University of SHIELD

First day at work

Loki comes sliding on a wheelchair by a buch of Metal-suited chicks)

Loki: Well,well, well...what do we have here? How do you like my Valkiries mr Stark?
Tony: FU man. What are you doing here? Weren't you suppose to be rotting in some kind of a fairy cage or something?
Loki: Thank you very much for your kind words my friend, but I'm afraid you'll have to suffer me for a while.
Thor: Loki. How did you get here?
Loki: Odin let me serve this mortal school, since I've presented such good behavior in the Dungeon. So here I am, where you could watch me over for a few days. You don't mind me bringing a few friends of mine to assist me...do you?
Thor: ...This doesn't make much sense...
Loki: Oh look! There's a coffee machine there. Toodles! Girls...
(Loki is being rolled away)

Clint: Should we just go to our classes and worry about this guy at break?
Tony: Yeah sure... Toodles, I guess.

(NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY CLASSROOM)

Whinn: I’m so bored and we haven’t even started yet.
Hira: I thought you liked NT.
Whinn: I do. But I already did nuclear physics in four different Universities. Even I have to be tired of it sometime!

Tony: (enters) Goodmorning class. My name is Tony Stark and I owe Stark Industries. That’s how you all know me. So yeah. You can call me Proffessor Stark, My Hot Stuff, Ironman...or...y’know...Tony...

Whinn: W...T...F...???
Tony: I beg your pardon?
Xed: YOU’RE our Nuclear Technology Teacher?...Dope.
Whinn: No. It’s not ‘dope’. This person is so not a philanthropist. He's just a moron in a fancy suit which is SO not cool and he sucks. And by the way Stark you’re not so smart either. Dr Strange us 100 times better than you.
Tony: ...did I miss something?
Hira: Is it true you made a fortune out of Nuclear weapons?
Tony: Yeah!!
Hira: Could you bring us a sample sometime?
Tony: ....
Hira: Question dismissed.
Tony: Ok now. Let's just...start over um...where's the damn catalogue. Oh...thank you...Whoa! That is A LOT of names..... Ok Let's see... Let's just introduce ourselves to eachother again. I'm gotta say my name, you're gotta say 'hi', like the Anonymus Alcoholics and then I'll say a few stuff about myself and pick someone else to repeat the process.
Hi. I'm Tony.
Class: Hi, Tony.
Tony: I am from the US, and I am a kazillionaire. I owe Stark Industries. To jnow me better, you can google my name. Now, let's pick...uhh...you!
Atla: Hira Crone! Here to brighten the world!
Class/Tony: Hi Hira.
Hira: I am from Greece, I grew up in Japan and I like noodles and prada! I am also good at being awesome.Ok I pick...Xander Chekov!
Xed: Present...Hi guys, my name is Xander.
Class/Tony: Hi Xander.
Xander: I am as Russian as Vodka but you cannot tell by the accent cuz I speak too juch English most of the time. By best man is Hogan Howell and ge can go next.
Hogan: It's pronounced Havell...German. Hogan. Howell.
Class/Tony: Hi Hogan.
Hogan: I am from Austria, I am a tall blonde. And I am available to girls only. Stark is basically my role model cuz I'm also a playboy. Cheers man. To you Guy Fawkes.
Tony: ...aha...ok....interesting.
Wallace: Guy Fawkes for short. My name is really Wallace Jones.
Somer: Shut up moron. No one calls you that.
Wallace: The only interesting thing about me is that I was arrested once for playing with matches.
Xander: You were trying to light a box of dinomites if December 5th.
Wallace: Exactly!
Tony: That's...interesting...um...
Wallace: Roques Kampfmann.
Rock: Hier.Oh. Hi. I am Rock, Magnus, Kampfmann.
Class: Hi Rock.
Rock: I am German, I like pancakes and ice cream and I'm propably richer than the chancellor at this time of my life. My father just died and I inherited everything.
Hogan: *cough* killed 'em  *cough*
Rock:Shuddup hog. Norma Wilston. My quiet bestie!
Norma: Hello class. My name us Norma and I'm an alcoholic.
Tony: I said like the anonym--
Whinn: She really is moron.
Norma: I am as British as f*** and I am a military genium, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
Tony: ...really?
Norma: Well...maybe not that philanthropist.
Xander: Mr Stark, you're gotta love her. She likes Scotch!
Whinn: It’s Japanese!!
Tony: You Scotch?
Whinn: It's Japanese!
Norma: Yes. Suntory. Only the finest.
Tony: Suntory is a fortune-costing Scotch...
Norma: And I have a fortune of Scotch in my basement!
Tony: ...I like you. We should hang out.
Whinn: Be careful what you answer.
Norma: Anytime mr Stark.
Tony: Last name reference. You already have an A.
Whinn: Wilston you are dead to me.
Norma: Whinn can go on.
Whinn: (sigh) Nicky Thomas. Just call me Whinn if you’re to use my first name…Even though I rather not!
Class: Hi Whinn.
Tony: Hi Nicky.
Whinn: I graduated University of Iraklion, Princeton, Yale and Harvard before I was 18.The end. Slavi, you can take it from here.
Slavi: Slavi no good English because Russian grow up in Poland, Germany and other countries. Slavi Iliyevskii. Don't call me Ilyitz.
Class: Hi, Slavi.
Slavi: Somer talk better English.
Somer: Scottish actually, like Scotch.
Tony: I really like this class.
Somer: I am Somer Reiben and I am a Harry Potter fan.
Tony: ....how'bout Star Wars.
Somer: Only the old.
Tony: I LOVE THIS CLASS! Are we done?
Somer: Ney...oh wait. Yeah, we are!
Tony: Nice metting me, people. Now. To get this acctually started.
I will be teachjng you nuclear technology.
Now... Let's say, Nuclear Technology is a sector of science focused on-- yes, Whinn?
Whinn: Nuclear Technology is the science that focuses on objects related to the breaking of the atom and their exploid to mankind’s benefit, like for example blowing up someone's head using microwaves!
Tony:  Correct...an other example is that can also be used to the gazification of specific humanan spiecies using gamma radiance! We can experiment it on you guys if you want.
Whinn: You can’t hurt us. You’re a... 'teacher'!
Tony: And that stops me because...?
Whinn: It prooves you’re not really a philanthropist.
Tony: I’m still good with genious, billionaire, playboy...
Whinn: Allright mr Genious... lopike previously mentioned...I graduated four universities before I come here and I'm not even 20! How may universitis did you graduate from?
Tony: I didn’t need to graduate any universities. The definition of Einstein’s theory was my first word!!!
Whinn: That doesn’t even make sence. Einstein's theory is a whole lotta words, pal! You'll only have to choose one to be your first!
Tony: Well I’m still a Billionaire, Playboy so HA!!!
Whinn: And I live in the same frat-house as...Hugh Hefner Jr--
Hogan: That’s me she’ talking about--
Whinn: And person who obviously spits gold, cause I have no idea where else could she find it! 
Hira: Really? Who?
Whinn: Not to mention the noble-head that has a collection of World War II tanks and Suntory Whiskey!!
Norma: ...ok. You just lost the right to drink my Scotch.
Whinn: It’s Japanese. So basically I'm richer that you.
Norma: Uhh...no, you are not. I am richer than him, and I kind of like him so, you have to beware Whinnie.
Whinn: Ok. She dies. For rwal now.
Tony: Norma, I like you. What cars do you drive?
Xed: Be careful Prof-Man. She’s in love with Jack the Ripper.
Slavi: Don’t listen to him. She just a crush on him.
Norma: Whaaaat? No I do not! (blushes crasy)
Rock: No.... You just owe everything that reffered to him back in the 1800s!
Somer: We're just saying...
Tony: So, I'm guessing you're driving a Rolls Royce and...hmm...Bentley.
Norma: Oh good guess! Yes! And you....maybee...Lotus, sir?
Tony: Now how do you know about that?
Whinn: Ok. I'm dropping this class!
(leaves room)
(small scilence)
Tony: Soo... Who’s got Scotch?
(Norma raises arm)

LATER AT CREW’S  APPARTMENT

Tony: WTF is wrong with these British brats?! Are you for real man!! I’m calling Fury. I do not get paid enough for this!!!
Natasha: Tony…you get $20.000 a month for this…
Tony: Exactly!! These kids are freaken psychopaths!!!
Clint: Let me guess… bad day at school?
Tony:  Well… to be honest, it was not as bad as I thought it would be… some of them almost paid attention at some point but those who didn’t just… gah!! This isn’t high school for crying out loud! If you’re too bored to study just go home!!
Clint: I really don’t get what’s going on here. We’re looking for a hyper radiance lab in the collage?
Bruce: No. We know the lab is in the collage! We’re looking after who have access to it and make sure they don’t!
Clint: Why didn’t they send the Agents of SHIELD or something? Don’t they know we have serious jobs?! Man…I missed Mocking Jay part II for this thing!!
Natasha: Clint! Shut up. It is a free…under payment holiday!!!
Tony: I’m with Clint. I’m really looking forward to getting these loosers… and they better be worth hiring us instead of ordinary spies or…something….I’m going to bed.
Steve: But it’s still 10…
Tony: WHAT?? Man, it gets dark early back here…. I HATE ENGLAND!!! I’m going for scotch until it’s bedtime…
Clint: Right behind you man…
Steve: Did anybody see Thor?
Bruce: Yeah, he went to watch Chris Hemsworth in "The Heart of the Sea".
Natasha: Whatever. I’m going to Oxford Street. Since I am in England, I’m gotta take advantage of it… Toodles!
Loki: I'm coming with you. I need to buy some suits.
Natasha: Um...you're the Janitor...
Loki: ...so?
Natasha: Yeah, sure let's go.
(Loki and Natasha leave.)