"Why is there a bruise on your cheek?" I ask Harry, furrowing my eyebrows while looking up at him, carefully resting my hands on his biceps. He doesn't say anything, instead he avoids my eye contact. What the hell? "Harry." I drop my arms by my side and frown, his head lowers ever so slightly, so I take it in my hands and force him to look at me. Funny how I'm trying to comfort and help him when I can't help my own god damned self. I'm going to hell. "Harry." I say a little more sternly, searching his eyes. Realization hits me like a ton of bricks, I drop my hands by my side again, but as I'm gasping I'm covering my mouth with one hand and back away from him.
"No, no, no, no, no baby, it's okay." Harry reaches out for me but I dodge his grasp, pressing my back to the wall, but avoid looking at him.
"Was it me?" I barely whisper. I've always been a problem, my parents wanted a loving and caring daughter, but they ended up with me. I'm an annoying little bitch who isn't worthy of living and should burn in hell for the rest of eternity.
"What?" Harry asks, I can tell his eyebrows have come together without looking at him, that's how well I know him.
"Did you get in a fight over me?" I ask, daring to look at him with tears forming in my eyes. When he doesn't respond right away I jump to conclusions and look away. "Oh god." I squeak before running out of the bathroom, pushing past Harry and rushing downstairs, Harry's heavy footsteps chasing after me.
He eventually catches me, his massive hands wrapping around my arms and spinning me around, I scream a little when I collide into his hard torso, his arms wrapping around me, letting me cry into his chest. "I'm sorry." I sob. "Its always me, it's always my fault, I've always been the problem." I sob, sinking to my knees and dragging Harry with me. I feel myself falling deeper into the black hole I've created for myself.
"No, no you're not the problem baby." Harry attempts to assure me, but it doesn't help much. He cradles me in his arms for hours it feels like, just letting me sob into his chest while he strokes my hair and attempts to quiet me. My arms tightly wrapped around him, begging him not to leave me, if I let go he'll leave me, and I don't want that to happen.
As of right now, it feels like death is the only option. At least when I die no one will miss me, no one will care. I'll be buried without a word and everyone will go on with their life, like they're supposed to. They won't care, they shouldn't, I'm nothing but a sack of skin and bones. If I were to commit tonight, no one would grieve over my loss, because no one truly likes me, it all feels like everyone is in on some secret and sick joke where they all hate me and are pretending to like me. I'm annoying as hell, I constantly have to be assured you like me, because my mind is so screwed up that I can barely function.
At least sleep is a nice substitute for death. Sleep is great, because you're not exactly conscious or alive but you're still breathing so you're not dead, it's like a win win situation. I let the comfort sleep brings you take over my entirety and fall asleep on Harry's chest, clinging to him as if life depended on it.
*****
I wake up on my bed, the duvet wrapped around me and pillow that smells of Harry wrapped in my arms. How did I get here? I fell asleep in Harry's arms, downstairs, on a cold, hard floor. I suppose Harry placed me in the bed.
I yawn and stretch, making it feels as though my crumbling life has come together, just for a few seconds. I bury my head back in the pillow before hearing a squeaky and adorable meow from behind me. I open my eyes but brush it off, its probably my imagination playing tricks on me, something it often does. It squeaks again, my curiousity gets the better of me so I lazily turn over, coming face to face with an adorable ball of fur with bright and beautiful blue eyes and the most luscious looking fur and soft colors. I smile and pet her- assumed- head. Her purr instantly brightens my dark life, but only slightly. I sit up and wrap her in my arms, gushing over how cute she is, but how did she get here? I stay in my spot, adjusting myself so I'm sitting upright with my back against the headboard. I wonder if Harry will propose... I mean the scary thing about our relationship is we'll either get married or break up and quite frankly I don't want us to break up. Even if we do get married, and he's pissed at me, he's going to sit his ass in the other room and calm the fuck down because we are going to talk and get through this shit.
The young cat plays with my hand, biting and scratching, but she can't do much harm for a while. I giggle and playfully wrestle it before it eventually gets bored with me and plays with something on the blanket. I smile while watching her, feeling the happiness that comes along with watching a cat amusing itself.
I do believe we only live once- despite the irrevelant thing people say about "we live everyday, not once"- well technically we live once. Our life only has one chance, but you can take that chance and live it over and over each day, because everyday is something new, and I always used to think of the next day as a new day, a fresh start. So what if you fucked up yesterday, you have today to make up for it and do so much more.
"Someone looks deep in thought." Harry says, making me scream out of fear and jump. He laughs while I glare at him and the cat looks startled. "I see the cat woke you up." He grins, sitting next to me on the bed before pressing his lips to mine, igniting familiar sparks. "Look baby, I'll always love you, I don't care if you're a mess, you're my mess." His hand glides through my hair before he crashes our lips together. My hands rest on his biceps, wanting him to come closer. But as he comes closer to me, our chests nearly brushing against each other, I feel insecure, and at the most awkward time. Why is he still with me? I mean seriously.
I pull back slightly before mumbling against his lips. "What should we name the cat?" His eyes open slowly and I see the dissapointment in his eyes.
"It's your cat baby." He chuckles slightly before connecting our lips for a few seconds, apparently I didn't ruin the mood good enough. I want him, oh god I want him, but I felt insecure kissing him, imagine how I'd feel making love with him.
"Can we name her Chloe then?" I ask, pulling away from him, and looking at the cat.
"Why Chloe?" He asks, I pick up the cat and place her in my lap while shrugging.
"Because Chloe is a fabulous name, and I'm fabulous so it's only right to give her a fabulous name so she can be like her mom." I smile at Harry before placing a kiss to Chloe's head and letting her go.
"You're so weird." He grins, petting Chloe.
"No, I'm annoying." I retaliate, but regret it, realizing I sound like a drama queen and an attention whore. Fuck. He surprises me by taking my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him.
"Oh, baby, you're a daisy, unlike any I've ever seen. I know you have yet to be picked from the garden and a few of your petals have been picked and your leaves have withered a bit and you're not quite as strong as you once were, but baby, you are a beautiful daisy, and unlike any I've ever seen." He gently presses his lips to mine.
"That's deep." I laugh, more than likely ruining the moment.
~~
A/N: MY BIRTHDAY IS SATURDAY BITCHES!!!!!!!!!! So I will be updating tomorrow again☺ so yeah I'm turning 16 and my bestie is coming over *cough* Cheyenne *cough cough*
And I'm buying this (disgusting) girl at my school gum for my health project ughhh someone please do it for me
And one last thing I am doing homeschooling next year((: it's gon be fun (lol that rhymes whoops)
Qotd: how old are you?
Aotd: 16!! (Basically)
Vote and comment!
Baiiiiii all of you basic bitches
