Santana's POV
Five months.
It's been five stressful months since the whole...incident. Five months since Brittany was put into a coma and five months since I last talked to anyone in her family. After leaving the hospital that day I began to isolate myself. I couldn't help but think everything was my fault. If I had just listened to her when she tried to warn me then things would be different.
Peyton's mother had her funeral right away...I went. I needed to go... not for her but for myself because even though I will never forgive Peyton and feel sick to my stomach just thinking about her...she was my best friend. Before all of this I cared about her like a sister and now my blood boils whenever I hear her name.
A few days after Peyton's funeral Rachel and I met up and as she did her best to comfort me she confessed that she had started dating Quinn and begged for my forgiveness. I was happy for her and surprised considering how plain she was. Although I support Rachel and Quinn I stopped speaking to them months ago. Last I heard they moved to New York after graduation.
I finished the school year from home and forced myself to focus on my classes which left me with amazing grades. My dad rewarded me by pitching in towards my first apartment.
Now that I don't necessarily have to talk to my parents I make up excuses to avoid them. When my mom calls I simply tell her I'm busy which isn't a total lie because I work most days and study most nights. My dad on the other hand skips phone calls and just stops by my apartment whenever he wants.
Despite wanting to be completely alone there's one person that I couldn't stay away from.
Brittany.
Thanks to Detective Combs I'm allowed to visit the hospital after hours and spend some time with Brittany. Holly stuck around after the case was closed and offered all of us support. She encouraged Quinn and I to talk with someone to help cope with the traumatic events we've seen. That easily translated to "head to a shrink because seeing the woman you love getting stabbed by your best friend is pretty fucked up". That's blunt I know but it's the truth.
I've visited Brittany every night for the past five months. I tell her everything. I smiled when I told her about my graduation and when I got a raise at work. I cried when I told her about the nightmares and about my constant fear that she wouldn't come back to me.
She hears me. I can't prove it but I know she does.
I've gotten into a routine. Work from nine in the morning to five in the evening, sleep for an hour, schoolwork until nine at night then I sit with Brittany from ten to midnight. Two hours is such a short amount of time to spend with her but I'm grateful for every second.
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Today when I get off of work I grab a few groceries before driving home. As I walk towards my building I see my father sitting on the stairs casually scrolling through his phone. I'm always surprised when he shows up because there's no consistency. I can never prepare for his visits and it bothers me because I never know where my headspace needs to be.
My father looks up from his phone and stands up with a big smile as I approach him. I know he's trying to be a good parent but that smile just irritates me. It's like he's not respecting the fact that I need space. A lot of space.
Michael:There she is.
Santana:(Sighs)What are you doing here?
Michael:(Hugs Santana)I'm checking in on my daughter like I've been doing for years.
Santana:(Quickly hugs Michael)Well I wish you would just call.
Michael:Not gonna happen. Now open the door it's chilly out here.
I step around my dad and open the door to the building. We make our way to my apartment and I began to feel uneasy. I've gotten used to not having people over and even though he's my dad and pops in whenever he wants I feel like my privacy is being invaded.
My apartment is my safe space and it's witnessed every emotion I've dealt with these past few months. The thought of having someone else inside makes me anxious. What if they sense the depressed vibe? What if my dad senses how emotional I've been? Isn't that like a parent superpower?
I feel someone rubbing my arms and immediately jump back. It takes a second for my eyes to focus on what's in front of me but when they do I see my dad staring at me with a worried expression. I slowly look around and I realize we're in my kitchen. Lately I get so wrapped up in my thoughts and I just end up checking out sometimes.
Santana:(Steps back)Sorry about that. (Goes through her bags).
Michael:(Watches Santana)Does that happen often?
Santana:(Shrugs)It happens.
Michael:How often Santana?
Santana:(Groans)I don't know okay? A few times a day maybe. (Quickly puts away her groceries).
Michael:Have you seen a doctor?
....
Michael:Santana honey what if you're driving one day and-
Santana:(Slams a cabinet closed)I'm fine.
Michael:You're not fine. You've cut everyone out off your life. Your mother, me and even Rachel. You won't physically attend school. Santana you're missing out on so much. Everyone is worried about you sweetheart.
Santana:Well there's no reason for you guys to worry. My classes are going well, work is great and I'm perfectly happy with my current social life.
Michael:We live in a small town and unlike you people talk. Santana you hardly leave this apartment. How can you possibly have a social life when you don't go anywhere?
Santana:(Scuffs)I'm sick and tired of these nosy ass people in this annoying ass town. Since when did you start listening to town gossip?
Michael:It isn't gossip if it's true honey. Remember you taught me that one.
Santana:(Mumbles)Yeah well I don't need any of you in my damn business.
Michael:(Speaks sternly)Excuse me?
Santana:I said you and all of the nosy ass people in this town need to stay out of my damn business. I am a grown ass woman and I don't need you or anyone else telling me the right way to live MY life. Now... I want you to leave.
Michael:Santana-
Santana:(Takes a deep breath)I'm asking you to leave dad. Please just...go.
Michael:(Sighs)We all love you Tana. (Kisses Santana's head)I'm your father and as long as you're my daughter I will never stop worrying about you. (Leaves).
When I hear the door shut I break down. My hands start shaking and sobs easily escape my throat. I've never talked to my dad that way. He was only trying to help and I just blew up on him. I've been trying so hard to prove that I'm fine and everything is alright but the truth is...
I'm a fucking mess.
