Wallflower? (Phan)

Denial

Beautiful:
pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically

It's 1am.
Everyone either went home, or passed out in the living room.

I'm on the porch, staring at the stars above me.

It's such a beautiful night.
I wish it was always this beautiful.
I had my head clear of everything.
Everything except one thing.
Phil.

He stayed in my mind.
Every thought​ was of him.

I liked him quite alot.

He's beautiful.

He's the sweetest.

He's caring.

He's charming.

He's in denial.

Well probably.

Flashback:

"Danny!!!"
"Come back here."

"You lied to me."

"No I did not Dan. I just don't feel the same way. I'm not into guys."

"So one second , you're kissing me and touching me. Then the next, you're acting as if we barely know each other. "

"You said we were practicing"

"You dumb idiot, guys don't kiss each other for the fuck of it. I like you."

"Well I don't."

"Fuck you"
"You let me believe you actually had feelings for me."

"Dan..."
"Im sorry"

"Don't ever speak to me."

"But Dan, you're my best friend."

"You were never mine."
"For the record Phil, I know you're gay. Don't deny it. My gaydar goes crazy when you're around"

"Shut up Dan. I'm not gay!"
"I'm straight, I'm not a faggot like you"

I gasped.
I never expected Phil to say that to me.
The look of regret flashed before his eyes.

"Dan i-i"

"No, you know what. Fuck you, I'm done with you. I never want to see you ever again."

I left.

End of flashback

We were 14 at the time.
Yes maybe I was a bit harsh.
We were young, we did stupid shit.
But he never fought for me.
After our fight, he stopped talking to me.
Not even a single hello.
I did tell him to stop.
But I though I meant something to him.
He sure did to me.

We're 18 now.

He's grown, I've grown.
Who knows if he's still pretended.
Well considering, he's upstairs with a girl right now. He probably is.
Or not?

Maybe he really is straight.
Who am I to judge ?

I lost him once, I don't want to lose him again.

Look at me again, I'm always the one trying with us.

But he's worth it.

He's beautiful