Hanahaki - BTS Fanfic #Wattys2017

You're So Annoying

Months had passed since I was 'diagnosed' with the disease. I found myself throwing up every night, petals littering my bathroom floor. I found myself embracing Taehyung more, becoming clingy and attached to him. I sensed him getting tense and uncomfortable, but it morphed more so into annoyance with time.

But I couldn't stop. I was addicted to the drug that was his presence, always needing to be near him. I'd tag along with him and the boys, and I'd sit next to him. Just as I usually did since we were best friends. But perhaps it was the cautiousness to doing it, and how tense I felt around him. Perhaps it was my blushing cheeks or racing heart that made these simple actions change drastically. That changed the aura between me and Kim Taehyung

The boys and I were all having a group dinner, and I sat next to Taehyung, as always. He shifted, and I noticed his jaw clench, but when Yoongi sat on the other side of me, I knew it was too late to change seats. Besides, what would I do? Just get up from the seat deliberately until someone else occupied it? The others would know immediately what was going on.

Hoseok smiles over to me. "Gihan-ah, you mentioned something about wanting to major in art for your next semester. How come?"

"Taetae more or less convinced me," I confess with a smile, quirking a brow to the boy mentioned. "Remember when we were younger, Tae? And we'd exchange drawings and such in the middle of class?"

"Hm? Yeah," he says bluntly, as though he was bored.

I felt awkward and unwanted, but ignored it, simply staying silent.

The waitress comes to the table and immediately takes our orders.

"Two Sprites," I say, turning to Taehyung. "That's what you want, right? It's what you always order."

Taehyung grits his teeth, his brows furrow, and his fists are balled up and clenched under the table, which I eye carefully. He doesn't look me in the eye. In fact, he hasn't looked me in the eye this entire day. Perhaps he notices my stare because he fishes his phone from his pocket and simply plays games, giving the waitress a grunt in response.

Okay, Gihan, perhaps you should simply shut up now.

The waitress coughs awkwardly and simply writes down the order, giving us time to look over our menus. The other boys look over, discussing what they should get. I decide not to order for Taehyung this time, even though I've done it several times before, and I know he'll get the baby-back ribs with steamed broccoli on the side.

The waitress comes by to get our orders, and when it's Tae's turn, he's simply quiet.

"Uh... Taehyung? Aren't you going to make your order?" Jungkook whispers to him. Taehyung doesn't respond.

"Should I come back when you're ready?" the waitress asks politely.

Taehyung doesn't answer.

"Tae, are you okay?" I murmur to him, hoping that he answers.

"No," he snaps, turning to me. His teeth are gritted together, and his. "I'm not okay."

I flinch as though he slapped me, though he simply hissed a few words to me. "O-Oh, well what's wro-"

"What's wrong is that you're acting like a clingy, lovesick school girl who won't leave me alone," Taehyung seethes, making everyone at the table deadly quiet. They stare blankly to the boy, wondering what brought this up.

"I-I'm sorry, Tae, I-"

"Don't call me that," Taehyung interrupts. "I know about your little crush on me, you're not exactly subtle. But you need to get over the fact I don't- won't- will never, feel the same way about you. It's exhausting having to put up with you! You're so annoying. Haven't you heard of something called space? You're too much. I'm not your boyfriend, and I'm not even sure if I want to be your friend anymore."

"T-Taehyung-ah," I whimper, shaking.

I'm annoying him.

I'm too much.

It's exhausting for him to put up with.

He will never feel the same way about me.

I'm not exactly subtle.

Haven't I heard of something called space?

I'm clingy lovesick school girl who won't leave him alone.

He doesn't want to be so much as friends with me anymore.

The boys around us are all silent, unsure what to do. The waitress is alarmed by his outburst, and I feel tears leaking from the corners of my eyes, but even worse. I feel the petals rising from my throat. I raise my hand to my mouth as a precaution and turn to Yoongi.

"Yoongi, please move out of the way," I say quietly.

"Gihan-" Yoongi starts.

"Move."

He gets up from his seat, and everyone is completely silent. It was deafening. I scramble out of the seat, but before I leave to go to the restroom, I look back at Taehyung, who wasn't even looking at me. His chest was rising and falling ever so slowly, and his face was pink. I didn't know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

"I'm sorry for bothering you," I say quietly, ducking my head and running to the bathroom as I push past the gawking waitress. I didn't want their pity, but I'll leave them alone to have a much better time without me. No one stops me or looks for me.

After I've made a small pile of flowers in the bathroom stall, I leave the restaurant. Dammit, they were my ride.

I drag my feet, walking around the city. My hands shoved in my pockets and tears staining my cheeks. I felt so fragile, as though I was made of porcelain. Still, I found myself at a bus stop, and I fished some bills and spare change once I boarded the bus.

I was holding on tightly to my stomach, sitting down and staring blankly out of the window. People blurred past, as well as buildings and small insignificant things. I found the petals rising again, and coughed a few out.

I watched as six small, blush pink petals floated onto the seat, accompanied with a tiny blossom. I suppose I'll leave this as a sickening present.

I just lost my best friend.

It doesn't feel real. After years of friendship, it all came down within a minute. All of it crashed into rubble and debris that lay at my feet, and there was nothing my pathetic self could do.

It felt like I couldn't breathe, and it was getting harder and harder to choke down the petals. Thankfully, I was at my stop, and I ran out of the bus, running as far as I could before collapsing to the floor, my knees more than likely getting scraped against the hard concrete.

Coughing it all out, the petals tumbled from my lips and to the ground, scattering before me for a brief second before being picked up by the wind, the gentle breeze stealing the evidence of the internal torture I was experiencing.