//
Hey, Kiel.
This letter was dated six months ago.
We haven't talked for weeks now. Sure, I have left a comment on a recent photo you uploaded and you replied but it was nothing like us. We used to talk about your dreams and the movies you watched and the universe and although you never asked about me, I was glad we talked. That is a privilege I will be forever glad to have.
But everyone arrives at that stage where you guys just stopped... talking. I thought that time wouldn't permit it. I know you wouldn't care. You're possibly thankful that I don't bug you anymore with my questions and demands. It's just... I think I'm at that point where twenty-four hours a day isn't enough to fulfill all my responsibilities in school and in life.
I edit various manuscripts. My thesis and our film had eaten a lot of my time and brain capacity for a while now. I thought it was the reason why I couldn't have the time to talk to you.
I started slipping away gradually - until I arrived at that stage today where I thought what I feel wasn't enough. Baka nadala lang ako ng hype. Maybe I was romanticizing you too much as my first love. I didn't know.
But last night, I had a dream. I had a dream that you went to me and talked like nothing happened, like we didn't stop talking at all. You talked like the usual you. You talked as if you were the skies I had always looked up to. You talked just as the same and when the time came for you to say goodbye, we parted ways beautifully. I felt contented at the last part of my dream and wondered, when I woke up, how I remembered it so vividly when I always forget my past dreams.
I woke up wanting to run into your arms and hug you, although you'd feel weird, or maybe disgusted, at the worst case scenario, because I wasn't even a close friend to you. I don't even know if I am a friend. It pained me a lot not to know where I stand - or if I am even standing close to you.
Neverthelss, I woke up without any doubts, erasing anything negative that I had felt the past few days, forgetting the fact that I may not be in love with you. I know I have been wrong.
Because I do. I still do.
And I forever will.
//
