The Day I first Met You...

Chapter 13.

Jasmine's POV.

Soundcheck was great. Demi sang Catch me and Beleive in me and answered some questions with her assistant Natalie. She was just so easy going and open on stage and that's what makes me a fan above all else. Her music is amazing, her story inspiring, she's hella beautiful but its the fact that she cares about us little guys. She often says she'd be nothing without her Lovatics and you can tell she means it - especially when she's just on stage having the most banter even though she has hundreds of awe-filled eyes just looking up at her.

Throughout soundcheck I still felt like she kept looking at me - was that even possible? It was like she was directing some of her answers right at me, like her lyrics she was pouring out so beautifully were beng sung right at me, right into my heart. In the end I shrugged it off, Im sure every fan here felt that way, and it was an amazing feeling alright.

Once Demi had left the stage at the end of soundcheck we were all ushered out into a large conference room for the meet and greet, we had about 20mins to wait but people immediately started to form a queue,it was snaking all around the walls of the room so I went and joined where I could, sliding down the wall and sitting on the ground in my spot. I was about 2 thirds back in the queue so I knew I would have some time to wait. I pulled my ipad out of my bag and immediately loaded up twitter and tumblr  (thank god for free Wifi at this place!) I had a ton of DMs on twitter from Paul and Leah but before I could even think about those I noticed that i had an inbox message on tumblr. I held my breath and closed my eyes as I clicked on it, almost dreading to see what my anonymous 'D' had said in response to my bold question. I peeked my eyes open and began to read.

"You want to know this lady's secret Identity then? Well if I told you I'd have to kill you... HA! Not really. Getting to know you a little better and more privately sounds amazing. Not just now though, all in due course, at the perfect serendipitous time :) Go enjoy your Demi 'so bloody sexy' Lovato experience, try keep your panties on and maybe later you will find a little message from me and we can begin our further acquaintance from there... Dxo"

My eyes near popped out of my head as I read this message at least 4 or 5 times. First of all it was confirmed 'D' was indeed female (thank god) and second she was definately flirting... right? AM I RIGHT? I felt like jumping up and busting out my best happy dance all over this room but I contained myself and decided to play it cool in my response.

"Sounds great, can't wait to experience said serendipitous moment... until then xox p.s. can't make any panty related promises, damn Lovato brings out the naughty in me ;)"

I closed down tumblr and was about to send a message to Paul on twitter when my skype began to ring. When I saw it was my sister Erica though, my stomach dropped, the happy feeling quickly dissapeared and was replaced with a real sinking feeling of dread. I watched the screen as I let it ring out, I didnt want to lose my space and I knew this wasn't going to be a public kind of conversation. 

We left things on a bit of a sour note, she was still a little hurt and mad that I chose here instead of Aus with her and Ricky, and since I left I hadn't been in contact with her. I'd been emailing with Ricky now and again but apart from that Id just been enjoying my own space. Erica's face popped up on my screen as skype began to ring again. I plugged my headphones into the iPad and lifted my bag to walk out into the corridor - hopefully if I was quick enough I'd at least make it back to be at the end of the line.

"Hey Erica, this is kind of a bad time, can I call you back later?"

"Oh that's just lovely Jasmine, just fucking typical..."

Her mood and sharp response startled me.

"What do you mean Erica? Whats wrong?"

"Whats wrong? Seriously? Are you having a fucking laugh? You announce at mums funeral that you're leaving for the other side of the bloody world, you pack up your stuff and ask a friend to drive you to the airport, you are gone what, a week now and I dont even get a 'yeah im here and still alive' call or text, AND everytime I try to ring you it goes straight to voicemail."

"Wow, look im sorry Erica, I know you are concerned for me but really im okay, it's just -"

"CONCERNED FOR YOU? Jasmine I've had fucking enough of you, you know that? For the past 5 years ive been putting up with your shit. Acting out and being so bloody selfish, putting mum through having to look after you during those times, putting us all under the stress of always having to try and second guess where you were going, what you were doing, if you were slipping back again. Surely you're old enough now to just grow up and have a bit of responsibility about you. Clearly not though, you think running off on your own again and getting up to god knows what in a whole new country is the best way to cope? Well fuck you Jasmine."

I was speechless but as tears filled my eyes I tried to find something to say.

"Erica I... I... Do you really think that about me?" was all I could muster as it felt like a knife had just been driven into my heart.

"You bet it is Jasmine. You make me sick. I take Ricky in over here, and you don't even offer to help, or agree to be here this summer to help get him settled in. You know he loves you, damn idolises you god knows why, and you can't even be there for him. I always doubted you really loved this family or whether you just had so much going on in that messed up psycho head of yours that you didnt care about anything else. Well Jasmine youve certainly confirmed it all now."

She went to hang up but then added one more twist to the knife.

"You are no longer my sister, you are dead to me... and I wish you really were. Should be you buried in that coffin not mum."

She hadn't hung up but must have just walked away from her computer, as all I was left with was the view of an empty room. I ran to the nearest toilets and locked myself in a cubicle. Sitting on the toilet lid I just stared at the screen willing Erica to come back, to take it all back. I must have sat there 10 mins before the line went dead and Skype ended the call.

For a brief minute I was numb, I couldnt compute what had just happened, but then as if a tidal wave crashed over me all the feelings ive been repressing just flooded back. I began to sob, loud and uncontrolable as all my old demons began to creep their way back into the lonliness in my head. I couldnt stop my brain replaying what Erica had said over and over in my ears, and then those words started mixing with all the others from before. The negative taunts, the tempting suggestions... I suddenly remembered the words of my therapist from 2 years ago;

"Jasmine when you battle with the things you do its like being trapped in a small room with 20 other people, you can't move or speak or think without one of them commenting in some way. But Jasmine those 20 other people aren't your friends and you have to find a way to get them out of that room before they start to convince you they can help, and then turn on you. You need to open the windows and let some of those feelings outside, the longer you hold them in the worse it will be when those people force them out of you."

I finally understood what she meant but it was too late to open the windows, the 'other people' were already kicking the shit out of me. I pulled my knees up to my chin and cried hard into them.

__________________________

A/N:

Hey guys, its update time again!!! Thank you for the comments previously and getting the reads on this book to over 1k. I know its nothing in comparison to some on here but it means SO MUCH.

So, I know this chapter took a little bit of a sad turn but its important for the story and for Jasmines character, you'll find out more about her past very soon. Also ive been in a dark place myself lately and  sometimes you cant help but to write what you know.

Keep reading im gonna update again today hopefully. And check out my side project too. Im doing  one-shots over there when I have an iea I wanna get out but wont fit into this story and ill also write on request aswell. So drop me a comment on msg if you want anything written!

Stay strong lovely people.

xox