The Wedding Issue

Chapter Two - The Photographer

I wake up every morning, stare at the ceiling and wonder: What the fuck am I doing with my life? I felt like I was having a mid-life crisis, and I was barely twenty-eight.

And it's not like I don't have a lot going on for me at the moment. I'm engaged to the gorgeous Claire Gilbert; most guys would kill to get a girl like that. I met her when I was a senior in college and she was a freshman. Fresh high school graduates were so easy to score. I made her believe that I was the man of her dreams. Joke was on me; I ended up proposing two years later and we've been engaged ever since.

It was her idea to stay engaged until we both had stable jobs, and by that she meant herself, so that we wouldn't hinder each other's career lives. I was fine with it as long as she was fine with it. All of our relationship decisions were ultimately done by her. She was the one who weaved all the intricate details of this love story. A part of me still believed that she anticipated the proposal, despite her denying it every time I asked her.

I have the most amazing job in the world; I get to take pictures of everything that captures my attention. It was remarkable just how much you can see from the perfect angle. I fell in love with the trade when my parents took my sister and I, when we were barely teenagers, to an Art Gallery that displayed some of Luis Marden's finest works. They thought of it as a way to add more culture into our little family. It worked brilliantly. I couldn't stop staring and admiring his photographs; they were all about Jacques Cousteau and his underwater adventures. It made me feel like I was with them, in the moment, seeing what they saw then. I could almost hear them breathe through their oxygen masks and hear the bubbles pop as they reached the surface of the water. It was one of those moments of epiphany that you just know will change your life forever.

Getting to eternalize a beautiful scene on a glossy piece of paper or a wall-sized canvas was food to my soul ever since. I remember the first camera I got was the Contax N Digital, back when I was fourteen years old. It was the best Christmas present ever. I carried that thing around like it was the most precious of diamonds. I've been nicknamed "Cyclops" ever since. I'm never quite as happy as I am when I'm behind the camera lens. And the money isn't that bad either. When you live in a city like New York, being a freelance photographer isn't quite as challenging as one might think. It's actually one of the highest paid jobs in the state.

Despite all that, I felt like there's something missing. There's this constant nagging sensation that there's more to life than what I've got. It makes me wonder sometimes if I'm greedier than I let on, or I simply lack the feeling of gratitude. Whichever the reason was, it didn't make me feel good about myself, not in the slightest sense. It didn't make me come off as a decent person either.

Oh well!

I turned to the left and rested my head on my palm. Claire was sleeping peacefully by my side. She was perfect. She had everything a guy was looking for in a woman: great rack, a killer ass and a sexy personality. Her long blonde locks and almond shaped eyes only added to her appeal. My friends go green with envy when they see us together. She has turned me from a boy into a man, so I had to put a ring on her perfectly manicured finger.

But every time I looked at that ring, I wondered if I made the right choice.

I know, I know. This makes me sound like a complete and utter jackass, but everyone was entitled to getting cold-feet about life altering decisions.

Her eyes slowly started fluttering open, revealing the most beautiful hazel eyes that reminded me of a caramel sundae, and a smile drew on her face when she looked at me.

'Are you watching me sleep?', she asked in her sexy morning voice.

God, I loved her morning sexy voice.