I live for her

Chapter 15: Hands And Hugs

Leroy ♞

She rocked up in her mum's car. I saw her through the transparent walls of the hospital. I stared for so long that the oxygen around me started to thin... Or the molecules were transforming into some other phase of matter that my body could not utilize. I inhaled: The problem was solved. She waved at me... with her sweet smile, it was a pretty curve: it was the perfect curve, I mean if you found the length of that arc and reproduced it on every other girl's face their faces would suddenly be granted the ability to vaporize anybody's anxiety. I know it sounds far fetched... but I don't know how else to describe something so subtle and inconspicuous yet so... powerful?

Her smile was just as shy as she was, keeping her pretty white teeth behind closed lips and just peeking so much that it made her sensitive cheeks slightly noticeable: rose red. I watched her hand wave, disrupting the mixture of the numerous gases that made up the air around her. Her hands... are not beautiful, no, they're so pale and skinny... and sickly. It's one of the parts of her exterior that mirror her inner vulnerability. But I remember the first time I was able to overlook the sickly nature of the appearance of her hands because poet boys don't forget feelings. In fact no one can forget feelings that comprise of tingling lips, butterfly-fluttering innards, dopamine-flooded brain cells and the perfect harmony of two people breathing in sync while playing a rough game that leaves behind bitten lips and bruised necks. She did this thing with her hands, they were all over me. I liked it. I liked the fact that they'd spontaneously grab tightly onto my shirt and a split second later tip toe about my neck and head like there was treasure in my hair and they were trying to rob me of it. And it's when she wants to take a break... that her hands kill me, I mean this literally - I should be dead because when her hands press against my chest to spark some distance between two bodies that want to do the impossible and become one... it burns. It burns a large perimeter of my sternum and my heart's territory. It burns and it feels like it burns into my soul, I can't explain, but my skin's sensory cells say they love her hand in those moments. My body loves that hand that's disrupting the mixture of the numerous gases that make up the air around her.

The doors were forced apart again by the presence of the feet of a stage performer. She dashed into my arms and hugged me tightly causing me great discomfort - it was similar to how kids hugged barney in real life, with so much lack of control over the intensity of the adoration their muscle contractions expressed as they suffocated the purple dinosaur. As she squeezed me tight without forming a sound except a sniffle, that echoed an apology I had already heard on the phone, I stared at the crown of her hair. Black like my soul, starless like my soul... but it was beautiful: black can be beautiful - my soul can be - her hands crawled up to my shoulders and hooked it. Her head's crown started to fade away as her face adjusted so that green suns could meet dark moons. She didn't leave it there. She kept progressing in her unusual motion and gripped tightly onto my shoulder. I sensed her calf muscles contract, and with the tip of her toes maintaining her balance against gravity, she darted for my face softly pressed her lips against mine in the most innocent and pure way a girl can to a boy. I felt embarrassed recalling that the reception lady was behind me. I leaned down and rested my head on her shoulders to let the feelings of embarrassment and awkwardness in my system subside. I didn't say a word. Emily didn't either. She let my chin have a secure spot on her right shoulder and for a while we remained like that as I listened to her calm breathing. I want to say we have that deep a bond - but I can't, it was just one of those moments in life where things happened. We just seemed to communicate beyond speech. Only she gets me on this level.

"I think I missed you," she whispered into the little space her little head made a home of on my chest.

"I missed this."

"What?"

"Feeling safe and protected and secure and not alone."

"Do I give you all of that?

"Right now... you are."

She didn't ask more questions, she understood. "When can we check on her?"

"There's about fifteen minutes of the visiting hours left."

"Babe, come, let's go" she said throwing me out of her embrace and poking my back to urge me to make haste.

A/N: Thanks a lot if you spared the time to read this, do consider voting if you felt something.

And, well I feel iffy about this chapter, do you enjoy Leroy's observations?

Tell me what you think of this chapter, maybe some advice on what I could do better or even better: what you expected (and if you're too shy to do so in the comments section, don't hesitate to pm me then :) )

🚉 Choo-choo! I decided to slow things down, you know, do you too could feel what... they feel.

Thanks for reading ♥