Leeches ([Y/n] X Antisepticeye & Septiishu)

Burger Jizz

"What restaurant are we eating at?" [Y/n] questioned as she watched the San Diego buildings zoom pass. "In and out, cause they don't fuckin have those in Ireland." Jack responded. "Plus I've never tried it before so there's that." Signe chirped in. [Y/n] took a second to think

"I heard you can ask them to put secret sauce on your burger." [Y/n]s face scrunched up in disgust at her own words after reconsideration of her wording . "What the fuck secret sauce I think it's a secret seasoning," Jack scrunched his eyebrows with amusement. "Secrete sauce just sounds like someone just jizzed into-" Jack was cut off. "We've arrived at your stop." Our uber came to a harsh halt causing their body's to jolt forward in front of the burger place. She, being a white lady in her 50s had a clenched jaw and was disgusted by the conversation.

They climbed out of the car and into the California sun. The air felt dry but welcoming all at once as they made their way towards the fast food restaurant. [Y/n] could feel the light dancing along her skin in a tank top she brought and on parts of her leg just before they went in. A smile crept onto her face in the mixture of all these pleasant things.

"Could I have that with some secret sauce also?" Jack ordered his burger with a plastered smile. Both [Y/n] and Signes face shrunk and this request. The cashier lady didn't bother to correct him and punched in the orders.

The cashier read out their ticket and they grabbed their preferred fountain drink. After that, they found a booth. Jack and Signe sat on one side while [Y/n] sat on the other.

"So," [Y/n] began as she folded her ticket in her hand mindlessly, "how is it that you guys met?" She questioned. "Sorta the same way I met you; I messaged her on tumblr for drawing fanart of me. But with you you were sorta just-- I saw your username everywhere so I got curious." He explained with small hand gestures. [Y/n] giggled at the fact. "So basically I bothered you for so many years that you got fed up with it?" [Y/n] asked jokingly.

"That's not even the basics of-" he cut himself off. His jaw muscle clenched and he closed his eyes for a bit. Jack reached his hand to his eye and rubbed them. "Jack?" [Y/n] began to ask. He took a side glance to Signe who's eyes widened with fear but still tried to keep a calm composure.

"Jack, I think you need to go to the restroom to calm yourself down." Signe stated as she ushers him out of the seat. She kept her hands on her shoulder to guide him to the restroom as he shielded his eyes.

Jack stumbled into the bathroom as Signe kept watch outside so no one would enter. Jack, with his strength weak and a pounding headache lifted himself on the sink and shakily looked into the mirror.

"N... Not right now. P- please." Jack pleaded with his own reflection. When he stated back at his face his face was no longer his own. His eyes were jet black all the way around. His image seemed unstable in the mirror, as if the reflection itself was lagging and distorting like a video.

"I'm getting restless in here," his image scolded with his head jolting left to right, "things are starting to feel cramped; plus I just want to," Jack's legs suddenly found themselves with strength and power, but they too were no longer his own. "Stretch my legs." He threatened making Jack take shaky breaths. His heart rate quickened as he tried to think out what he can do.

A high pitched and distorted laugh rang out through Jack's head. "You're so pathetic.," Was the last words heard as the distortions faded.

Jack collapsed to the floor feeling nauseous. His stomach twisted and turned with each pound that punched his head. Pulling himself up, he found himself splashing the semi cold water on his face and wiping it dry with a heavy sigh.

"Sorry about that." Jack chuckled weakly as he and Signe filed back into the booth. "Yeah you better be, I had to carry back three trays of food back by myself." [Y/n] poked fun of but still had the underlying tone of suspicion. Or was it concern. Either way she tried to act as if she wasn't either.

"What's it like still living at your parents?" Jack asked with a smirk knowing it was a good thing to tease her with. "I dunno what's it like still living in the middle of fucking nowhere?" She rebutted with a confident smile. "Oooooooh!" Signe dissed along with [Y/n]. "Hey! That's a work in progress!!" He tried to defend himself. "So is mine!" She rebutted..

Her smile faded and she looked down at her food. "But in all seriousness, not that well? Maybe? I'm not sure. They haven't voiced their annoyance yet but you sure can feel it. And the whole online college course thing isn't really panning out well for me." [Y/n] sighed and looked passed Jack in thought. "I'm sure you'll get there eventually." Signes words of comfort felt empty as [Y/n] responded with a nod. "...unlike you guys and moving." [Y/n] added. "Fuck off [Y/n]." Jack rolled his eyes.

"You can always try to do YouTube again; at least now I can help out with it." Jack suggested and took a sip of his soda. "Yeah hold on a second while I revive my minecraft channel from when I was, what, 12?" [Y/n] laughed at the very thought. "Plus I can't believe you're encouraging me to be a leech." [Y/n] scoffed.

"Hey," Signe jumped in, "Don't make fun of leech culture, I'll have you know that it doesn't suck that much" Signe put on a sly smile as they all shook their heads at her terrible joke. "Just take me for example!" She laughed. "You're not a leech, if anything I'm the leech in this relationship cause I use you to keep my entire life together." Jack answered back to her self roast.

"Can we all just agree that we're all leeching off of each other?" Jack finally stated to end this endless roast of a conversation. "Yeah that seems about accurate." [Y/n] agreed.

Jack reached his burger up to his mouth and crunched down on it. After a few bites he felt a creamy substance intrude on what should have been a regular burger.

"Ewg!" Jack spat out the mouth full of burger in a napkin. Both Signe and [Y/n] looked concerned. "It is a secrete sauce-- I was wrong; it exists." He clarified himself and wiped his mouth. "Does it taste that bad?" [Y/n] giggled. "No it tastes delicious I just thought of jizz." Jack burst out in laughter after his own statement.

After awhile they began finishing up, the sun already was on the horizon. Different shades of orange and pinks colored the window of the fast food restaurant.

"We should head out soon," Signe stated after a long conversation between the three. Their food had already been eaten up hours ago. Sitting and almost reintroducing themselves as real humans instead of people on a screen was what they did. All of them had a smile on their face, but they knew the day was reaching its end.

A/N
See, this is what I was talking about not taking the titles seriously.