Stop Over [REVISING]

Eight

Terrified.

Lourica POV

"We broke up."

Matagal akong napatitig sa kanya bago nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magtanong.

"Why?" I mumbled. Ilang ulit akong tumikhim. Nanatili siyang nakaunan sa binti ko habang nakatitig sa akin.

"I fell out of love." Braison.. fell out of love.

"Why?" Is it really possible to fall out of love from a person you once dream of? In that case, I wonder if I could possibly abandon someone I once wished of becoming mine.

Sinundan ko ito ng tingin ng marahan siyang bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga sa binti ko. Ang mata niyang nanatiling nakatanaw sa ibang mga istudyante na nandirito.

His eyes wasn't confuse.. rather displays sadness and hurt. He's affected, but how? He just said that he fell out of love. That wasn't the eyes that fell out of love.

"Lourica," marahan na banggit niya. Nanatili ang tingin ko dito at hindi ako nagsalita. "Do you ever have someone or something you really want to?" I nodded.

".. but needed to give them up not because you want to, but because it's now draining you?" I understand. "I.. I don't really want to give her up, but this.. she.. She's too much. And then one day, I just woke up, and all the sparks, butterflies, glows are gone." he mumbled, full of something I cannot explain. His emotions are all over the place.

He just woke up and don't feel the same before.

"Do.. Do you hate me?" he asked out of the sudden. Tumingin ako sa kawalan, do.. I hate him? Do I really hate this side of him? Being able to unlove a person out of a sudden? It's terrifying, but..

"Why would I hate you?" I asked. "I'm confuse. Is love really that scary?"

"Sometimes. That's why you just gotta find a person you're willing to risk everything for." he chuckles.

"Braison? Can I ask something?" lumingon siya sa akin at tumango. "Why did you feel it that way? I mean, when did it start?" hindi siya umimik.

Naramdaman ko ang malamig na ihip ng hangin at bahagyang paggalaw ng dahon sa puno kung saan kami nakapwesto. It feels, nostalgic. Him, and me, just sitting next to each other.

Rinig mula sa kinauupuan namin ang ingay ng mga istudyanteng may kanya kanyang pinagkakaabalahan.

Dumako ang tingin ko kay Braison. Mula sa buhok niyang tinatangay ng hangin, sa mata nitong malayo ang tingin, sa polo niyang maayos ang pagkakasuot. Little did I know, there's a huge burden he's hiding on his broad shoulders.

"I caught her, cheating on me." he sigh. "and it's the third time."

I was caught on guard. I couldn't react. I can't seem to find a word that could lighten the situation, and it feels like both our minds wonder as time passes by.  There's no words, no actions, just our breathe in sync - until the bell rang.

I'm not planning on going back on my classes after what I heard but here I am, walking pass the corridor. He insisted na pumasok ako kasi last class ko naman na. Naiwan siya sa pwesto namin, he even smiled at me at kumaway ng makalayo ako.

Braison caught her, for the third time. third time, and it means she cheated thrice. And that became the trigger why Braison fell out of love. But I know deep inside, he's hurt. He's confuse about how and why everything with her went wrong. He's contemplating about the things he never done. Braison is hurting.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko ng maramdaman ko ang bahagyang paghapdi nun. Why am I hurting? Why do I feel like vomiting? I could feel it in my stomach. Braison is in pain.. Why am I feeling it too?

Napatingin ako sa bintana ng biglang bumagsak ang malakas na ulan. Maaraw lang kanina at ngayong malapit ng matapos ang klase ay biglang uulan. Huminga ako ng malalim. The class dismissed.

Kitang kita ko mula sa kinauupuan ko ang pag dilim ng paligid, ang malakas na ulan at bahagyang pagkulog at kidlat.

Nanatili akong nakaupo sa upuan ko. Not minding those students who started to get their things done. I close my eyes as the cold breeze touches my skin.

"Hey.." napamulat ako ng mata ng marinig ang pamilyar na boses na iyon. "Hindi ka pa uuwi?"

Nagangat ako ng tingin at bumungad sa akin si Braison, with his usual smile, like he didn't drop all those bomb on me during our break.  You really hide your emotion so well, Braison.

"Hey." pagbati ko ng umupo siya sa lamesa malapit sa akin. Tanaw din ang bintana kung saan malakas ang ulan. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Bahagya siyang lumingon sa akin dahilan para mag tama ang tingin namin.

"I was about to go home pero nakita kita." sambit niya. Dumako ang tingin ko sa wall clock na nandirito.

"I mean, wala kang afternoon class." nanlaki ang mata niya kaya napairap ako ng wala sa oras. "Yeah, you're faking it again." sambit ko dahilan para matawa siya.

"Ba't kabisado mo ang schedule ko? Ikaw haa" ngumiwi lang ako dito kaya lalo siyang natawa. "Honestly, napadaan lang ako. Naka toka ako na mag sarado ng office. I'm the vice president of internal committee, remember?" tumango ako.

Oo pala, kaya isa siya sa mga nag tour sa amin during the freshman tour.

"So, bakit di ka pa umuuwi?" I asked again.

"Nandito ka pa." he shrugged like it's no big deal at all. And looking at him, how can someone be able to cheat on someone like him?

"Lourica.." he leaned back, nakaharap siya sa bintana habang nakatukod ang kamay sa lamesa na kinauupuan niya. Eyes on me.. And I wonder if he could see right through me. How he pronounce my name with such gentleness..

"Uh?" sinalubong ko ang tingin nito. There's nothing but silence. Halos di ko marinig ang malakas na pag buhos ng ulan, maging ang pangilan ngilan na pagkulog at pagkidlat.

My heart is in danger.. I couldn't calm it down..

"Lourica, you really resembles the rain." ah.. what??

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