Skulduggery Pleasant fan-fic: The Cradle of Magic (UNDER EDIT)

Star Wars...

-Gracious

I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled my grey Star Wars top over my head, fighting a yawn. I sat there for a minute, looking into space... Then picked up a lazy deodorant can and sprayed it over my body. The whirring sound of the Tardis echoed from the other room signified that the phone was ringing. I jogged into the other room and swiped up the phone,
"Hullo?"
"It's me..."
"I'm sorry, who?"
"It's ME."
"Me?" I subconsciously pointed to myself.
"No. Me..."
"What?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!?"
"It's me, Donegan..."
"Ohhhhhh... Donegan!" I sighed, "Why didn't you tell me it was you?!"
"Gracious I did tell you it was me..."
"Well you didn't say it was you, you just kept saying 'I'm me'..."
"But I AM me..."
"But you didn't say you were you, if you had said you were you instead of 'I'm me' I would have known that you were you, you just kept saying you were me!"
"And thus ends another meeting of the pronoun club..." Another Irish accent finished.
"Wha? Who's that?!" I asked.
"It's me.. Dex.."
"Ohhh... Hi Dex! What are you doing at Donegan's?"
"This is a joint call Gracious, I'm hacking your system so I can talk to both if you..."
"Why not just Skype? I mean that would... Okay..."
Donegan sighed deeply, "Mr Vex, you have both if our attention; do ask away..."
Vex cleared his throat, "Righto.... I'm actually conveying a message from his highness, so I'll do an impression."
"Fire away buddy."
"Hmm.. I'll just the email up... Oh yeah here we go," he coughed "ahem, Dear Mr Vex"
"Pah."
"As mentioned in our meeting earlier this week I am very glad that you have dropped by your busy life to assist me in this time of need. Thank you greatly for your letter of report concerning the opinions of the individual Sanctuaries, I am aware it took quite a bit of effort. Anyway, as you have discovered we don't have many allies from abroad in this dire time, ergo..."
I interrupted with a snort, "Did he seriously just use 'ergo' in an email?!"
Dex went on, a chuckle lingering in his voice, "We will need other assistance. I would be very much obliged if you would come into contact with our friends Mr Bane and Mr O'Callahan to ask for their assistance, I have sent a letter to the Necromancers to ask if they would kindly help us as well. Thank you once again dear friend. Grand Mage Ravel.... Smiley face."
"Lol."
"So," Donegan mumbled, "It's rather self explanatory, you want our help."
"I do... Well Ravel does..."
"Hmm.. Shall we help them Donegan?"
"Well, I dunno I'll have to check my sched... Hell yeah..."
"Cool thanks guys, I'll get Ravel to send you some plane tickets or whatever."
"Cool..." Donegan and I both said.
I was about to put the phone down when Dex asked,
"Er, actually guys is it okay if I ask some personal advice?"
"Fire away." I replied, sitting myself up on the kitchen table.
"Well," he sighed "there's this girl."
"Ooohhh..."
"Oh shut up, anyway I erm, I really like her and I asked her out but, I erm don't really know where to take her or what to do an' yeah."
"Okay, what kind of girl is she? Like a girly girl?... Wait no, let me guess... Hmmm... I'm gonna guess she's smart, pretty... Would have to be funny, has a few faults, adorably polite and erm..."
I butted in, "and likes Star Wars"
I could hear Dex clapping, "love experts... Maybe you should think of taking up a different profession..."
"Who's her favourite Star Wars character?" I asked keenly,
"R2D2, she's a girl all Star Wars fan girls love cute, adorable robots."
"I'd say take her to a restaurant, then watch a movie back at yours... Preferably Star Wars.."
"Oh. M'kay, thanks guys that's a big help."
"Anytime Dude!" And I sniggered before putting the phone down, and resorting to find the left over bourbons in the cupboard.

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Hello All!! Firstly.. *sniffles* I would like to apologise..
IM SORRY I DIDNT UPDATE FRIDAY!!! I COULDN'T HELP IT PLEEASSE DONT EAT ME!!!! *grabs foot* PLEEEAASSSEE!!! NOOO!!
I hope that you will forgive me.

Okay.

SUUU!! Anyway one of the reasons I didn't update Friday was because it was my birthday and I was... raving.... so er, yeah ;D IM NOW A YEAR OLDER *jumps with joyfulness*

Thank you for reading guys I WUV U ALLS!!! happy pre-exam season!!! xD (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!)
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh and this chapter was dedicated to CAINSTER.. Yes it's awesome.. (@Valkyriecainfan) for her inspirationalness (new word) and awesomeness in everything :D read her wonderful stories!!! *hugs*

Thanks all xxxxxxx