On The Edge Of Falling

Live, Laugh...Fight

            I hated him. I hated his smile. I hated his hair. The scent of his cologne, the way he talked, the way he walked. I hated the way he practically sprinted to his phone every time he heard it ring. All of the things that I used to find adorable, now completely annoyed me. But more than all of that, the thing that I hated the most? The fact that I didn't hate him. I hated myself. For letting him go, for not telling him the truth, and for not fighting harder.
            Zak should be with me. He knows it and I know it, but she got him. She won him over with her blonde hair, and sweet blue eyes. Her sweet and innocent nature that he found sexy, but made me want to hurl all over her new Chanel bag, Zak just bought for her. They went well with her new diamond necklace and earrings. Let's not forget the enormous amounts he would spend on their luxurious date nights. Lobster dinners and champagne wasn't cheap.
            I ignored it. I went on with my business and did my job. I completed the Haunted Museum orders, and all the other ridiculous chores he had me do. Pick up my dry cleaning, clean the pool, take Gracie for a walk. The list went on and on. It was as if he was punishing me for not being honest with him. Why did he care now? He had Lindsey, he didn't need me. Everyone looked at her like she was a saint. Like she was an absolute perfectly made robot who could do no wrong. Aaron, Billy, Jay, everyone thought she was amazing, but I saw right through her perfect contoured face and blonde extensions. There was something she was hiding. Something dark.
             I would be sitting on the couch with Gracie, watching old ghost adventures episodes, minding my own business, and she would disrupt my peace and try to strike up a conversation. Sorry, sweetheart, I'm not in to Justin Bieber. How Zak ever fell for someone like her completely baffled me. I tried telling myself that I hated her only because she had Zak, but that wasn't it. She was too nice to be real and I was going to figure out what she was keeping from him.
             I sat in the office, replying to Zak's email after email. All from his fans, which he would usually reply to himself, but lately he was far too shoved up Lindsey's ass to see the light of day. "Thank you, so much for supporting our show and being a wonderful fan. Love, Zak Bagans." I said, out loud as my fingers clicked against the keyboard. I sent the last email of the day and looked down at Gracie sitting beside me. Her leash was hanging out of her mouth and her soft whimpers told me it was time again for her daily stroll.
            As we made our way downstairs, I was met by Billy standing in the living room, chatting with Zak and Lindsey. Zak looked up and smiled. Not at me, but at Gracie trotting towards them. "Hey, you taking my girl out for her walk?" Zak asked, as he gently stroked behind her ear.
            "No, I just walk around with a leash around my neck because I'm trying to make a fashion statement." I said, sarcasm tainting my tongue. Billy bit his lip, keeping from laughing, as Zak scowled at me. Of course, Lindsey couldn't keep her obnoxious laughter at bay.
            "Oh, my god, Addy, you're so funny!" She cackled.
            "Yeah. Anyways, I suppose I'll have the night off after I'm done with our walk? Something that you could be doing. She is YOUR dog, ya know?"
             "Yeah, but I'm going to make Linds a dinner and then...well, there will be other stuff." Zak winked at Lindsey, as he slowly pulled her in for a kiss. I looked at Billy, making sure he could see my rolling eyes and puking gestures. He continued to hold back his laughter, but a slight giggle popped out and Zak gave him a harsh stare. "Do you have something you want to say, Bill?"
            "Nope, nothing at all. Hey, Addy, can I join you on your walk?" Billy asked, with an urgent smile.
            "Of course you can!" I smiled back. "Gracie, come here." Gracie ran to me and I hooked the leash onto her collar and we were on our way.
            I drove Gracie to her favorite park. It had a long dirt path and plenty of open grass to frolic in. The sun was just starting to set, presenting a beautiful shade of pink in the sky. The cool breeze against the warm air was making this the perfect evening for a walk. Billy walked close to my side and continued to glance at me. He could see the frustration marked on my face. "What's up with you?" Billy asked, nudging my arm with his elbow.
            "What do you mean?"
            "Why are you acting so angry?"
            "What are you talking about?"
            "Okay, so why do you keep answering my questions with questions?"
            "Fine, I hate him." I confessed, as Gracie and I found a perfect grassy spot. I sat down with my legs crossed and unhooked the leash. Letting Gracie run after the stick I just tossed in the air. Billy sat beside me and let out a laugh.
            "Man, how many times are we going to talk about you hating Zak?"
            "Well, I suppose for as long as I hate him."
            "We've been through this. You don't hate him, Addy. You love him and you don't have him. Which is the reason for all your hostility."
            "I hate that bitch too."
            "Lindsey?" Billy gasped, completely shocked that anyone could dislike someone like her. "What the hell did she do? Other than steal your man."
            "That's not the reason. There's something strange about her, Billy. I know she's hiding something."
            "You know, you're right. I over heard her talking to Aaron about teaming up with Darth Vader and ruling the world. Maybe, I can give Yoda a call and he can teach us the ways of the force."
            "Billy, I'm serious. Try to listen."
            "Do or do not, there is no try." Billy said, with his best Yoda impersonation. I gave him a stern look, trying my hardest not to laugh and encourage his behavior. "Okay, I'm sorry. What exactly do you think she's hiding?"
            "I don't know. It's just....don't you find it strange that they never fight? I mean, they've been going out for a month and not once have they fought."
            "It's a new relationship. They're still in that cutesy, lovable, 'nothing can bother us' phase."
             "This is different. She has a way about her that makes Zak treat her like royalty. Zakky baby, buy me this. Zakky baby, do this. Zakky, wear this. And he does it! Every time! Since when did he become such a pushover? Oh, and not to mention she never talks back. It's always, 'okay babe, whatever you say.' It's literally like Zak cooked her up in a fucking lab!"
            "Okay, Addy, calm down. Take some deep breaths." Billy said, as he rubbed my back. My face turned red with anger.
            "I'm telling you, Billy. She's bad."
            "Maybe, but Zak cares about her. What can you do?"
            "I'm going to spy on her, that's what I'm going to do." I returned the leash to Gracie's collar and started walking her back towards the car. With a deep sigh, Billy stood and followed.
             "Okay, Addy, you're officially starting to scare me."
            I laid awake in bed. The squishy ear plugs weren't even enough to drown out their loud grunts and moans. I usually just took my sleeping pills and passed out before I had to suffer the noise, but tonight I had some spying to do. So, I pushed through the agonizing sounds and waited. After several moments, the sounds had finally diminished. I forced myself awake, as my eyes were growing heavy. Minutes had passed and suddenly, I heard the quiet creak of Zak's bedroom door opening. The footsteps passed my door and I hopped out of bed. As I peaked my head out, I saw the back of Lindsey's head, as she crept downstairs.
            My strides were quiet, as I tiptoed towards the kitchen. I felt like an undercover detective, trying to get dirt on a criminal. Was it right to spy on someone? Maybe, not, but it sure felt good. I heard her quiet voice coming from the kitchen. I remained on the other side of the wall, staying out of sight, so I could listen in. "I know, baby. I miss you too. I told Zak I had a lot of errands to run tomorrow, so I'll be able to come over." My jaw dropped to the floor. This conniving little bitch was cheating on him. My suspicions were right all along. I knew she was trouble. "I find him so annoying sometimes, but not when he's swiping that credit card. I swear, that man is so blinded by his love for that bitch, that he will do anything to forget about her." Lindsey quietly laughed. I could feel the temperature in my body rising, as I tightly clinched my fists, ready to fight. "Don't worry, big Daddy. I just want to get some more out of him and then I'm yours for good." The kissy sounds through her phone were the final straw for me.
              Lindsey gasped, as I flipped the kitchen light on. She quickly turned, with wide eyes looking like a scared deer in the headlights. "Oh, my god, Addy. You scared me. I was just um...talking to my mom. She um..."
            "Seriously, don't even make a lame excuse. You are a stupid bitch and I will make sure Zak finds out everything." I scowled, as Lindsey wore her devilish smile.
            "Really, Addy? Do you honestly think Zak would believe anything you say? He cares about me. He treats me like a damn queen. He's not going to listen to a washed up, sorry excuse for an assistant, worthless piece of shit." I couldn't hold back any longer. At this point I didn't care if she ended up in a hole in the ground and I ended up in prison. I charged at her like a raging bull charges at a rodeo clown. The next thing I knew i was straddling her weak body on the cold tile floor. She repeatedly tried to slap me and pull my hair, like we were in a junior high scrap.
             "You obviously don't know who you're dealing with, bitch!" With one perfect swing, my fist hit her face. I felt her fixed nose crunch underneath my knuckles and watched as the blood splat to the floor.
             "Addilyn!!" Zak shouted, as he rushed into the kitchen and pulled my body off of hers. He tossed me aside and knelt beside her. Lindsey put on a good show, as she cried out in pain, holding her hand underneath her nose and letting it fill with her blood. "Holy shit, are you okay, baby?" Zak asked, as he brushed the hair from her face. "What the fuck is your problem, Addy?"
             "Zak, she is a lying cunt!"
             "She ran in here like a psycho and said that you should be with her. Then she just started hitting me!" Lindsey cried.
             "Are you fucking kidding me? Zak, she was the one..."
            "Shut up, Addilyn!" Zak shouted.
            "Zak, you have to believe me!"
            "No, you know what, I'm done! I thought we had both moved on, but evidently not!" Zak looked back at Lindsey and sat her down at the table. He retrieved a towel from the counter and wrapped it around some ice. "Get out of my house."
             "What?"
             "I want you out of my house! Go pack your shit and get the fuck out!"
             "Wha....where am I supposed to go?"
             "I don't give a shit where you go, Addilyn! Maybe, call your best friend Billy to come bail you out again!"
             "Zak..."
             "You're fired! Get the fuck out!"
             I let the tears fall right in front of him. I didn't care if they saw. I was tired of being strong in front of everyone. Lindsey was right about one thing. Zak was blinded. I walked up to my bedroom and packed what clothes I had. As I walked down stairs, I passed Gracie sitting on the couch, whining at me. I walked over to her, quietly. "I love you, Gracie. Take care of him, okay?" I cried, as Gracie licked my cheek.
             The cab pulled into Billy's driveway and I could hear music coming from the backyard. I rounded the house, dragging my suitcase along. I reached the fence and gave it a knock. Billy and Aaron stood up and turned their music down. As the wooden gate opened, Billy looked at me with heavy concern, as the tears still streamed down my face. "Oh, my god, Addy, what happened?" Billy pulled me into the backyard and wrapped his arms around me.
            "Can I move back in, please?"