The Day I first Met You...

Chapter 15.

Jasmines POV.

I stood at the sink and looked in the mirror. What had happened...? I felt so completely overwhelmed by everything and it was so scary. My hand instinctively went to the bottle of pills in my bag. All I could think about was swallowing a handful of pills and washing them down with the small bottle of vodka I'd had in my bag since the airport. I didnt want to feel anything any more. I immediately felt a huge pang of guilt though, Marissa had said Demi really wanted to see me again, that she wanted to talk to me. What kind of impression would I make if I was completely out of it when she tried talking to me? Maybe if I just took a couple of pills to give me that mind-erasing feeling, like I was floating above everything seeing but not feeling. As I went to lift the bottle out of my bag I heard Marissa speak as she opened the door,

"We gotta take our seats Jasmine, are you ready?" She called into the bathroom.
"Coming now, thanks" Fuck, i thought, as I lifted my bag and walked out.

***

The concert began and I awkwardly stood beside Marissa. I felt a lot of people looking our way as they noticed Marissa standing in the reserved section with Max close by. I began to get so paranoid, im sure they were all wondering who the hell I am and why I was there. Demi began with a lot of her more upbeat songs and I started to relax a little, especially as Marissa grabbed my hand and made me dance along with her. I could see why Demi loved her so much she very quickly had me smiling and singing with her just letting go and enjoying the show just like I always dreamed I would. I was finally having some fun. About half way through the show Demi announced she was gonna bring out some guests to help her sing the next few songs. First Chord Overstreet from Glee apeared to play on 'Made in the USA', the audience went crazy for it - or at least I thought I'd heard crazy until Nick Jonas walked out to join Demi. I literally thought id go deaf with the noise from all the girls in the arena screaming!
"You can scream too if you want, I wont judge!" Marissa leant in and said to me with a funny cheeky look on her face.
"Ahh... no. Nick Jonas isn't really my type..." I said awkwardly.
She nudged me with her hip giggling and put her arm around me so we could sway along and sing to the new version of 'Here we go again'. I loved it.

After this Demi took a seat behind her massive grand piano. She began to talk to the crowd about how her next song meant a lot to her. I felt MArissa's hand in mine again.
"So this song talks about strength... something I know a lot of people in this room, including me, often feel like they don't have. When we battle what we do every day sometimes it can feel like we are the weakest we've ever been. When our personal lives are plagued with mental illnesses, thoughts of suicide and self-harm, when we feel we have no-one and turn to other methods to cope alone, disordered eating, using pills and alcohol to numb ourselves out - that's when, if nothing else, music can save us. Music can feel for us when we are too scared to feel it ourselves. I urge every one of you to get help and to reach out, but in those small terrifying moments when we can't cope, please please put on my music so I can be there to comfort you and let you know its all gonna get better. This next performace is for two special warriors of mine. One I met earlier in meet and greet and one I met earlier in the week. Im sure you know who you are."

I immediately wondered if she was talking about me, and the reassuring squeeze of my hand kind of confirmed my suspicions. I let go of Marissa and just stood still. I listened to everyone around me sing along at the top of their lungs to the song. It was the first time in the concert I hadnt sung along, I couldn't sing along. I was no warrior. I was not strong. This song was for people who had overcome. That wasnt me at all. I felt Marissa lean into me again,
"Are you okay honey?" She had a worried tone to her voice. I threw on my best smile and turned to her.
"Yeah I'm great! You were right being here has made me feel completely better thank you!" I was perhaps a little too over enthusiastic in what I said but I just had to cover it all up.
I noticed Marissa looking around at all the emotional girls singig their hearts out and then at me standing cooly beside her no emotion at all. I began to wonder what she'd maybe said to Demi after the bathroom and began to feel paranoid again.

I was glad when the song ended and I heard the familiar chords of 'Don't forget' playing as Demi walked to the front of the stage beginning to rock out like she used to. It was fun to watch and I began to loosen up and sing along again. Then the next song nearly made my eyes fall out of my head. 'Got Dynamite' was another of Demi's older rockier songs but when she sung it this time it was all pure sex! She was shaking her hips and  flipping her hair, grinding on her backing singers and body rolling to the ground. I cheered and screamed along with the crowd as I watched her dance.
"So this you'll scream for then?" Marissa shouted over the music to me.
I blushed immediately, omg I was right beside her best friend.
"I uhh... yeah I mean she's an excellent singer and I, um... I really love this song."
"Excellent singer?" Marissa giggled and nudged me again, "Sure okay, good dance moves to?"
I knew I was caught out.
"Ahhhh, shut up Marissa!" I laughed too, "What do you expect have you seen the floor show going on up there?!"
"Sorry I missed it I was too busy checking if you were drooling or not."
We both burst out laughing at that comment and stayed in that mood right through til the end of the concert. 'Neon Lights' played at we danced like absolute crazy people jumping around the little reserved area as the bass pounded and the lights flashed. When the song ended Demi thanked her band and walked off stage. The lights stayed dim and the music continued so I figured she'd come out do do another song as her encore/finale.

Isn't it funny how even just the few opening notes of a song can immediately make feelings and memories come flooding back to you in an instant? As the opening notes of 'Skysrcaper' began to ring out I felt a lump immediately rise to my throat and my whole body felt weak. Different memories played into my mind like a flick book of my past 2-3 years. The most recent memory of that song stuck though... the night of my mum's fineral, sitting on the steps watching the sunset. My family, my sister who had just... disowned me? Ricky's face was then all I could see, standing on the steps looking at me when he'd overheard me talking about leaving. Before I knew it I was sobbing and clutching onto Marissa's arm. She pulled me into a tight hug and sang softly along with the music as she held me.
"MArissa, this song, I can't... I..."
"Shhhh," She responded, "Don't talk, remember what I said, just listen to everyone singing, let the music fill you and just let it all go."

# "As the smoke clears I awaken and untangle you fom me, would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed, all my windows still are broken but im standing on my feet." #

I began to sing along, quietly at first but then I pulled out of the hug and turned to face the stage again, holding on to Marissa still I began to sing as loud as I could along with my idol. Not caring how I looked or if I was still crying I just let go to the music and closed my eyes.

____________________

Hey guys, really glad you all liked the last chapter so much, I hope this one is as well recieved. 
I had a really busy weekend so kinda fell outta the loop a little with Demi updates etc, but this whole 'twitter follow' drama is annoying me anyway.

I have another chapter (maybe 2!) queued ready to update later/tomorrow if you all like this one okay. And I might write another one-shot/drabble on my other work - although noone is requesting :(

Please comment and vote!!

Love to you all munchkins:)

xox