polarize :: [hood]

[v.vii. don't leave]

"But I'm not just a fuck-up, I'm the fuck-up you need, I don't hear nobody when you focus on me. Perfectly imperfect, yeah, I hope that you see.

Tell me you see..."
___

Dinner is...

Well.

Dinner is awkward.

It's awkward as fuck.

Its actually such a hot fucking mess that Zayn accidentally spills some water on Paige and Christian and Tobe both laugh and somehow, some way that breaks the ice and cuts through the awkward tension and dinner is still awkward as fuck but people are at least talking.

Calum is, of course, getting questions about his grades and where he wants to go to college and what his career goals and ambitions are because he's totally being interviewed for this role of "boyfriend" by his girl's parents and that was expected.

But, Royce also has to mumble out some answers and find it within her to answer the shit she's being thrown her way by Dina because there's also that giant elephant in the room, too.

And then there's the awkward tension between all four of the Greene kids because three of them haven't come back into the other's good graces yet and the oldest, well, he's been pretty much left out of the loop.

Family shit.

If Jesy were here, that statement about the Greene "family shit-show," might actually ring true.

It also might get another drink tossed in her face.

But, hey.

That was expected now.

Royce was the "bad girl" in the family, wasn't she? She was the one who let her personal life interfere with her social life.

And she was usually really good at hiding one from the other. She was usually good at being the Royce Greene. She was usually very good at being the straight-A, cheerleader, princess that everyone expected her to be.

Until her boyfriend came along.

Until now, that is.

Because that's even what her parents thought. If it weren't for her mom finding out about Calum sleeping over, she might have done a pretty good job of upholding that image.

And tonight was the make or break.

She really hoped her parents liked Calum. Hell, she wanted Christian to like him too, since Tobe seemed to be cool and Paige was...

Well, Paige was the wildcard.

Royce hoped Paige might come around. Royce hoped Zayn might help Paige come around.

But, one could only hope.

Because Royce was tired.

She was tired of upholding an image. She was tired of being who everyone expected her to be. Royce just wanted to be Royce. She wanted friends and family who cared about her no matter who her friends were and no matter what she did and no matter what her grades were.

There was an immense pressure to fit into a certain mold at her school, and deep down, she wondered how she'd be viewed if all of her peers knew about Dina. If the student body knew about her mother's habit and the life she lived as a child, would they ostracize her? Would they call her a freak or a druggie? Would they lump her with Calum and his friends or single her out completely like Paige's class once did to Zayn?

And as she sits at the table and watches her sister scowl and her parents—all three of them—smile and her brothers laugh at conversation made by the two "bad boys," Royce is seriously wondering how she has found herself in this situation. She wonders how she, of all people, has found herself living a life where she has to bail boys out of jail and skips class and hangs with daughters of drug dealers.