Burned

Chapter 5: Jumping the Gun

*Flashback*

"Charlie," I breathed out of my mouth, "Have you talked to Sam today?"

He rubbed his face. He had dark circles that made him look like a relative of a raccoon. He hadnt slept, "No."

I wrapped my arms around myself, "Maybe you-"

"No," he growled harshly, "He's fine. We all are. You just got to calm yourself. You're a wreck." 

He knew he shouldnt point it out; he was one to talk in the first place. There hadnt been a day or night go by that he hadnt been thinking about it. Sam said to push it aside and soon the body would create its own force of mechanism that would tune it out and the brain will let the body forget about it.

It was easier said than done.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "How...how are you anyway?"

I shrugged and tightened my grip on myself, "Cant sleep. Ive been in Jimmy's bed for days. He's starting to wonder."

That caught an eyebrow, "You didnt-"

"No."

He scarfed down another chip. He himself had been asked a few questions. His mom wasnt one for turning a shoulder to strange things like the James' and Sam's parents. She was on top of eveything. 

He'd quieted me down for the most part. It was only a supplement though. We both know we'd be back and he'd need a new line. 

"Tell him its about your parents."

"What?"

He picked up another chip, "He's going to keep asking until you give him a reasonable answer. Tell him you're dreaming about them and you're just hurting. That's why you're acting strange."

I looked up this time, "Charlie, I cant do that. Its not-"

"You have to. I mean it. Tell him."

"But-"

He reached over and gripped my hand tightly, "Nikki, you have to trust me. I'm trying to help you. Its just going to get worse if you dont and its going to eat you up. You gotta let it die. This is going to be the way. Soon you'll be believing you're own lies."

I blinked a couple of times, "I need to talk to someone Charlie." 

"Talk to me." 

I pulled away "I cant! I'm scared and all you care about is covering your ass! I'm sorry and Im worried too but I still act like a fucking decent person!": 

The word sent him back. I usually dont curse like that. It was more of a slap in the face intended for him than to emphasize my anger, "Nikki-"

The tears came, "I need you, Charlie. Stop...stop being like Sam. You're not him."

"I'm not-"

"Just leave me alone!" I tightened my arms around myself again and rocked back and forth.

He sighed and eased up out of his seat. He felt my pain. He felt my fear. He was feeling everything I was feeling....he was just handling it better. 

He stopped and rocked me back and forth in his arms, shushing me, "Ive got you."

"Dont leave me," I sobbed.

"I wont."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Nikki."