N.O

Chapter 1

That dream, I have it every year. A black room with small white lights on the ceiling and mirrors surrounding me. There's no door for me to get out, but that's okay, because whenever I'm here I'm free. Away from the cruelty, away from the hunger pains, away from the world. If I was to die here without food or water, it'd be happiness, dying with the soft music in the background while letting it take control of my arms and legs, something I was forbidden to do.

But it was different this time because I didn't feel free. Instead I felt fear.

I uncovered my face and tried to look in the mirror, but there was a snake next to me, bareing it's fangs. I took some steps back as it slithered closer to me. Reaching a certain distance away from it, it grew black, inky, scrawny legs from its sides and grew bigger and bigger until it wasn't even a snake anymore.

I shot up while gasping for air, still believing that I was in the dream while hearing that awful ringing in my ear. Realizing that it was reality, I rested my head in my hands to calm myself and closed my eyes.

It's just a dream, I thought to myself. Just a dream.

I moved my legs away from the covers and sat on the edge of my bed as I looked at myself in the mirror. Counting the tally marks that were made on it, I shamed myself for being this age. Today was the one-hundred-seventeenth day of the year. My birthday.

If I add one more tally it'll be for tomorrow, which is the Attending Ceremony. The day where I leave my home for the first time. Leave my mother to fend for herself. Leave my little sister to learn things on her own. I won't see them for five years, and the worst part is I can't do anything about it.

Getting up from my bed, I moved the small curtains away from the window and looked outside. There's a tree that sits several yards away from my window and today that tree and the sun did a magnificent job on trying to manipulate me. The bright sun gleamed down onto the grass and shimmered through the tree's leaves and glistened on the morning dew dressing the grass. It was so beautiful it could've been a painting.

It tried to tell me that today would be beautiful, but I know better. Today was going to be devastating. Today isn't just my birthday, today is also the Testing Day. The day where I find out what part of my Section suits me best. I honestly don't really know what branch would suit me considering the fact that I never thought about defending other people besides my mother and sister, and quite frankly, I think I'd be bad at it.

"Happy Birthday!" shouted my five-year-old sister, startling me back to my senses.

I put my hand over my chest and purposely fell to the floor while making fake painful sounds. "Oh no! Yeonhwa, you killed me!"

I kept playing dead as she shook me while giggling. "That's not going to work this time."

I didn't move or say anything.

"Big Brother?"

Will she believe me this time?

"No, Big Brother, I'm sorry!" She kissed my cheek, and as if it magically brought me back to life, I grabbed her and dragged her down next to me on the floor as she squealed, "You scared me."

"Well, you scared me."

After a little while of playing and laughing, I said, "Thank you," as I stood up and helped Yeonhwa to her feet.

"What for?" she asked while looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

"For wishing me a happy birthday."

"No problem."

I chuckled at her cheekiness.

As she stood, I noticed all the wrinkles that was made on her worn-out, gray dress.

"Oh, Yeonhwa, I'm sorry. I ruined your beautiful gown."

"It's okay, Boyeon. I don't even like wearing dresses anyway," she said as I lifted her up onto my bed to help get rid of the creases.

She was right about dresses. My little sister would rather be dead than wear a dress unless it's for a special occasion, like today (though I'd hardly call it a special occasion).

Yeonhwa was quite the tomboy. One time it rained so much, she just had to roll in the mud like a pig. I was reluctant at first, but she persuaded me to play with her. Mother was a bit mad when she saw that the both of us were covered with it from head-to-toe, but I could see through her eyes that she was glad to see us both smiling.

I smiled remembering that day as I straightened out her dress.

"Boyeon?"

"Yes, Little Girl?"

"Will you ever come back home after tomorrow?"

Reality kicked in once again after she asked that. My own sister won't have anyone to look up to or to play with. For the next five years of her life she won't have anyone.

I held her tightly. "I'll come back, Little Girl. I just won't be here for a long time."

Feeling her shoulders shake, I held her tighter. "Promise me you'll come back," she said between light sobs.

I let her go and looked straight into her eyes, wiping her tears away as I said, "I promise."

She then smiled and wrapped her tiny arms around me.

"I won't ever leave you by yourself after I come back. I can promise that too."

We both turned our heads to my bedroom door as we heard Mother clearing her throat. "It's almost time to leave."

I stood in silence as I kept my arms around my sister's tiny frame. After looking at my mother and remembering why I still cared for her, I knew that I was going to miss this child too.

"Okay," I said after what seemed like a century.

"Here's your white collared shirt and this is the smallest black suit coat I could find." She held them both out for me to take, but kept a slight grip on the coat. I understood why, though. The coat was my father's.

After getting the clothes she gave me, I thanked her and motioned for Yeonhwa to eat what we had left.

Pondering about what branch I'd be in, I closed my door and changed into the dress shirt what while the ring annoyingly continued in my ears. Would it be military? Police? Guardian?

Once I grabbed the coat Mother had handed me, I thought about the last time I saw him. After he died nothing was the same. Mother had become melancholy and became a bit more like a child leaving me to take care of almost everything, even Yeonhwa.

Now that I'm leaving, I won't see my family for so long. The two people who depend on me won't know what to do, and I won't be able to know how they're doing. Yeonhwa won't have someone to laugh with and Mother won't have anyone to depend on. They'll be lonely and I can't keep them company.

I sighed as I put on the coat and walked out to let them come with me. They'd have to wait for hours, but I wanted to be with my family every second before I leave and cherish every minute.

I want them with me. I just wish I could stay with them.