BUBOG (An AMACon4 Entry)

BANAAG

"Small glimpses of light in a sea of abiding sorrow."

Our day of torment (Sarabante lyrics)

November 23, 2016, Abuja, Nigeria

It was the 2nd day of our extraction mission here in Nigeria and we are nowhere near the target extraction point.

I'm writing this letter again in case something happens to me.

Kev, my tracker, he died the most gruesome death. When gunfire erupts, he was trailing behind me. I told him to take cover but as he was running from one bunker to another, a bomb went off throwing him 2 feet away from me.

I tried with all my might to get to where he is but when I got there, he was already dead. His body was cut in half. His insides were spewed all over the place and there was blood everywhere.

I tried to revive him, I even gave him some morphine but it was too late. I was too late.

As the gunfire continues, I almost lost all the will to keep moving forward. But I knew I had to. I still have my men awaiting for my instructions and we still have a mission to complete so I endured.

Good thing, we didn't lost anyone anymore.

I held Kev's letter to his wife in my hands as I write this entry and I wondered how painful must it be for the two of them, who recently just got married, to lose each other in such a cruel way.

Then I thought about my girl.

I thought about her.

And right this moment I prayed to God, please, let me see her face one more time.

R

Napapikit ako. Bigla kong naalala yung araw na yun. Yun yung araw kung saan sinabi sa akin ni Kev kung gaano siya kaexcited na matapos na ang aming misyon upang makauwi kami dahil nanganak na daw ang kanyang asawa.

Biniro pa nga namin siya na makakascore na ulit siya kay esmi at pwedeng pwede na ulit sundan.

Matunog na tawa lang ang isinagot nya sa amin.

Umiling lang ito habang tinitingnan ang picture ng asawa nya karga karga ang kapapanganak lang nilang sanggol.

Umakbay pa nga ako sa kanya at sinabing tatapusin agad namin ang misyong ito para maalagaan at makasama na nya ang anak nya.

Hindi ko alam na yun na pala ang huling beses na makikita kong nakangiti siya. Yun na pala ang huling beses na makikita nya ang anak nya. Yun na pala ang huling beses na makakausap nya ang asawa nya.

Tapos bigla kong naalala yung huling linyang binasa nya. 'And right this moment I prayed to God, please, let me see her face one more time.'

Her. Sino siya?

Na-distract ako sa tunog ng pagsara ng notebook.

Ano ba talagang ginagawa ko dito?

Heto nanaman ako. Kaharap ang lalaking nakaputi na walang ibang ginawa kundi magsalita nang magsalita nang magsalita.

Madalas may mga sinasabi lang siyang kailangan kong gawin, o inumin. At may mga araw na pinapag kwento nya lang ako ng kung anu-anong bagay tungkol sa kung ano man.

Ano bang akala niya? Baliw na ako?

Hindi ako baliw. Hindi pa.

"RJ. You're zoning out again. You have to tell me what you think. Otherwise walang mangyayari sa atin dito." usal nya.