Summer Letters

Chapter 17

Jensen,

I took your advice today and all I have to say is thank you. I spilled some of my feelings to her. I told her things I should have told her a long time ago. We both ended up crying and stayed up all night venting. I don't know if things will get better, but I feel better than I have felt in a long time because I'm not hiding anything from her anymore.

I just came back to my room. My face is still red from crying. I told her I wanted to clean up and shower before we do anything else. We agreed to spend the day at the beach to clear the air and have some fun after the intense night.

I have no idea how to thank you except to keep saying thank you. You have stuck by me all summer even though I have always disliked you. I have rejected you every chance I got, and still you're here giving me advice and making sure you don't take too long to reply to my messages. I don't know what I ever did to deserve somebody like you in my life. I've never said this before, but you're an incredible person Jensen. I underestimated you and it will never happen again. It's because of you that I finally have a chance at a good relationship with my sister. I'll never forget what you've done for me.

- Lena

Lena,

You don't have to thank me. By now, even you know that I would do anything for you. I've only ever wanted to see you happy. Your home life is nothing like I expected it to be, but it's made me feel closer to you. We have more in common than I thought.

I never imagined, well I guess I imagined, but I never thought you would actually open up to me this much. You've always closed yourself off and separated yourself from others. I knew there was more to you, but it's more incredible than even I could have imagined. You're a great person. I don't think your family appreciates you the way they should. I don't think your sister has either because she let jealousy get the best of her. I don't know if there's hope for your parents because adults have a tendency to get stuck in their ways, but I always had hope that there was a chance for you and your sister. If anybody has a chance at understanding what you've been through, or what you're thinking, it's a sibling. I know that from experience. You'll know it someday too, I know it.

- Jensen

Jensen,

I think I would have considered saying yes before if I had known these things about you. If I had just known who you were. If I knew you had these fantastic qualities I never would have said no so harshly. I'm so sorry if I've ever hurt you. You don't deserve it either.

Now that summer is starting to come to a close I'm scared about what will happen when I return to school. My sister and I will feel distant again. She'll eventually get angry and jealous again. Then there's you and me. Nobody knows we talk to each other. They think I hate you. It's almost a game to them to see how I'll react whenever you ask me on a date. I feel like I'm starting to change; like I'm not the same person I was when the summer started. How will our friends react when they see that change? How will they react if they find out we spent all summer talking to each other? Especially when we didn't talk to any of them.

Don't get me wrong, I've loved how this summer turned out, but I don't want everyone to think I'm a different person. I like how they see me at school. I like that they have such high expectations of me because it makes me work harder. If that changes, I don't know if I could handle it.

- Lena