Only You // 5 Seconds of Summer

Chapter 23: I Don't Know Anymore

Chapter 23:

Recap:

All of a sudden Luke, Calum and an unfamiliar girl walked up to us. The thing that caught me though, was that Luke was holding hands with this mystery girl. I immediately felt tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

He's definitely moved on.

The girl had curly brown hair that flowed down a little past her shoulders and her big hazel eyes were staring at all of us. She was wearing a cream coloured sweater - even though it was like a hundred degrees outside - and blue skinny jeans with brown sandals. I have to admit, she was really pretty.

"Hey guys," Calum says to all of us before walking over to Emma and giving her a big hug.

"Who's your...friend?" Michael asks before stuffing the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth.

"Oh uh, guys this is Kayleen." Luke says gesturing towards the girl who's hand he was holding onto. He didn't even look at me at all.

"Hi," The girl laughs, "You can just call me Kay if you want."

"Kayleen is a really pretty name, wow," Emma thinks aloud.

"Thanks," Kay let's out a shy giggle.

"Hi Kayleen," I said to her. I figured I should call her Kayleen just because I feel like we're not too good of friends for me to call her Kay. I stick my hand out for a handshake and Luke finally looks at me. "I'm Sierra," I introduce myself.

"Hey Sierra," She replies, shaking my hand with hers.

We talk a little bit for a few more minutes before the bell rang. Luke and I never made any eye contact or talked to each other and luckily no one asked. I had music first period so I still had to put up with dealing with Luke. But I guess I had Ashton, Michael and Calum...I think. Calum talked to me a bit but it still wasn't the same as usual. It was slightly awkward but he talks to me and didn't seem to bothered about it.

I walk into Music with Ashton beside me and Calum, Luke and Michael walking ahead of us. "You okay?" Ashton asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I nod. And that wasn't a lie. I am fine, just slightly disappointed that Luke could move on that quickly.

We walked into Music and I sat down next to Michael. After a few minutes of the five of us talking, Mrs Bergin decides to let us experiment what she just taught us in class. I walk over to where the school guitars were usually kept and take one from there. I sit back down playing around on my guitar. Michael's voice suddenly broke my train of thought.

"Are you and Luke okay?" He asks. He had stopped strumming and he turned to face me.

"Sorry?" I ask, stunned by the sudden question.

"You and Luke...is everything okay with you guys?" Michael asks casually.

"Oh umm...not really. I-I don't think so," I reply. I stopped my strumming and rested my chin on the guitar, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Why? What happened?" Michael asks with worry in his voice.

"Um...I-I used him," I say quietly. I feel tears forming in my eyes once again. This seemed to be happening every time I talked about it.

"You used him?" Michael asks, looking shocked.

I look up at Michael and rub the tears that were forming in my eyes. "I have a boyfriend back in London and he came to visit me on Monday while Luke was over. My boyfriend, Jake, he's really...abusive. He's an alcoholic and he's just not your ideal boyfriend. And I came here to sorta run away from him for a few months, but then I met Luke. Luke changed everything-"

"Woah, woah, woah," Michael says looking taken back. "Are you saying this is Luke's fault?"

"No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I wasn't expecting to fall in love with someone while I was here...but then I fell in love with Luke. I should've stopped all of this when I had the chance or told Luke earlier but I didn't and that was my biggest mistake."

There was a long moment of silence before Michael spoke. "I understand what you're saying. This isn't your fault and it's not Luke's either. But you've obviously made him upset. I haven't really talked to him but I can see that he isn't feeling 100%," Michael says.

"I talked to him, I explained him everything but he didn't really bother. And now here he is coming to school holding hands with another girl."

"This isn't like him," Michael observes. "Like it's not something I imagined him doing."

"Maybe he's changed," I shrug.

"Maybe..."

Michael's POV

It was after school when the bell rang. I ran downstairs to open the door and saw mum in the kitchen making nachos. "Hey!" I said as I opened the door to Calum, Luke and Ashton. We had band practice today.

"Hey," The other boys walked into my house and greeted my mum. "Good afternoon Mrs Clifford," Ashton said.

"Good afternoon boys," Mum replies. "I made you boys some nachos, I'm just popping them in the oven now, I'll bring them to you when they're done."

"Thank you!"

We walk over to the basement where all our instruments were already kept. "Let's get this started!" Calum says, picking up his bass.

After about an hour of practice, we took a break. Mum brought us the hot, freshly made nachos and set them down on a little table that was uselessly lying in the basement.

"So...Luke," I start the conversation.  "What's going on with you and Kaylee?"

"It's Kayleen," Luke corrects me. "And nothing."

"Then why were you holding hands with her?" I ask, I could tell Luke was getting uncomfortable.

He shrugs, "It was friendly."

"Sure, sure," Ashton says, picking up a corn chip and popping it into his mouth.

"No, seriously! There's nothing going on with Kayleen and I, she's the 'new girl' who wanted help," Luke explains.

"But do you like her?" I question him.

"As a friend, yes," Luke replies.

For a long moment I was deciding whether or not I should say this out loud to Luke but it seemed to just pop out. "You know, Sierra's pretty upset about it. She thinks you two are together and you've already moved on."

Luke looks at me like he was about to kill me and there was a few minutes of silence before he storms out the room. I regret saying that out loud immediately.

Calum - who was quietly listening to the conversation, up until now - burrows his face in his hands and then looked back up at me. "What the fuck Michael?! Why would you even say that?"

Calum copies Luke's actions and storms out the room too. I sit down on the chair Luke was on earlier and drop my head on the table. "It's cool dude," Ashton says, sitting in the seat opposite me.

"Is it really?" I ask, looking up at him. "I shouldn't of said that."

"Yeah you probably shouldn't of but it's fine. Luke's really upset about this. And so is Sierra. I was there when it all happened and she was bawling her eyes. She was so mad at herself and she was really upset about it all. She went to talk to Luke and Luke wasn't really happy with her. He's really angry at her as well."

"Yeah, I understand," I say.

"Maybe just give him some time, I think that's the best thing to do. I get that it's really awkward and stuff with Sierra being around all the time but just leave it to them to sort out." Ashton says to me.

"Uhh yeah, okay. I think we should just continue band practice and get Calum and Luke," I say, getting up from my seat.

"Sure," Ashton follows me out the basement and into the lounge room where my mum was lying on the couch, reading a magazine.

"Hey boys, is everything alright?" Mum asks.

"Did you see where Calum and Luke went?" Ashton asks.

"Luke walked out the door and then Calum came and walked out the door," Mum explained. "Is everything okay?"

"Uhh, yeah," I lie.

"They can't really go anywhere because I was the one to drive them here," Ashton laughs, walking towards the door.

He opens it and we see Luke and Calum sitting at the entrance of the driveway outside my house. Ashton and I walk over to them and sit next to them.

"Band meeting!" Ashton calls out.

Luke looks down and Calum looks at me and nods his head towards to Luke, gesturing me to apologize to him.

"Uhh, Luke, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier." There was a moment of silence before I continued, "I just hope you know that she was really upset seeing you holding hands with another girl."

"So...you talked to her...?" Luke looks up at me.

"Yeah and she really didn't mean to hurt you at all," I reply.

"But she did, didn't she?"

I didn't know what to say after that. Luke was really hurting.

The rest of the band practice was really awkward but we all managed to get through it without going off topic.

*****

Calum's POV

It was Thursday after school and I was sitting in front of the TV watching 'Friends' and eating Mac and cheese.

"Don't you have any homework to do?" Mali asks, walking into the lounge and taking a seat next to me.

"Nah, I finished it all," I reply. Which wasn't a lie. I'll admit, that question comes up a lot in my household and i answer with the same thing. Sometimes its a lie but it wasn't today, I actually managed to finish the little homework I had before 5pm.

"How's Luke?" Mali asks. She takes the fork that was lying in my half-empty bowl of Mac and cheese and pops it in her mouth. She takes a few bites and makes a face. After swallowing, she hangs her tongue out of her mouth and makes a sour face. "Ew Calum, this is so under-cooked!"

I throw my hands up in the air, "I give up on cooking! And he's...well if I say 'good' I'd be lying."

"Maybe you should go talk to him," Mali suggests.

"Nah, i think he just needs some space," I reply, putting down my bowl on the coffee table in front of me. I decided that I wasn't going to finish it after all.

"Well sometimes people just need a friend. You're not doing anything productive anyways," Mali shrugs.

I think about it for a second. "Yeah, that's true." I get off the couch, taking my bowl into the kitchen and emptying the content in the rubbish bin.

"See you," Mali calls out as I make my way to the door.

"Bye!"

I drive to Luke's house which was pretty far away from where I live. It was a good half an hour drive and the traffic on the roads weren't helping either.

By the time I ended up in luke's driveway, it was nearly 6:00. I get out of the car and walk up to Luke's door. I knock on it a couple times and Liz opens the door.

"Hey Calum!" She greets me, gesturing me to come inside."

"Hi Liz," I say, entering the tidy house.

"Is everything okay?" Liz asks, following me towards Luke's bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm just here to spend some time with Luke...if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay! You can stay for dinner if you like," Liz exclaims.

"It's fine, mum will probably want me home for dinner," I explain, walking up to Luke's closed bedroom door.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, thanks for the offer though."

"No worries. If you boys need anything, I'll be in the kitchen."

"Thanks Liz!" I say before knocking on Luke's door.

"Who is it?" I hear Luke's voice from inside.

"Calum."

The door opens immediately. Almost like he was waiting at the door to open it. I see Luke holding a pen in his hand and school books scattered all around his computer desk. He was obviously finishing up his homework.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Luke asks.

I let myself in his room and sit at the edge of his bed. "Yeah, just here to hang out."

"Hang out meaning like, talk about...Sierra?" Luke asks, looking slightly annoyed.

"Uhh, you could say that," I reply.

"Calum, I appreciate you coming here but I don't need anyone, I'm fine," Luke says, sternly.

"I beg to differ. Spill it all out. How do you feel? I'm not leaving till we sort this out and till you feel better. You need to move on with your life," I say playing with a penguin soft toy that was lying next to Luke's pillow.

"I am moving on," Luke argues back, taking a seat on the chair he was doing his homework on earlier.

"No you're not. You're obviously still upset about this. You need to understand that Sierra did do something wrong and she is really sorry, Luke. She doesn't want you to ignore her or to hate her for the rest of your life."

"Why is everyone on Sierra's side? It makes me feel like I'm the bad guy here. Everyone just needs to think of it from my point of view," Luke looked like he was about to break into tears any minute now.

"I'm not saying that you're the bad guy, I'm just saying that you need to think of it from Sierra's point of view. She was confused. Everyone makes mistakes in life, it's part of being human."

Luke sighs, "I know."

"Now can you tell me about Kayleen?" I ask. I had to get this out of Luke, I knew he wouldn't just move onto another girl just like that.

"What about her?"

"Come on Luke, just tell me." I refuse to admit that there wasn't something going that had to do with Kayleen.

Luke drops his head, defeated. "I was holding hands with her in hope to make Sierra feel jealous."

My eyebrows raised at the sound of Luke's confession. In full honesty, that was not something Luke would do. "And it worked," I say.

"Yeah, it did."

"Luke, can I ask you something?" I wait for an answer but soon realize that I wasn't going to get one so I just continued. "Do you still love Sierra?"

Silence filled the air for what seemed like forever but then Luke finally opened his mouth.

"I...I don't know anymore."

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Sorry I took forever to update! I've been really busy! Please keep voting and stuff :) and keep an eye out for my new Michael fanfic, it will be uploaded soon!

(Im trying to keep my notes at the end short lol)

Shania xx