The Wedding Issue

Chapter Seventeen - Chemistry

Fridays' marked the end of the work-week and the beginning of the weekend. I usually woke-up lighter and a little less stressed on Friday, and always looked forward to the weekend to unwind and hit the fancy club scene. The sun was just as bright as every other summer morning, and it played hide and seek with the clouds and skyscrapers like it does with every sunrise. I was also impressively out of earshot from the gloriously-not-so-glorious morning New York traffic, so I couldn't really complain about noise pollution. The sheets on bed was replaced yesterday and they were crisp and comfortable, so I couldn't really blame my bed for the lack of sleep I had last night. Basically, the only reason I woke up with a gloomy mood this morning was because of the little lie I weaved that would most certainly be my undoing.

The only thing to blame was my tongue.

What was I even thinking inviting his fiancée over for a meet-and-greet? The awkwardness of that conversation would ripple volumes of regret later on. I knew it. I so knew it. I shouldn't even be treating her like the competition because there was nothing going on with Killian and I to begin with. I did a very bad thing, and I couldn't bring myself to not commit to it. I had to meet her. I had to know what I was up against. I could somehow point all the flaws I would undoubtedly notice in her character and made sure Killian noticed them too. There must be something wrong with her if was starting to take notice of another woman; namely me. Killian didn't strike me as the type of guy who would cheat. He was loyal to his work and relationships. I could read that off of him the moment I saw him with his camera. There had to be something fundamentally wrong with Claire for him to even consider looking for someone else. Maybe then he could realize that compared to her, I was obviously the better choice. I was thinking of all the ways I could conspire against the unknown entity that was Claire Gilbert.

Once I realized all the horrible thoughts that were brewing in my head, I wanted to curl under the covers with shame. I was the worst person today. I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts. I should just cancel the whole thing. It certainly wasn't too late to do that. All I have to do was pick up the phone, call Monica and she will undo the whole thing. It would only cost me one phone call. That I could recover from. But the humiliation I was so dead-set on putting myself into; that would only require fleeing the country to get past.

But I had to meet her. And most importantly, I wanted to meet them together. I wanted to know what their relationship was like; how they behaved around each other. I wanted to understand the history they shared and poke holes into their romance. There must be something wrong with their relationship that I could play off of. Once I caught hold of that thing that could destroy their relationship, I could surgically remove Claire for once and for all.

As I was saying, I was the worst person today.

No matter how many miles I've run or how long I stayed in the shower, there was no removing these sinister thoughts from my head. If any of the women I knew were thinking these thoughts, I would've boldly chastised them and told them to be ashamed of themselves, but somehow that little infatuation that was ablaze inside me towards Killian made the phrase "all is fair in love and war" have a whole new impact on me. Saying that I loved Killian was an obvious stretch, but I could safely say that I was developing quite a serious crush on him. The kind that could evolve into something epic.

The dreamy-eyed girl was jumping with glee.

By the time I made it to the car I was determined to have a productive day ahead of me, Killian-free. He was tomorrow's problem. Today, I had to supervise all the progress we've made with this issue by approving the final cuts that Monica had decided on. She was doing a stellar job – there was no doubt about it. But this was a big move for Femme, and I had to be all over it.