needle and thread

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The bed sheets haven't been washed in a yearPorcelain skin broken and scarredWalking with wobbly kneesAnd bruised knuckles

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The bed sheets
haven't been washed in a year
Porcelain skin broken and scarred
Walking with wobbly knees
And bruised knuckles

Chapped
Ripped
Raw, cherup lips brilliant red
From constant biting and pulling

Legs tinkling like clashing silverware
With each slow
Deliberate step

Feeling pain just to feel
Marvelled at the sight
Of red, rough cuts
Scattered and sewn

Waking up in countless unknown beds
Embedded with unknown smells
That empty feeling
Of walking home alone
Again
Head pounding
Numb
Alone

Living life by breathing
By a heart beat
The ache acting as a weight
Downing pills and vodka
Just to rid of it
Living in disgust with yourself
Watching the world around you
Like a film in a cinema

They tell you to turn on the lights
But it's not that you're scared of the dark
It's that every time you muster up the courage, the door becomes farther away
It's another cancelled plan
It's another aplogoy as to why you're not involved
It's when it hurts worse to move
It's fear that chains us
Fear that we're taught


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