Untamed Hearts

30:- Addiction & Alphas

30. Addiction & Alphas

Angelo Tallerico

   I could not walk away, that one was certified. I thought back to yesterday morning, at the school parking lot and shuddered to think what would have happened if I delayed even a nanosecond. Madison would be gone and I would probably have found a way to kill myself by now. Yeah, it was that bad. I was guilty of as lot of things, but I was unwilling to add Madison's demise on my conscience. Sometimes, I wondered if the universe had it in for that girl. Imagine her luck, having a seriously unstable gangster fall for you and then nearly being obliterated by a fire red truck driven by a stoned maggot.

           

As if that was not enough, she had demanded what I wasn't even sure of. I didn't know how much more I could take before I finally ran crazy, not that I wasn't already crazy, but then it would just be official and out in the open for everyone to see. I wondered why I had lingered at the hospital, and allowed her o work her way back in, what with her piercing blue eyes that and could kill a man, infuriating yet endearing person- wait, what am I saying? Yeah, I was running mental.

           

  I had told her I could not walk away, and it was so true. Why; because I was a Godforsaken idiot. It was an addiction, of the strongest and most self destructive. I wanted her with every fiber of my being and I couldn't help it. I loved the heady feeling that came from seeing her face, I was stuck between my fantasies and what was real. I needed it all the time, I wanted her all the time, and I kept telling myself I would stop everyday knowing well that I wouldn't. I had a problem and I had no solution, but even if I did, I knew I wouldn't quit.  I knew this much was true; Madison Shepherd had become my addiction. I was riding high on her, but suffice to say, I liked it. I was consumed with her thought every second; my only concern was the next time I could get my next fix. I couldn't get anything else done. I knew I should stop, just stay away because it was not going to help me, it was only going to hurt more because I could never be with her. I tried, and tried, but my obsession just wouldn't let me be, because she was just the sweetest drug. Maybe I was just doomed to love her forever from afar.  Like a junkie, my day of reckoning was coming and it would not be pretty.

    I had avoided school today because I could not just be around her anymore for fear I would do something drastic. Unfortunately for me, the news had been carried around and as I sat in a bar staring at my glass of Armagnac, the rerun played on TV much to my displeasure where a perky reporter was in front of the school, next to Madison and Taylor's totaled cars.

"Tallerico, ain't that your school?" Damien asked sliding into the seat next to me. "Wow," he whistled when he saw the cars, "that could have gone horribly wrong. You know what happened?'

I shook my head and said dismissively, "just a bunch of old bullshit. Drop it." I downed my drink. He watched me and I snapped, "What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged and said, "I just thought you'd be back home getting your high from my sister and not booze."

"I need some space," I muttered.

"Yeah? Is this about that girl, Jackson's daughter?"

I slammed my glass on the bar, "Damien, would you just leave it alone? Jesus Christ!"