On The Edge Of Falling

The Tables Have Turned

Zak couldn't seem to keep his legs from thrashing in his bed. The sound of his soft whimpers was causing Bacon to stir in the next bed over. It was well past 3 in the morning, and everyone was enjoying a peaceful slumber. That is, with the exception of Zak. He hadn't had a good nights sleep in months, and now it was proving even worse when he was around me. He just couldn't seem to keep the thoughts of being without me at bay.
Sweat beads rolled down his forehead and he gripped tightly onto the sheets. The temperature of the room was fine, but he felt as if it were one hundred degrees. Bacon couldn't take the sound of Zak's miserable groans any longer. As he sat up in bed, he reached for the lamp on the bedside table in between them, and flipped it on. "Bro, are you okay?" Bacon asked, as Zak shielded his eyes from the burning light.
"I'm fine. Turn the light off."
"You've been groaning and kicking for over an hour. What's your deal?"
"I was just having a bad dream, I guess."
"Well, calm down, would ya? I'm not going to be able to drive if I don't get sleep." Bacon scoffed, and flipped over in his bed, wrapping the comforter all the way up around his head. Zak sighed, and shut the lamp off, before he made his way to the living room. To his surprise, Billy was standing at the bar in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of cold water.
"Hey? What are you doing up?" Zak asked, as he sat at a stool in front of him. Billy shook his head. The bags under his eyes showed Zak that he hadn't had much sleep either.
"I don't know, honestly. I just couldn't seem to get comfortable. What about you?"
"Bad dreams." Zak sighed, as Billy slid a glass of water down the bar to him. Zak grasped it tightly and threw back a long gulp.
"What were you dreaming?"
"I can't share. It's too horrible."
"Come on, bro. Since when have you not been able to share something with me?" Billy shrugged. The kindness in Billy's eyes convinced Zak to confide in him.
"I dream about Addy, every night. They used to be good dreams, but ever since she left, they've become...nightmares." Zak took another cool sip, and wiped the dampness from his forehead. "We were in a boat, on the lake, and she fell into the water. I tried to jump after her, but I physically couldn't. So, I reached for her, and I could see her looking up at me, as she was sinking, but she didn't reach back. She just let herself drown, and all I could do was watch her go." Zak's voice cracked, as he held back the tears. Billy remained silent and took another swig of his water. "Do you have any idea what that means?"
"I really don't, man. Maybe, that she's..." Billy paused, and stopped himself from saying something far too hurtful for his friend to hear. "...Nevermind."
"No, Billy. Tell me. What does it mean?"
"Maybe, it's your mind telling you that you have to let her go?" Billy replied. Zak gently placed his empty glass back on the counter top. "Hey, man, I'm not a doctor. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I don't want you to give up on Addy. I think you guys would be amazing together, and I see how much you care about her." Billy rounded the counter top and sat himself down on the large couch in the living room. "Seriously, bro. Don't listen to me."
"Your theory sounds pretty accurate." Zak sighed. "But I just can't imagine letting her go like that. I need to keep reaching for her. Right?" Zak waited for Billy's response, but there was no answer. Just the sound of heavy breathing coming from the couch. Zak stood and smiled, as he saw Billy passed out. Finally, his restlessness had caught up with him. Zak turned to head back to his bedroom, but noticed the door to my room cracked open. Is this my moment to reach for her? I can't let her go. I can't let her drown.
With a moment of weakness, Zak quietly crept into the bedroom. I lay in bed, sleeping soundly. Zak felt like a mysterious vampire lurking in the shadows, as he watched me sleep. I'm such a creeper right now. Zak shrugged it off. He couldn't help himself, as he watched me sleep. Every logical thought had left his mind, and all he could focus on was touching me again. It had been so long, he was starting to forget what it felt like. The softness of my skin, the way the goosebumps would appear, as his fingertips made their way up my arm.
Zak lifted the sheets and climbed into bed with me. Still in a deep sleep, I shifted my body and rolled over. Now, facing him, Zak smiled at my soft moans, as I nestled back into a comfortable position. Zak brushed the thread of hair behind my ear and I managed to push a small smile in my sleep. Maybe, it was like that Snow White tale? She would wake up to the touch of my lips. Zak trembled, as he leaned into me. I felt it, his lips against mine. Before I could fully awake, I pulled him in. Moving perfectly with him, letting the kids grow stronger. As Zak pulled away, I smiled, causing Zak to let out a sigh of relief. "Addy..."
"Zak?" I moaned, softly. Suddenly, my eyes popped open, finally realizing what was happening. It wasn't just a dream. "Zak!" My shriek caused him to jump out of bed and I quickly followed his lead. "What the hell are you doing in here?" I shouted.
"Addy, calm down..." Zak said, quietly. Trying to avoid waking the others.
"No, I won't calm down! What the fuck do you think you're doing? Getting in bed with me and kissing me in my sleep? Are you that fucking desperate?"
"I'm sorry, Addy! I needed to..."
"I don't want to hear your sick excuses!" I yelled, as Billy and Aaron stormed in. Billy was rubbing his tired eyes, trying to get a good look at Zak. "Where were you?" I asked Billy.
"I'm sorry, I passed out on the couch. Bro, what are you doing?" Billy looked to Zak.
"Nothing, I..."
"I woke up to him kissing me!"
"You kissed me back!"
"I thought I was dreaming!"
"So, you can have me in your dreams, but not for real?" Zak yelled. Without a response, I walked to the bathroom and slammed the door. Zak tightly shut his eyes, as Aaron groaned and returned to his bedroom.
"You have to fix this." Billy said.
"No, fuck that! I'm done! If she can't forgive me for one fucking mistake, and she can't admit that she loves me too, then I'm letting her fucking drown!" Zak walked out, and slammed the door behind him. Hearing every word from the bathroom, I sat firmly on the side of the tub. Holding my heavy head in my hands, as I sobbed. I heard a soft knock at the door.
"Addy, can I come in?" Billy asked.
"No."
"Please? It's me, you can talk to me."
"No, Billy! Leave me alone!" I shouted. Billy bowed his head in disbelief. I had never turned down a comforting chat with him. "Just leave me alone." I whispered, as I climbed into the empty tub. I felt protected from everything, and everyone, as I curled up safely in the tub. This was a mistake. I should've never come here.
"Addy, wake up." Billy said. The sun had risen and everyone was packed and ready to get back on the road. Billy abruptly shook my shoulders, as I slept in the cold, hard bathtub. "Addy, wake up! It's time to go!"
"Leave me alone, Billy. Just leave me here. I'm too pathetic to be around you guys anyways. I'd just bring down the vibe." I groaned. Billy, having about enough of my self pitying behavior, growled and turned the cold water on. Suddenly, I shrieked in shock, as the icy cold water from the shower head hit my skin. The drops feeling like needles piercing through my flesh, causing me to quickly pull myself out of the tub. "Billy, what the hell?" I shouted, as I shivered on the bathroom floor.
"I'm sick and tired of you acting like you have nothing! You have friends! You have people who care about you and you have a lot to live for! So, here's what you're going to do, you're going to get dressed, and go work this shit out with Zak! He fucked up, okay? But he's driving himself crazy trying to fix it. The least you could do is hear him out!" Billy tossed a warm towel at me, and left me alone to figure out what I was going to do.
Maybe, the tough love Billy presented did the trick, because the next thing I knew, I was dressed, with a fresh coat of make up, and perfectly styled hair ready to find Zak and work everything out. I couldn't keep lying to myself. I knew that I loved Zak just as much as he loved me. What happened with Lindsey didn't matter anymore. Billy looked up from packing the bags in the RV, and smiled as he saw me walking towards them. "Well, look at you hot stuff." Billy laughed, as Bacons jaw dropped to the floor. "Hide your shame, Bacon." The guys laughed, as I climbed aboard to find Zak. He sat on the bed in the back room, once again, avoiding the outside noise by getting sucked in to social media. He looked up, as I cleared my throat.
"I'm really not in the mood, Addy."
"I'm not here to yell at you."
"I don't give a shit what you're here for. I really don't want to hear anything you have to say."
"Zak, I was going to..."
"I don't care! I tried fighting for you, but you obviously, don't give a shit about me, so I'm done. I'm not fighting anymore." Zak passed by me to leave the room, but I wasn't giving up that easy. I quickly grasped his arm and pulled him towards me.
"So, that's it? You're just going to dismiss me? You're not even giving me a chance to..."
"Now, you know how it feels." Zak ripped his arm from me and once again, I felt like my entire world was falling apart. How did I go from the one making the rules, to the pathetic one following? Zak stomped off the RV to retrieve the guys.
"What the fuck is everyone doing? Let's go!" Zak yelled, before he walked back to me in the bedroom. "I'd appreciate if you go somewhere else." Zak grunted. I wasted no time, pushing him out of the way to join Billy and Aaron on the couch.
"Damn, what the hell is his problem? I think I prefer his sad, pathetic mood better than him being a dick." Aaron sighed.
"I thought you were going to talk to him?" Billy asked.
"I tried. He wouldn't listen to me. I guess, I deserved it for the way I treated him before."
"Or maybe, it's because you yelled at him and embarrassed him in front of everyone last night. Damn, all the dude wanted was some loving." Aaron laughed. Billy slapped Aaron's chest, as he continued to rudely laugh. My overwhelming frustration pushed me to join Bacon up front.
"I'm so tired of this shit." Billy groaned.
"We gotta fix this because it's getting really damn annoying. Let's lock them in a room together. Force them to hash it out."
"That's not a bad idea." Billy smiled.
"Bro, I was joking."
"Seriously, this is what we'll do..."

*Sorry, this chapter sucks.*