Dear Oppa,

An Open Letter for Bias

Note:

Originally for Oh Sehun. Pero since hindi naman tayo pare-pareho ng bias, ginawa ko na lang na general. Enjoy po :)

-Jihwanxxi

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Dear bias,

As much as I don’t want to let go of you, I’m willing to give it a try.

 You dream of others while I dream of you. I cry for you while you only cry for yourself but I can’t blame you, I only belong to the sea of faces beyond your world. Someone non-existent, someone who gives you countless of loveletters even though I’m aware that you won’t be able to read it nor would you understand any of it. I’m just that someone who is willing to spend loads of money just to see you for a few hours. Someone who is willing to spend lots of time learning your language and culture just to be able to communicate with you. You don’t know me, but I know you. I scream your name, you don’t know mine. I know almost everything about you, your name, your favorite color, your birthday and everything else. I smile when you smile. My wallpaper? It’s you. My laptop? It has countless pictures of you. I get jealous when I see you with someone else but who am I? You don’t even know me. I want to protect you and keep you all to myself but that would be selfish, there are still millions of fangirls out there who feels the same way as I do and I’m not exaggerating when I say it hurts. Besides, how can I protect something I still can’t call mine? It saddens me to think that this pattern might go on and on unceasingly.

I’ll always be watching you until I’m strong enough to let you go. I’ll love you for as long as I could though it hurts to love you sometimes. You give me equal amount of pain just as much happiness you bring. You made me do the things I never imagined doing. You gave color to my life. It’s amazing what love can do to you. But I want to be free too. For in time, you’ll be able to find your eternity and I want to find mine as well. I want to find someone who’ll love me back. I guess it’s my fault that I fell in love with someone I can’t have. Someone who doesn’t even know me.

I didn’t want all of this to happen, trust me. I didn’t want to fall in love with you but my heart doesn’t ask for permission. Reality bites when you least expect it.

All I want is for me to see you personally someday. Just that. Nothing more, nothing less because someday, I’ll meet the man of my dreams while I’m awake. I’m not regretting anything. Thank you for entering my life. Thank you for teaching me new things. Thank you for being my strength when I felt like I’m losing everything. Thank you for teaching me the real value of love. Thank you for giving me the friends I’ll keep for life. And thank you-for once, BEING MY EVERYTHING.

Sincerely,

Your fan

P.S.

But who knows? The ordinary fan who watched you from afar might be the eternity you’ve been looking for. Every pawn is a potential queen. The future has no guarantee. Nobody knows what it will bring. Destiny might play its game. What’s meant to happen will find its way to happen. Great things come to those who wait. We never know, the time might come for your turn to do the same things I once did for you. And for that, I’ll keep dreaming