that special place in my heart. Thank you for teaching me the real meaning of friendship. I had found my real friends because of you. And THANK YOU. For teaching me that love doesn't need borders nor timeframes.

I know that there will come a time that I will have to unstan you one day but always remember, unstanning you is never the same as unloving you.

XOXO,

Gizelle ♥