The Wedding Issue

Chapter Twelve - Bridezilla

The vein on her forehead really did look like it was going to explode. It was dead blue against her pale skin and made her look zombie-like. Of course, she was yelling her lungs out and making sure every neighbor within ear's reach could hear us. Her lips were moving but all I could hear was a broken record. I was too busy playing Ping-Pong between her flaring nose and her volcanic vein.

She finally stopped to take her breath and I snapped out of my daze.

Madison called Claire to congratulate her about my new gig with Femme and Claire was ecstatic. When Claire asked her about just how big my pay check would be, Madison told her I asked for none. She got so mad at me and knew exactly where to find me to give me a piece of her mind, and some of her saliva along with it. Luckily, I dragged her all the way into our apartment before someone called the cops on us.

With the wedding coming up in a few months, she said that we needed every penny we could get. She didn't want to go for the small intimate wedding with only family and close friends. No. She wanted a big, fat wedding where she could invite the entire firm and brag about it for years to come. She wanted to have the wedding of the century and fantasized about having a huge article at "The Times" declaring our happy and overly priced nuptials.

'You are taking away my dream', she finally said in her normal, human voice.

'I'm not taking away your dream, Claire. We can still have the wedding at The Plaza. We've already booked the date and we've got the money for it', I tried to calm her down.

'But we could've had a much bigger wedding', she said as she stomped her feet; not hiding the fact that she found me incredibly annoying at this particular moment.

What is it with women and weddings? Women turn into predators when it comes to their fancy day in white for some reason. I mean for us guys, it's mainly about spending the rest of your life with the woman you love and not want to share a bed with anybody else. That too is important for women, but not as important as the actual wedding event where they get to play the lead role in the fairytale they've been practicing for ever since they were six years old.

'It doesn't have to be big to be perfect', I tried to reason with her.

'Oh, what do you know', she threw her arms in the air and then collapsed on the couch.

I really didn't know. I was dense about the matter.

'Look, the gallery is in three weeks, and we're going to make a lot of money from that', I told her.

Hopefully, I silently prayed. I didn't want to awaken that horrible vein on her forehead again. God knows I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

'It'll be too late for anything by then', she whined.

There was no pleasing her. No matter what I say or do, once she's made up her mind about something, there's no turning back. Another one of the many traits I promised to endure for the rest of my life.

Somebody call 911.

'What can I do to make it up to you?', I tried the old, skillful approach.

Always let a woman guide you to correcting your wrongs. Never, ever try to do it alone. You'll never get it right.

'There's nothing you can do.'

Another one of women's needlessly endless ruses. There's always something you can do. She just needs to play the victim card a little longer before she pulls out the big guns and tells me what it is I need to do to repent for my sin against her.

'Would you like to meet Genevieve in person?', I blurted.

I don't know why I said that. I don't even know why I thought that to begin with. Clearly, my brain is going rotten. Having those two in the same room would be a terrible, horrible, daft idea. I wouldn't be able to contain myself.

Killian, you fucking idiot!

'Could you really do that?', she murmured, clearly trying to contain her excitement.

'I could talk to her', I shrugged.

It wasn't like I was in the middle of the last favor I asked of Genevieve. Now I'll be asking her to take pictures of her and ask her to meet my crazy wife to be. Great. Just wonderful. Absolutely terrific.

I can't even begin to imagine how awkward that encounter would be.

Claire pounced at me. No she more like attacked me.

'Thank you, thank you, thank you', she exclaimed between the soft, wet kisses she smothered my face with.

What have I gotten myself into?