Papercut | Akutagawa Ryūnosuke; AR [✔]

16 → Final Results

I did all what I can for him to notice my worth and it was still not enough!

All those years that I've wasted pushing myself and half-killing Ira to near death. I couldn't ask for more but only for Dazai to praise me. I firmly believe that I am not weak and I deserve his appraisal. I accepted the offer of getting a different assistant in hopes that I will get stronger; strong enough for him to praise.

But no! It is my own assistant who got all the self-worth appraisals! My assistant, Mitsuya Ira, who is nothing but drama and self-pity, managed to climb up all the way to actually reach Dazai's standards. Her sole purpose is only to help me achieve my own dreams, not to help her to get there first before me.

I shouldn't be thinking this way about Ira, but... it's just not right. She does not deserve it the way I do. It is embarrassing to be overpowered by a woman.

A woman that I...

Nothing! Discard all of those thoughts now, self. Your hopes have been crushed and it is not an acceptable act.

Kenji was soon done with his exam and so does everyone else in the same room with us. Most likely that the people in the main building are done as well, so we went back there for further announcements. While we were on our back to the main training room, Ira came closer to me as always. I glared at her out of the thought that has been bothering me, which shocked her and just looked down on the floor.

She must have gotten the idea already.

As we all got back at the main building, Dazai collected all the folders from the teachers and handing them to Fukuzawa and Mori for them to total and rank.

"Your final grades and ranking will be given later afternoon," Mori spoke from the microphone, Fukuzawa standing next to him. "All students' names who are eligible for the Graduation Rites will also be posted today at the bulletin board. Wishing all the best for everyone!"

It was only about eleven in the morning, so we still have a few hours to stay before we get our grades and ranks. The only good thing about it is that we can go outside of campus while we wait for about two or three in the afternoon. I went to the courtyard again and sat on the same bench that I waited Ira on the other day.

Two days left, I thought to myself. I grabbed the choker from my pocket, fiddling my thumbs on the pendant. As much as possible, I didn't want to think further about harming the person who has stayed by my side whose purpose is to help me out. The one I have actually used to become stronger.

I decided to wait for the final results before fully jumping to that conclusion. Something about her is stopping me from continuing what I wanted to do against her; for stealing the spotlight that was supposed to be for me and mine alone.

As I was just starting to forget her for the meantime, my phone buzzed with a message coming from her. I wanted to ignore it for now, but later I just found myself viewing the message anyway.

[Mitsuya Ira]

Lunch out of campus? c:

I stared at the screen, going back and forth from the messaging tool to my home screen, so on and so forth. The combination of letters I kept rereading, unsure of what message should I compose for a reply. In the end, I ended up sending her the shortest reply I could ever send her.

No.