As Time Goes By

Odion 112

I was missing home... don't get me wrong, I loved it here but I was miserable; I missed my dads, I missed my uncles and aunts, I missed Maseo..... I just missed being me. Since the incident I haven't felt like myself, I hide behind jokes and laughs but I wasn't happy; whenever I was alone I cried, there were times when I thought about doing it again just ending it all and even though I always managed to talk myself out of it I couldn't deny that the feelings were still there..... The only people who seemed to notice were Darion, Xavier and on the rare occasion when we talked on the phone Maseo noticed; he said he could hear it in my voice that something was wrong. Hopefully this camp or whatever the fuck it was could help but for now I just wanted to go home with my brothers and cousins, as we sailed up to Saint Trinity Island I noticed JD, Jayvion, Julio and Cortez all standing on the beach throwing something at first I thought it was rocks but then I realized it was ninja stars; what the fuck was up with Julio and them damn ninja stars? Once everybody had got settled back in I decided to go talk to my youngest brother since me and him haven't really had the chance to get to know each other yet.

"What are y'all pussies doing?" I asked standing off to the side so I didn't get hit with a ninja star, I was already in a horrible mood so the last thing I needed was something to piss me off even further.

"Teaching these niggas how to throw ninja stars.... I keep telling them that the need to aim higher and not to grip it so tightly when they release but they don't seem to understand English. Look it's all in the wrist...." Julio said throwing three ninja stars faster than I could blink and the all hit a tree in an almost perfect line. "Let me show you...." Julio said walking over to JD and I noticed something..... 99.9% of people would've missed it because it happened so fast but there was a look that passed between them when Julio stood next to him; maybe I was trippin before I could watch them a little more closer Darion walked over to us.

"Odi, Jayvion let's take a walk....." Darion said and I rolled my eyes, I hated when he acted like he was the oldest but nonetheless we walked around the island until we came to a secluded spot away from everybody. Darion sat down on a fallen tree log and we followed suit. "So how was your little day away from us? JD, Julio and Cortez didn't give you a hard time did they?" Darion asked.

"Nah we just chilled and played basketball, raced around the island a few times.... it was pretty coo it just sucks that y'all took the keys to the jet-skis but all in all it was a good time, how was y'alls little trip?" Jayvion asked as he began skipping rocks across the water.

"I had a good time now I gotta figure out how I'm going to get all the stuff I bought back home. I usually don't buy a lot of stuff but..... hey sometimes you gotta treat yourself and your brothers to something nice." Darion said.

"I'm still having thoughts of suicide......" I said quietly. "It's like I can feel him, pushing against my willpower trying to get out. I don't know man.... it's just hard dealing with this alone." I said, Darion and Jayvion both hit me in the arms and I wanted to swing on both of them, Jayvion I could probably take with no problem Darion on the other hand would be an issue. "Stop hitting me...." I said rubbing my right arm since Darion hit hard and that arm hurt more.

"Nigga you are never alone.... you got me, Jayvion and I'm not going to name everyone who's in your corner so if you feel like you need to talk to somebody just do it because you know everybody would be ready to talk you off that cliff." Darion said.

"And you're not the only one going through this Odion..... I got issues I have to deal with too. We all need each other but what we really need is my go to distraction whenever I feel like I'm about to have an emotional switch." Jayvion said getting up and walking away.... a few minutes later he came back with a bag and a blanket, I sat there wondering what the fuck did this nigga have planned.