Skulduggery Pleasant fan-fic: The Cradle of Magic (UNDER EDIT)

'You're wearing a towel'

-Sarc
My head hurt. I had somehow ended up on the floor next to an empty packet of Walkers crisps and had developed a splitting headache; I then noticed the empty wine bottle, toppled on its side on the table near the sofa. I sighed and made an attempt to get up, but my legs were shaky and limp. I turned and kicked something. Fletcher groaned. I slumped onto the table, my head spun uncontrollably and I felt dizzy. I noted Bliv asleep on Dex's torso with his arm around her, both taking up the majority of the sofa. They both looked very peaceful. Too peaceful. My top shirt buttons were undone and I smelt of stale sweat, my trousers had a red wine stain on them. Vex had a lipstick stain on his chin and Fletch was still prepped up in eyeliner and mascara from last night which now ran down his face. I put my hand in some Dorito crumbs and tried to get up.
After around five minutes I warily made it to the kitchen side and splashed my face with freezing tap water. Everybody else was out cold. I glanced at the radio clock; I thought it read 7:49 but all of the numbers jumped about and buts of them dissapated. I decided to have a shower because of the state I was in and assumed Bliv wouldn't mind; so I regained balance and locked the bathroom door behind me.

-Bliv
A movement from nearby woke me, and I realised I had fallen asleep on Vex. He was still asleep; the casual rise and fall of his chest demonstrating this. I stretched and he moaned; his eyes flickering open.
"Sorry..." I mumbled.
"It's OK..." He said, yawned and pulled me in tighter.
"What time is it?" He inquired pulling himself up into a sitting position.
"Who cares?" I said and snuggled back into his top, closing my eyes.
Some time passed. An annoying thought then came to me.
"It it Friday?" I asked.
"Ummhmm" he muttered.
"I've got a meeting. Dammit." I flung my legs over the side of the sofa.
He opened his eyes "Oh Hell so have I..."
We both got up and I flicked the switch on the kettle, Vex buttoned up his top in the mirror of the TV. He paused and looked around.
"Where's Sarc?"
I turned from making the tea and popped my head around to see that only Fletcher lay on the living room floor. Fletch turned.
"Wha?" He mumbled.
I threw a confused face at Vex, " I dunno..."
The bathroom door then opened.
I turned and gawped.
"Oh so you're awake then..." Sarc said ruffling the water out of his dark hair.
Fletcher got up. "Oh..."
"Sarc I think Bliv would appreciate it if you would put a top on..."
Saracen was wearing a towel around his waist with his full pack of six pack on view. Oh Wow.
I blushed and Sarc smirked "Er I'm Ok..." I mumbled.
"Do you by any chance have any clothes I could borrow? I've got this meeting thingy today and I need to look smart..."
Fletch chuckled "Why would Bliv have men's clothes?"
"I dunno she might of..." He broke off
"I'll go get some" and Fletch teleported.
Sarc walked over to the kitchen "Are you making tea?" And he casually poured himself a cup and sat down. I glanced back a Dex who shrugged and accepted his tea.
Men. Fit but utterly bizarre.
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Hey guyz!!! Hope u found that funny!
Thnx again 4 all ur support in reading this and if u want me to add anything or improve pm me with ur ideas!!!
Luv Bliv x