Saving you (kuroken)

Chapter 7

Kozume.

Kenma often asked himself, what happiness really is.

Was it getting what you've wanted for so long? Was it having someone love you back? Was it living a good life? With so many descriptions, Kenma didn't come up with an answer and he liked to think that people have their own definition of what happiness is. He wanted to find out what his is.

"K-Kenma?" A voice, familiar and smooth; he was reminded of a velvet.

Kenma had to lick his lips in frustration and started to think that coming back to Tokyo was a bad idea.

When he turned to face the unknown voice, Kenma's face dropped into a frown as the familiar, bitter taste came again. He hated it.

"Kuroo." The boy spoke impassively as he turned back on the railing of the boardwalk.

He didn't change much. The same hair, the same face and the same clothing style. He grew a few inches taller and that was it. However, with just one short look, Kenma already knew that Kuroo already matured. A lot.

"What are you doing here?"

"Whatever I'm doing here is none of your business." Kenma hissed as he tried to conceal the surprise of seeing his former bestfriend before he turned his back and started to walk angrily away

"K-kenma, please."

Somehow, something in Kuroo's voice kept Kenma's feet chained to the ground. He tried to lift his feet, to do anything to scramble away from the man that he was once close with but he couldn't do anything other than desperately try to blink the tears that managed to crawl into his tired eyes.

When Kenma turned to look at Kuroo, he had to hold back a sob as the realization of how much he really missed the guy dawned on him. As annoying the bed haired man could get, Kenma couldn't deny how fond he was of him.

It was hard for the shorter boy to live on without Kuroo in his senior year. There was no one he could talk to, no one to annoy the shit out of him, to push him to eat more Yakiniku during away games, no one. The only thing that Kenma knew was Kuroo was going to uni but he didn't know where.

Kenma going to his own uni was even harder. Kuroo didn't fulfill his promise; to go to college with Kenma.
Kenma wasn't very good with people and to go to a university with thrice the population of Nekoma was difficult.

However, going on without Kuroo molded Kenma so much that he has changed a lot. He changed to the point where his perspective of life was now different.

Now Kenma sat in front of Kuroo with a caramel macchiato in hand, not knowing why he was letting an old string sew itself back on his life again.

He tried to ignore the way Kuroo looked at him with eyes that scream sorry, regret, hope, and curiosity. It looked like he wanted to ask him something but was holding back.

"If you're going to inquire something then just say it." Kenma snapped angrily, yet quietly and that made Kuroo blink as he took in the fact that Kenma actually did snap at him.

"Y-you've changed." Kuroo said awkwardly as he nibbled on his bottom lip, a habbit he acquired through the years

"Yeah, no shit." Kenma said as he took a careful sip from his steaming coffee

Kuroo wanted to slap himself for being such an awkward piece of shit who didn't know how to start a conversation and took deep breaths mentally before he spoke again.

"How was uni?"

Kenma placed his cup down and shot an impassive glance at Kuroo as the feeling of anger surged in him so suddenly. "You want an honest answer?" He asked back and Kuroo stayed quiet, expecting a punch on the face. He expected Kenma to yell at him or probably break his nose because that is what he needed; to wake himself and face a sucky reality.

"College was hard. Especially without you." Kenma spoke quietly as he fidgetted with his thumb to distract himself in looking at Kuroo "I had to live day by day hoping that you'd come." He admitted with a sigh as the nostalgia of hoping for Kuroo to show up hit him. "By the second year of college, I finally realized that you'd never come so I tried to live on like how normal people do."

"Kenma, I'm sorry." Kuroo quietly said as he looked down at his feet in regret but Kenma only cracked a small smile.

"You don't need to be." Kenma said as he stood up making Kuroo's eyes widen in panic.

He didn't like the look on Kuroo's eyes. He could see longing and worry, Kenma told himself it was all bogus.

"Then let me make up for it!" Kuroo suddenly exclaimed and that stopped Kenma on his tracks.

No.

Horror filled Kenma yet the craving in his heart intensified the longer he stayed with the presence of Kuroo.

"Compensations are for closure." Kenma whispered as he reluctantly took another step but Kuroo equally took a step foreward

"I don't need amends right now."

That was all Kenma could say before he ran away.

Kenma has two choices.

But Kuroo was only a temporary fix while death was for the long run.

+

Sorry for the long wait 😭 I didn't notice it has almost been two weeks since I last updated.

I've been slacking off and binge watching anime while ignoring education.😂