Since way before I can remember, I disliked boys; males in general, which was a normal reaction, self defense mechanism from me.
A consequence of a dramatic twisted childhood; I was abused and almost raped by my biological father, the reason of my meaningless existence, my own flesh and blood, my own dad.
My mother's relatives raised me, all thanks and praise to my grandma, I received almost everything from this beautiful creature, including love, otherwise I wasn't able to love. What gathered us together was a weak frail kinship, the fact that we share the same name and that the same blood runs in our veins (my mother included), the perfect united picture we're supposed to give to society to avoid it's criticism.
Accordingly to my needs and desires, I had to interact and fake intimacy with them, it took me needless and endless efforts to do likewise. By that, I wasn't expecting myself to express or feel a real pure affection, attraction, intimacy or even sexual desires toward anybody, the least thing I was thinking about was falling truly in love with no hidden physical benefices.
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EXCUSE MY ENGLISH (not a native speaker)
