Can't Let Go

Chapter 6: The Reunion

February 14th, 2021

Its Valentines day and Sage wanted to take me out on a date but it was a surprise. We took Zendaya over to our neighbor's house, who was a babysitter. Before we got in the car, Sage came behind me and put a blindfold over my eyes. He helped me sit down in the car. He walked to the the drivers side and I heard the door open and I heard the car starting. I was anxious to know where we were going so he turned on the radio, he knew it calmed me down. He put on a station that played songs from when we were pre-teens to early teens. All the songs that came on, I remembered singing and dancing to them like it was yesterday. Then a song that brung back so many memories came on the radio. It was bad things by (MGK & Camilla Cabello) Zen and I would always sing that song together. I have a pretty nice singing voice and Zen loved to rap. Our favorite part to sing together was " I want you forever even when were not together, scars on my body so I can take you whereever like,  I want you forever even when we're not together, scars on my body I can look at you whenever. That made tears come to my eyes. I loved Sage but I also loved the memories that I had with Zen. I turned my head to the window and lifted the blindfold alittle so that I could wipe the tears from my face without Sage noticing. It felt like Sage was driving for days. I asked him so many questions but he didnt answer me. All he said was....Its ok, we'll be there soon. The car stopped a couple of times but Sage would just tell me that we're making a quick stop......Dont take your blindfold off! The third time the car stopped, he got out of the car. He held my hand and guided me to my surprise. We stopped walking, he took off my blindfold and I was shocked from what I'd seen. I was my old bedroom in Jansonville and my mom and two best friends that I haven't talked to in years were sitting in front of me. My mom ran up to me and gave me a hug that was so warm  gentle, and full of love. I never was really close to my mom. I was always daddy's little girl. Then Mia hugged me. Mia was always the wild friend. She was popular, all the boys wanted her and all the girls wanted to be her. She was average height, friendly, shaped nicely, she always had her hair, make-up, nails, and outfits on point. Next was Leah. Leah was the sweet one. She always studied, always had straight A's, and was nice to every one. After I hugged everyone, I turned to Sage and said " How did you know about them?"  because I never told him about them. Sage smirks and says " I have my ways." I gave him a kiss on the lips and thanked him. I have to go, I'm going to let you ladies catch up, Sage says backing up toward the door and waving goodbye. Sage left and didnt come back until the next day. I told them everything that has happened to me over the past few years. I felt so bad because my own mother and best friends didn't know about Zendaya. My mom talked to me in private and we forgave eachother. I promised her that she will get a chance to met Zendaya soon. I talked to the girls and they told me everything about their boyfriends. We talked for hours but we decided to go out and have a few drinks. But instead we arrived at the beach . As we were walking, I seen Sage in a tuxedo. He was holding a dress that matched his tux. Leah took the dress and pulled me into a cave and told me to put it on. I put the dress on and walked out of the cave and there was dinner table with two candles on it. Sage was sitting there with two plates of Spaghetti. We ate and he handed me a piece of paper. I read the paper and when I looked up. Sage was gone! The paper said " If you want to find me.... Follow the sea, the sea will lead you to me." I got up and walked by the shore and there was no one in sight. Then I started to see roses that spelled out something. When I finally read what the words said, I couldnt help but to cry with joy. The roses spelled out " WILL YOU MARRY ME? And when I turned around Sage was on one knee holding out a box with a big diamond ring in it. Sage said with a calm deep smooth voice " Sabrina Tiara Stevens..... Will you do me the honor of being my wife? I started crying even harder when I heard those words and I nodded and I said yes. Sage put the ring on my finger and stood up. I jumped into his arms. Leah and Mia gave me a tiara and sash that said "future bride" and said we are going to throw you a bachelorette party. We walked outside and there was a party bus. We got on the bus and it drove us to a male strip club. I've never been to a strip club before but I always wanted to go to a male strip club. I really didnt want to see any naked or half naked man other than Sage but I didnt want to waste my friends' money. When we got to the club, the first thing we did was get drinks and got drunk. We danced the night away. I never danced that must in my life. I didnt know the girls paid for me to get a lap dance. I heard my name get called to go on stage. I tried to act like I didnt hear my name being called but Mia and Leah started pointing at me. This shirtless guy came off the stage, walked to me, picked me up and carried me to the stage. He sat me in a chair and he started grinding on me. I felt SO uncomfortable so I got up and started to walk off but the stripper tried to pull me back but I refused. He continued to pull me so I slapped him and I ran outside and started walk home. My house was 10 miles away but at that point I didnt care. When I was half way home, I started to feel dizzy. I blacked out. Then I heard a voice. It was Sage's voice but I dont remember what he was saying. The next morning I woke up in bed. I had a bad hangover. Sage came into the room with breakfast and asked me what happened to me last night. I told him all that I remembered. Sage looked at me with confusion and said Why did you run away by yourself? I didnt really tell him about the lap dance, I hesitated on telling him because I didnt know how he would react. I took a deep breathe and told him about the lap dance and how uncomfortable I felt and I felt like I was cheating. Sage laughed in relief and said Really!?!? I said What? Im happy that you left but it wasnt that much of a big deal but at least I know I can trust you and that your loyal to me, Sage said still laughing. At that moment I realized how much I loved him and I couldn't spend the rest of my life without him in it.

A week later, we were back in California. I had plans that day that I couldn't tell Sage. I didnt want to keep things from him but I felt that it was needed. Before Sage left for work I told him half the truth about what I was going to do that day. I told him that I was going to spend time with Daya which was true but I didnt tell him that I was also going to visit Zen. I felt bad for Zen because he had no one but me and Zendaya. The prison had maximum security so we couldnt take anything in with us. If we wanted food from the inside we had to put money on a card. After they got done checking everything they finally let us in. While we were waiting for Zen, I got Daya some coloring sheets and I helped her color. Then all of a sudden I seen the doors open. Zen looked a bit different. He had facial hair which looked nice on him. He didnt exspect for me to be here so he was looking around for familiar faces. Then he spotted me, I could see the shock on his face. We walked to the table and sat right across from Daya and I. He smiled and said I wasnt expecting you to ever come and visit me but I'm happy your here. I didnt say anything, I let him talk. He was talking jail talk which was how he is going to do so much better when he gets out and how he wants to be a family man and raise our daughter together. He told me that he wanted us to get back together. He had the nerve to tell me that after all the hell he put me through. But all I said was..... Sorry Zen, I'm engaged and I love Sage now. My heart was beating out my chest, I could tell he was hurt when I said it. His eyes started to get watery but he looked down and covered his face. I never seen him like this before. It made me cry. He lifted his head and looked at me with tears pouring down his face. Zendaya looked at me with worry in her eyes but I told her that Mommy's alright and to keep coloring. So she went back to coloring. I looked back at Zen and I could tell that he wanted to say something but he couldnt make the words come out of his mouth. Zen cleared his throat and wiped the tears off his face and said "I'm sorry." Tears came down his face even more. "Im sorry for what I did to you, the drugs turned me into a monster.I loved you and I knowthat I messed up and what I did to you wasnt right. And I'm starting to see how bad I messed up..... I lost the love of my life and my child, I dont even know my own child's name, I lost everything and everyone I love and I hate that I wasnt there for you or our daughter. Im so sorry and I hope you can forgive me." Both of us were crying.At that moment I started to see the old Zen I came to know and love. I told him that I forgive him and that I have to talk to Sage about was coming to visit more often and that Sage didnt know I was there now. Zendaya deserves to know her biological father. Zen smiles and says, "So her name is Zendaya.... She's named after me.. Whats her whole name?"  Zendaya Moné Stevens, I said looking at Daya. I introduced her to Zen, I told her that he was her Daddy and to go sit next to him. When she sit next to him, she gave him the biggest hug. Zen held her for along time, more and more I seen the old Zen back. He started to play with her and they were so adorable.  Daya was the little girl version of him. I wanted to see how he would act with her alone so went to the vending machine for food. I looked back at them playing and having a good time and I realized that I don't hate Zen. I still love him but I'm in love with Sage. I came back to the table with the food and we just ate and talked about Daya and our childhood memories. We had alot of laughs together that we hadn't had in alot time. The officer stood up and blew a whistle and announced that we had 3 minutes to say our goodbyes. We both stood up and walked to the side of the table where Zen was and I told Daya that we were about to go. She didnt want to go but I told her we would come back. She gave Zen a coloring sheet that she colored and wrote I ❤ u just like how I taught her. Zen had the biggest smile on his face. He picked her up and gave her a hug and told her that he loved her too. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. He was still holding Zendaya and he grabbed my hand and pulled me on for a hug. It felt like we were a happy family. He leaned in and kissed me on the lips, I didn't pull away at first,  then reality kicked in. I pulled away and said I can't do this ..... We cant do this! I LOVE YOU! Zen said. It sent chills down my spine when I heard those three word come out his mouth. I love you too but I also love Sage and this cant happen again. The officer said Times up!  Zendaya hugged Zen one more time. She grabbed my hand and we started to walk off. When we got outside I put Daya in her car seat and buckled her up. I got in the drivers seat and broke down into tears. Even though Zen was my ex, we were best friends before we even got together and we were so close and now everythings changed. I had to pull myself together. I started to drive home. When I came back, Sage was already asleep so I put Daya to bed. I went to bed and cried until I fell asleep.