Read A Song

I Miss You - Miley Cyrus

Song : I Miss You
Singer : Miley Cyrus

It is an odd feeling when you find out that someone you loved has died. The first few seconds after finding this out, you're in shock. You don't feel happy, of course not, neither upset yet but just nothing. Empty. Numbness, I believe is the right word for it.

Then the realisation hits you all of a sudden. You mind then takes it all in and starts panicking. You break down into tears and throw a tantrum and whatnot. You scream and cry and then you're desperate to see that person because you don't quite believe that he's dead. He can't be, you'll think. This is all just some sick joke he's playing with you and you decide you'll kill him when you find him, laughing at you, not dead.

You rush to the hospital with everyone else beside you telling you it's alright, that all of this is probably just a misunderstanding. You wish to believe them, but you can't. You can't even listen to what they're saying. All you want right now is to be wrapped around in his arms telling you that he's okay.

But then you reach the hospital bed where the nurses told you he is. And there you see someone's body covered with a white sheet, clear indication that that person is dead. You go nearer, praying silently that it's not him. Be anybody but him. You lift the cloth and see that beautiful face that once made your heart skip and butterflies in your stomach and all that, is now still and pale. You hear others crying behind you. You call out his name hesitantly, hoping he'd wake up.

But when he doesn't, you break down and hysterically start weeping. You scream until your throat is burning. You feel the others around you, trying to calm you down. You don't, well, you can't. You're mentally unable to accept the fact that the one you loved, the one who you believed was your entire world is now gone. Gone, you know not where. All you know is that you'll never see him again, never see his beautiful smile, never hear his laugh or feel his arms around you ever again.

Finally, you exhaust yourself enough to let sleep take over. You dream of him, him holding you and comforting you, him telling you that he's here for you always. You don't eat that night, or the next morning. The entire day is spent in trying to remember your last moments with him, the last word he said to you, the last kiss he gave you and clutching onto the dress he gifted you on your birthday, the one he picked out himself.

And then comes the funeral. At first, you refuse to leave his bedroom, where you've been staying for the past few days. The very thought of him being ten feet underground gives your heart a pinch of pain. But then you realise that he would want you to attend it. Because he loved you. And as a person who loved him back even more immensely, you feel that it'd be wrong not to go.

So you dress up all in black, comb your hair after days and try to look decent. Why, you do not know. But if he'd be there, in the form of a spirit or whatever, he'd like to see you decent. He'd be there somehow, you believe.

Before leaving for the funeral, you promise yourself not to cry. He hated when you cried.

But as soon as you see the box being lowered further into the ground, you're unable to keep the tears at bay. Without any warning, they come pouring down. Your family is there to support you, they always have been, but right now, you need something that they just can't give. You need him.

When it's over, you don't know where to go. Home? But home cannot exist without him. Work? But you'll be messing up everything because he won't call you every hour to ask when you were coming home. Friends? But he was your best friend.

So you spend the next few months in a daze, not knowing what to do, where to go or how to live. You family and friends try to cheer you up by supplying you with your favourite dishes, chocolates and movies. You try to plaster up a fake smile for them, but they see through it. Anyone can.

But on one day, a realisation hits. Would he want to see you waste away your whole life because of him? Would he like to see you crying and upset all the time?

Would he not be happy when you are happy as well?

From that day onwards, you move on. You let go. You accept the fact that this is life, and that life is temporary. What has happened has happened. Nothing can change that. From then on, you work hard. You spend time with family and friends, knowing that they care about you just as much as he did. That you love them just as much you loved him.

You still haven't forgotten him. You can't even if you want to. But yes, your memories of him are fading away. You now can't remember how he smelled, or how shaggy his hair was. What shade of brown his eyes were or the sound of his laugh.

But you still miss him, you always will.

Not quite sure about this one. Is too...I don't know, saddening?

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