Keep Breathing

There is always hope.

Written by anon:

I was 15 years old and in a relationship with a boy I'd had a crush on for two years. He was very different and that was the reason I loved him. He was very practical too. Everything in his life had a logical reasoning. I loved him against all odds. It was a miracle how he had also fallen for me. Then one day, we met at our usual place which was a park and then from there he took me to an empty cottage. He started with a kiss and then, as time passed, he let his hands wander off to different body parts. His hands touched places I could never imagine. Somehow I pushed him away and ran out of the cottage and towards the main road. When I got back home. I cried a lot. I didn't have dinner. I was lost. I could feel him and that scared me.

The next day, a friend told me he had seen pictures of me with my boyfriend. I was curious. By the end of the school day, I was very curious as people had been acting very weirdly around me. When I got home, I asked to see the photos. My friend hesitated at first, but caved in when I applied continuous pressure. The pictures were of mine and his personal moments. And in them, his face was hidden, but mine was showing.

I broke. I was too shocked to do anything. My brother entered my room and saw me numb and not able to move. Tears were falling down and I was too scared. And then I tainted. I was alone when I woke up and suddenly my cellphone started ringing. I picked it up, as it was an unknown number and the caller asked if it was me. I said yes, and they started shouting how it was all my fault that this had happened to me and then cut the call.

By now, I was done. I went to the washroom and took out the blade and started piercing my skin. I did multiple cuts and three of them were very deep. The blood was flowing freely.

I was about to faint when I saw my brother enter. When I woke up, my brother and his friend were there and they were sitting beside me. The first thing I asked was 'do our parents know?' and he said no. You see, my family is very stereotypical and if they got to know any of this, it wouldn't be good. So I am glad that my brother took care of it himself. After that day, I started to self-harm. I continued it for a few months. After a few months, I got to know the reason why the boy I loved so much did this to me and it was that before dating this guy, I had a best friend I used to share everything with but then he proposed to me and I said no. I never looked at him that way and as revenge, he asked this guy to act like he was in love with me and to do these things to me.

I broke again and tried suicide by drinking finail, but didn't succeed.

After that, I suffered from major depression for a year. I was a zombie. Classmates used to bully me a lot and often people told me things that no girl would like to hear. After about a year, I became friends with a few other people and they helped me overcome my depression. They were always there for me when I needed them. They listened to me. They scolded me when I did anything wrong! And most importantly, they loved me even though I had scars and by speaking to them and getting motivated, I fought my depression and suicidal tendencies.

And despite all the pain, when they asked for forgiveness, I forgave them.