Summer Letters

Chapter 29

Jensen and Lena did not see Marlene, Sebastian, or Alfonso the next day. Jensen and Lena didn't even leave the top floor of their building. Jensen put his phone on silent and Lena shut her phone off entirely. She didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. The principal said they were calling their parents and she didn't want to hear what they had to say. Not yet. Talking to them would only lead to her yelling at them. She didn't want to take her anger out on them. 

Jensen wasn't sure whether to check on Lena or not at first. He tried to sleep in, but had a hard time falling asleep at all. He couldn't stop thinking about Luna and why she might have done it. He wished he could have stopped it. He wished he would have saw the signs. Now that she was gone, they seemed so obvious. He spent the first hour of the morning crying. He spent another half hour screaming into his pillow. When he calmed down, he took a shower and forced himself to eat a granola bar he had saved, sitting on his fridge. He didn't knock on Lena's door until almost noon.

Lena did not know how to feel when she opened the door and saw Jensen. She usually felt happy to see him, but this time they both knew neither one would be okay.

"I didn't know whether to knock or come in," Jensen admitted to her.

She forced a small smile and replied, "You never have to knock, Jensen."

"Not even today?" he asked.

Lena shook her head, "Not even today."

"I didn't know what else to do," Jensen said. "I don't know how to process it. I just know I don't want to go downstairs and see anyone else."

"Me either," Lena said. "I don't want to see or talk to anyone."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"No," she told him, "because you're the exception."

Without another word, Jensen walked in and pulled her into a hug. Lena burst into sobs for the third time that morning. Jensen kicked her door closed and tried to be strong as she cried, but he could not keep himself from crying either. Their best friend was gone. That changed everything. It changed everything about school, family, and friends. It even changed an aspect of their relationship. Luna believed in them. Luna was so happy to see that they had finally gotten together. For the rest of their lives, they would think back on their time at Burmingham and think of Luna. Burmingham could never make them happy anymore. Between the shooting and Luna, there were too many terrible memories.

Jensen eventually led Lena to her bed so they could sit down a while. They didn't talk for a while. They sat in silence, listening to the TV Lena left on. They could hear voices from the floor below them and voices of students walking to and from class outside.

"Jensen, how do we move on?" Lena asked, "I can't act happy about graduation and college with this happening. I'm not sure I can focus on homework either."

"We're not done grieving yet. We all mourn differently. Maybe talking to Luna's parents will help. They might know more than we do."

"I hope so," Lena said, "Because right now, I'm not sure how anything's going to be okay after this."

Alfonso, Sebastian, Marlene, Jensen, and Lena were escorted by the secretary to an empty classroom after Luna's parents arrived at the school. Her parents came in late and sat at the front of the classroom. Her mother wore a beautiful black and flower dress. It was obvious she was trying not to cry. She kept pulling out Kleenexes out of her purse to wipe her eyes. Her dad looked like a rock. His face didn't move. He didn't show emotion. Maybe that was how he was grieving.