snapshots

xxix. numb /March 7, 2014/

I awake

The hurt, anger, sadness, and negativity

From the night before

Coursing through my veins

And daunting my thoughts

Numb,

I think.

Numb

Is what protects me from

The hurt, anger, sadness, and negativity

That I go through.

Worthless.

My demons hiss,

Numb,

I reply,

You can't get to me.

You're too curvy, too fat, to be sexy,

They point out,

Jeering.

Numb,

I state,

I-I'm beautiful.

Self obsessed,

How many times have you pointed out

That so many boys like you?

They ask,

Conceited.

Selfish.

Numb,

I croak,

It's just-just,

Do I really mention it that much?

STOP!

I won't let you get to me.

She said stop snapping at her

And having a rude attitude!

They command,

She's your mother!

Appreciate her.

Numb,

I sob,

I haven't done anything wrong!

I stood and stared at my bottle of pills last night.

Numb wasn't there.

Instead, 

My demon was.

It won't be so bad,

He crooned,

I've helped others like you.

Trust me...

You'll feel better.

But I'm going to fight

With what strength

The shell of me has.