𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚

•

"...and he suddenly knew that if she killed herself, he would die. Maybe not immediately, maybe not with the same blinding rush of pain, but it would happen. You couldn't live for very long without a heart."

~ Jodi Picoult

~

I hauled the top half of my body over the edge and swiftly caught her left arm. "What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled at her, struggling to carry the weight of her body.

"LET GO!" she screamed, shaking her head vigorously and kicking her legs out in protest.

My grip loosened slightly, as the tears in my eyes blurred my vision. "Stop struggling!" Her leg flailed, kicking the side of the building with full force as an attempt to break free.

"Mommy, look!" My attention quickly diverted from Maggie to the newly forming crowd below us.

It's that family of four I saw earlier.

"Oh my God!"

"Someone help them!"

"Call the police!"

I heard the voices of tens of people screaming for Maggie to be saved, my eyes widening at the intensity of the situation. I averted my attention back to Maggie, who was now biting and scratching my arm like some sort of animal.

God damn she's heavy.

I lifted her body over the edge back to the top of building and quickly pinned her down beneath me. "Are you insane?!" I yelled at her.

"Let me go! You have no right!" she struggled beneath me as I tried to hold her in place, the sound of sirens filling my ears.

"Maggie, please!" I begged her. Tears welled in my eyes as she continued to shake her head, her straggly red hair swiping me across the face.

"My life, MY CHOICE!" her voice echoed in my ear drums as something inside of me snapped. Seeing her like this, so angry, so broken and so irrational. I stared at her with full intensity until her limbs stopped thrashing and her head stopped violently shaking.

How can someone so intelligent, someone so strong and someone so beautiful be so broken?

I studied her features, the crinkles on her forehead, the fire burning in her eyes with such intensity, that my thoughts took me to the first time we met: October, 2013.

Her gorgeous scarlet hair cascaded down to her waist, freckles patterned her rosy cheeks and the breath-taking smile reaching her big blue eyes. Pearly white teeth. Perfectly curvy figure.

She was the epitome of perfection.

She still is the epitome of perfection.

"We can fix this! We can make this right again!" I tried to reason with her but she started sobbing uncontrollably. I loosened my grip on her and sat besides her whilst she continued bawling. I lifted her up from her lying position on the ground and pulled her into me, letting Maggie sob into my shirt.

"Why can't you just let me die?" she whispered, her eyes red and puffy from crying, and her throat scratchy from yelling. Something inside of me snapped as I covered my head in my hands and started bawling. "I love you so so much. Please don't leave, please don't leave me.. We can fix this, Maggs, I promise."

I begged her as she stared at me in astonishment.

"I don't have anyone. They're gone. They're better off without me," I slowly rocked her body and brushed the hair out of her face.