Hanahaki - BTS Fanfic #Wattys2017

Too Late

I felt weak.

Really weak.

Not just internally, but also physically. I felt drained, and the only thing it seemed I had the strength for was to expel cherry blossoms from my body. My bed seemed littered with them, so much so you would've thought someone was planning for a romantic night. Like that cheesy bullcrap even happens in real life.

It hurt. What Taehyung said seemed to be etched into my skin. And the fact that he hasn't contacted me- that none of the boys have- hurt me even more.

But Taehyung was right. I wouldn't leave him alone. I wanted so desperately for him to be mine in a way that he would never, in a million years, be able to do. All of those empty promises of forever seemed to be so far away.

I clicked through romantic comedies and k-dramas on the television, always turning it off at the confession parts.

What a load of bullshit.

Over time though, the boys started to visit again. Hoseok, Yoongi, Jin, Jungkook- everyone but Taehyung. I lied and said that I was sick- well, that wasn't a total lie- and that my aunt sent me a huge banquet of flowers that had wilted, which is why petals were scattered amongst the floors.

The boys, being as gullible as they were, lapped it up. They told me how sorry they were that I was sick, but none of them mentioned the embarrassing incident. Or Taehyung. They knew he was a forbidden topic now, at least to speak of in front of me.

He still didn't visit. Not a single text. Not one call. Not one word.

Over time, I got better. The petals slowly started coming out less and less, and I was becoming strong enough to go outside again. I knew it wasn't because Taehyung was in love with me somehow, someway, and out of the blue.

It was because I stopped loving him.

He seemed to be nothing more than a faint scar. The scars he etched into my skin with his words, that seemed to cut into my soul like a knife, were now faded. And so was he, in my memory. I chose not to let him become tainted in my brain. I chose to look back on the fond memories. Of memories where I cried my eyes out and his arms embraced me, to times he hit me playfully with pillows, and to the small moments of going out for ice cream.

I didn't want to look back and only remember the one who yelled at me in a restaurant, in front of his friends, and the waitress, and hurt me.

But I got over him, nonetheless.

I started going out more, and I found myself walking across a bridge as I was on my way to the bakery. A figure bumped into me, and we both hastily apologized, bowing 90 degrees, though bumping heads as well.

"Oh, fuck," I curse softly, looking up. My eyes get bright as I look at my friend. "Jiminie! Sorry for bumping into you."

"Oh, Gi!" Jimin exclaims, rubbing his head. "Wow, you have a hard noggin. What're you doing here?"

"I'm on my way to the bakery," I mention, smiling to the boy. "And you?"

"A-Ah! Same," he says. "I was going to the bakery as well."

I quirk a brow. "But you were heading in the opposite direction from me."

"Caught in a lie, I suppose," he chuckles softly. "I just wanted an excuse to walk with you."

My heart flutters a bit. "O-Oh, did you?" Catching myself blushing, I shake away the wandering thoughts. "Well, you don't need an excuse, Jimin. I'm always here when you need me. It'd be fun for us to spend more time together."

"Yeah," Jimin breathes softly. "Yeah, I'd enjoy that."

We stand there, awkwardly smiling to each other, our cheeks red.

"Uh, well, we should, erm, get going then," I mumble. "The bread won't eat itself, y'know."

"Yeah," Jimin grins. "It won't."

-

"Croissants are honestly one of the most delicious things," I mumble to myself, chuckling. Jimin reaches over to brush some crumbs off of my cheeks, and I resist the urge to smile bigger.

"I'll say," Jimin chuckles. Suddenly the air around us is quiet, and there's a silence that echoes between us. Jimin looks down, his eyes avoiding mine. "Look, I'm uh, sorry."

"For what?" I asked, quirking a brow, though I already have an idea to what he's hinting at.

"For not being there when you needed me," Jimin says. "When you were sick and already feeling really horrible because of that fiasco with Tae."

I feel tense at the mention of his name. "Oh."

"Yeah," Jimin says quietly. "That... really wasn't cool of me, honestly. You didn't deserve that. He was being an ass, but I'm sure he was bottling up things like he usually does, you know?"

"Yeah," I say softly, thinking back to my best friend. Ex- best friend. "I know."

"I also should've stopped him from harping so much on you," Jimin continues. "I should've told him enough was enough. I mean sure, your crush was evident, but whether or not those things were true didn't give him any excuse to say those things to you. Especially the way he said it. You're not annoying, Gihan, I hope you know that."

I feel my eyes water. "Y-Yeah, thanks... Jimin."

Jimin gulps nervously, his eyes shaky as he looks into mine. "I can't believe I'm saying this now, but I regret not saying this sooner. The reason I honestly didn't see you earlier when you were sick was because... well I suspected that you had a crush on Tae, sure, but a part of me was hoping it wasn't true and that you'd possibly... I dunno... like me."

My eyes widen at his statement. "I didn't know you felt that way, Jiminie. How long?"

"A few weeks before that all started, actually," Jimin confesses, his cheeks dusted with pink. "I was planning to confess to you a bit later, but then... yeah."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice," I say, with true genuine regret. I wish I looked Jimin's way instead of Taehyung's. Perhaps I wouldn't have spent all of that time letting petals fly from my parted lips had I simply looked at the adorable boy.

"It's okay," Jimin says softly. "It's too late now."

He looks down, knowing he has said all he needs to. My eyes are soft, and I hesitantly reach across the table for his sweater-paw hand, holding it in mine. He looks at me, his gaze questioning and lips parted in surprise."

I grin. "It isn't too late until I say it is.