The Complexity of a Teenager

Chapter Four: The Lunch Date With Destiny

I was astonished to see that things were going all my way today. There was usually always something that jumps my nerves or annoys me real deep down. Although my normalities are that, it hasn't been like this all day. (Except for that wah-wah worm named Michael) which is a good thing because I'm always having a bad day, it's a good feeling to have a good day every once in a while. The last time I had a good day such as this one was last year, when Shelby Merryweather was in art communicasions class and she took a deep breath outside and a bug flew up her nose. Funniest single Damn thing I've ever seen. Or the time where my mom choked on a Brussel sprout. That sounds sadist like, I don't regret it. Instead of helping, I just sat in the corner trying not to piss myself from laughing so hard. It's honestly kind of fucked up to think about, but its whatever. I am a rather content person, but sometimes I'm deluded to my own thoughts. I don't prefer to express my feelings very much, but Alexander has me going crazy! I can't stop feeling so good! He has me in such a good mood, I feel bulletproof and ten feet tall. Now this is the part when I say something so clichè that you actually put your phone down in disgust, but I'm not going to do that, because it is rather old timey to do such a thing, plus its predictable. AWESTUPENDAMOONDOH isn't. My basic vocabulary is nowhere near grammatical. It's rather difficult to explain, it's so jumbled up and all the meanings can mean the same, it's like English, with a twist. In my fourth hour (right before lunch) I have history with Mr. Binns, he is definitely a dinosaur. I'm pretty sure he fought in one of the wars because every time we watch history documentaries he has to cover his ears and mumble "airplanes aren't real" to himself. Obviously he can't fly. It's kind of funny, but extremely fucked up, because of his condition, but at the same time he's a real Dick so I feel much better laughing at his problems. Does that make me a bad person? Hell yes it does! But I don't care, everyone has their personal thoughts on certain people that may be extremely fucked up. I guess he heard me before laugh, because he hates me, so much to the fact where he even moved me into a special desk right next to his. Now I'm close enough to hear him chew, which seems so loud that it could wake up a bear during hibernation. How did I not hear this when I was in my original seat? Plus I don't know if this is an old thing, but he really smells. Like really rancid, I know old people have a smell, as much as young and middle aged people, but this guy is like packing some garbage in his person or something. He smells like diesel, garbage, and old piss. It's rather disgusting, I feel bad for his wife. I wonder what she does to take the Smell away. Or maybe she dosent have a nose, like Voldemort. He's never been a really good teacher, he was kind of the teacher for those who were "middle" from the good straight "A" students and the bad "F and D" students. What typical stereotypes. I mean I am kind of good in school, I work hard, yet goof around with quirky puns filled with inside jokes that only I know. I guess I'm just the type to just oversee things that over people do, because I'm in my own little world. I kinda like keeping everything in secret, that way nobody can tell anyone how "crazy" I really am. I tend to be tedious about people, I am very discreet and rather empty. I do not like it when people question me, I don't like it when people judge me, I hate it when people look at me the way they look at the ground as they walk. I am sort of a judgemental person, and I sometimes look at things one sided. I guess I'm just the type who's a pacifist, yet always has a derogatory attitude. It's not my fault everyone in the world Is dissatisfying to me. I am just the type to just go out of my way to stay in the shadows, if you know what I mean. I figure if life lasts as long as they say it does then it's gonna be a forever of hate. But that's okay, because sometimes I prefer to hate then be forced to love someone I don't. Its mutiny, and a rather horrendous task to do for someone who is socially awkward and insufficient in friendships. It kind of makes me feel like I'm the missing link here at my high school. I don't mind it, the benefits are nice; you don't have to worry about drama if you don't have friends to have it. Hah. But even though that sounds FANFUCKINGTASTIC, there's more. You won't have to deal with your best friend liking the same dream boat as you, because if you have no friends you can like them in secret. Not to mention you can be able to keep your secrets to yourself. And nobody will ever know of what you've done. Its the bright side of being alone. Although there are cons to this.. You'll always feel lonely and lack a certain feeling that you can't explain, it's like you're empty inside. As if the one thing in your life that kept you going depleted forever, that kind of empty. You feel like you're disappearing. You envy those who have relationships and friendships, and become extremely bitter. I obviously can't wrap my head around everything currently. I'm at the point where the sun doesn't shine, the tears don't show, I set my soul ablaze. I finally isolated myself, completely. I kept thinking this way until Alex popped into my mind. I instantly had a change in attitude towards perspection. I was now at lunch. I always ate my food in a secluded place, I never liked it when people saw me. I felt like a pig when the normal watched. Their bright eyes staring at my dull, lifeless ones as I grumbly eat my ham sandwitch with cheese. I put on my headphones and went into my own world (I had a phone, my parents just never knew because I hid it from them). As I went through scrolling through my music playlist, from thug rap all the way down to old punk Rock. I was five minutes into my alternative indie section and I heard a weird upward thud in front of me, I didn't acknowledge it, then I heard the thud and I pretended to not hear it once more. Then there was a loud thud and I finally snapped, I threw my headphones off and screamed "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I looked up to my surprise it was Michael. I thought it was going to be another jock slug like Trevor McGuyver, a first string defense linemen for the varsity team. "Whatcha up to pudge?" He smirked in a friendly way. I raised an eyebrow, and gave him a weird look "Nothing much camel toe gargler" he noticed my approval to sit down. "I've began thinking, Mavis. I think we need to be friends.." as he was mumbling on about some 'good' reasons why he'd be an eligible canidate to take place as best friend in my life, I began wrapping up my headphones and putting all my stuff away. "Listen, Michael" I interrupted, "I would like to talk about this, but just another time, I have to go.." he looked at me as if I was lying "Where do you have to go? You don't need to go anywhere. The party is right here" I tried to take him seriously, but a little chuckle came out. "Michael, I'm leaving because I have a date" he cocked his head back so far it looked like he got whiplash, "a date? With who?" I smiled and took the opportunity and said "with Destiny." And I walked out of the lunch room.