A Reason To Live

Chapter 2

One week after you witnessed Jimin and your mom. You stared at Jimin, hoping he'd say something about what happened between your mom and him. He smiled a cheesy one at you. "What are you staring at?" Jimin asked. You faked a smile back, you pinched his cheek.

"No, it's nothing." You said, you felt hurt, he still wasn't going to say anything. Feeling your eyes sting with tears, you tried hard not to cry. Jimin looked at you, worry filled his expression, cupping your face he studied you.

"Are you okay? Why are you crying?" He asked, with that, all the anger and emotions you were holding the whole week exploded. You were crying, hard, so hard you could barely think. All you felt like doing was crying, and that's what you did. You cried, in his arms, in the arms of the thing that hurt you, that had killed you. You held his shirt, no matter how much anger you had towards him, you wanted to feel his embrace, for one last time.

*Flash Back* [Day Of Jimin's surprise Birthday party]

You tried shrugging everything off, trying to forget about what happened, and trying to forget about what you saw. You were setting up the table when you heard Seul Gi's voice, it was soft but you still heard it. You slightly turned and saw Jimin's hand, resting itself nicely on her bottom cheeks, groping it with his hands and squeezing with his fingers. He bit his lip as he stared at her.

You looked away and closed your eyes, how much you wanted to explode at him and kick his fucking ass. You wanted to ask them why and when they started this, How much you wanted to stab him, kick him, beat him up. But you controlled yourself, knowing that you'd give him exactly a week to confess up to you.

You never knew the real feeling behind betray until that day, that day your trust broke, that day you decided the die, that day you found out Jimin slept with all your friends. But one week, you gave him, which passed in a blink of an eye. In one week, there was no sign of Jimin confessing to you. You were killed and disappointed in this man that you called your lover. You pushed him back and wiped your tears.

"It's nothing." You lied, everything was a lie. You couldn't believe that he'd do this to you and hurt you so much. When the person who gave you the most happiness becomes the person who gives you the most pain.

Did he even love you?

After going out with Jimin, you were going to spend the night at his house, you were angered, pissed, and couldn't live anymore. 'I'm doing it tonight.' You thought, you had no intentions of living, everyone you loved hurt you, what was the point of living on?

There was nothing you could lose, and you'd live the rest of your life in prison if you could. Now you didn't even know what love was, if it was even worth fighting for, if it was even worth waiting for. You had no intentions of living, everyone was fake, and you broke down too much this week, it wasn't worth waiting a week for, but you believed in Jimin and he put you down.

You were angry, angry enough to hurt him physically. To hold onto something like this alone was so painful. You didn't know how you survived a week without killing yourself.

You sat at the kitchen table, thinking about ways to make him pay, ways to make him remember what he did to you, ways to haunt him for the rest of his life. You thought about when he told you the proper way of suiciding.

"Cutting horizontally is for pussies, it can't kill you, but if you cut vertically, it's hard for surgeons to put your vein back together, you'll have a bigger chance of dying that way."

You took out one of Jimin's cooking knives, and you started to sharpen it, he stared at you, you've been acting strange. You thought about how it'd look to see him bleed to death, to see him beg for you to spare his life, to see him suffer in front of you. You smiled, at Jimin, he innocently smiled back, and you hated it.

"What are you cooking?" He asked, you didn't answer, you walked over to him and set the knife on the table, you looked up at him.

"So how was it?" You asked, he stared at you, confused. You laughed hysterically as tears came in sight again.

"Why are you so confused?" You asked, he stood up and grabbed your arm.

"______-ah, what's wrong." Jimin said, sternly. You pulled away from him.

"Don't say my name like we're close Jimin-Ssi." You snapped, then you grabbed the knife and pointed it at him. He jumped, and backed away.

"What do yo-" you interrupted, taking a step closer to him, you cornered him in the pantry.

"Did you enjoy it? Are you sleeping with everyone I know because you can't have my body? Is that correct?" You asked, you were crying but it didn't even feel like it, it felt normal. He was left speechless, scared, and he was cornered.

"You want to live?" You asked, then you laughed. "I'm angry."

"________-Ah, stop." Jimin said, trying to calm you down. You laughed and poked him with the hand of the knife.

"I don't you not to act like we're close." You demanded, you stabbed his wall and it made a whole in the wall.

"How was it?" You asked, no answer. You stared at his eyes, tears of fear, shaking. Anger overwhelmed you. Jimin took out his phone but you knocked it out of his hand.

"You're calling the cops?" You asked, you stabbed his phone.

"How was it with my mom? What about my sister?" You asked, he couldn't answer.

"Answer me! Why are you all of a sudden so quiet?" You asked, screaming. You hit the wall and it caused you to cut your finger with the knife. You winced, the pain rushing through you, you dropped the knife. Jimin grabbed your hand.

"_____! Stop it now!" He grabbed paper towels and wrapped it around your finger but you pushed him off.

"You think this hurts?" You couldn't feel your tears, you couldn't feel the physical pain the cut gave you now. "It doesn't hurt, compared to how much you hurt me." You hit his chest and you dropped to your knees, grabbed the knife once again, you pointed it up at him.

"Don't touch me." You said.

"Do you remember telling me that if you want to die, you have to cut vertically?" You asked,you aligned the knife to your left wrist, and you cut your arm, slowly, starting at your wrist and down to your forearm. The pain surged through you, and your breathing became heavy. You got up, holding the knife.

"Go." You stared at your arm. "I want you to come back seeing me dead." He froze.

"Go! Go run, and go fuck Hyorin and Seul Gi, don't forget about Yuna and Yumi. And Jae Kyung, and Ji Na... Oh right... My mom too." You said you pulled him out the pantry.

"I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life." You threatened, you began trembling, it hurt, your arm really did hurt and you did feel pain.

"We have to go to the hospital!" Jimin said, he grabbed your uncut right arm and dragged you, to the door quickly but you resisted.

"Why do you suddenly care now?" You asked, you pulled your arm away from him.

"I'm going to die, in your house, i'm going to die. So just leave me here!" You screamed at him.

"Stop acting like that! You're going to live! I'll going to make sure you live!" Jimin snapped, you stopped and you stared at him, shaking your head.

"Let me die." You started to cry, from the bottom of your heart this time. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he just leave you there to die? Why couldn't he just run away?

"No! I'm not gonna let you die!" Jimin said, you were still holding the knife. You held up the knife at your self but he grabbed the blade with his bare hands and threw it to the side, his hand began to bleed. You didn't want to hurt him like that, you didn't want him to have any wounds. You didn't know what to do. Jimin pulled you in for a hug, holding your head close to his chest.

"I'm not going to let you die. You're not going to die." He said, that hurt you, you had hurt him, you caused a scene, and he wouldn't let you die. "You're going to live"

That was the last thing you heard before you saw a flash of darkness.