A Reason To Live

Chapter 7

With his lips pushed up against yours, you felt yourself melting. Once again you fell for his spell again, his arm wrapped around your waist. You opened your eyes, snapping yourself back to reality.

You tried pushing him off you but it only made him hold you tighter. His head gripping your hair to keep your kiss alive, you began stumbled because he began to lean over to your side. You fell upon the sofa and squirmed under Jimin's weight. You finally got him to break the kiss with you, where you began to catch your breath from the intense kiss. Jimin pinned your wrists against the sofa and tried to capture your lips, he missed because you turned your face away.

"Stop." You said, you looked at him again but with tears in your eyes. Jimin's eyes soften, and his grip loosened as he stared into your eyes. Letting go of your wrists, he brought his hands down slowly. You closed your eyes, afraid he do something to harm you, only to find out that he was going to gently wipe your tears. You opened your eyes again and Jimin smiled softly at you.

"I love you..." His voice, it caused your heart to race. He cupped one of your cheeks with his hand. His eyes began to tear up. "I love you." He whispered again. He suddenly collapsed, probably from all the alcohol he had you assumed. You got him off of you and you fixed his sleeping position, grabbing a blanket for him.

You watched Jimin sleep for a while, holding his hand because he seemed like he needed it. You knew that you couldn't go back to the times when you didn't know anything, even if you wanted to love him again, you know you couldn't. Your eyes began to tear up again as you had multiple flashbacks from when you first met Jimin to the time when you didn't know about what happened between him and your friends and family.

Letting go of his hands you wiped your tears and got up, you looked around his house and it was the same, he hadn't changed anything since you broke up with him. You went into his kitchen and remembered the incident when you stabbed yourself and tried killing yourself. You weren't mad anymore, you got over the incident, it was something you had learned to accept in life.

"I should cook him some of his favorite kimchi jjigae." You said, rummaging through his fridge for the ingredients. It wasn't long until you were done with the soup, you cleaned up after yourself and plopped down at the kitchen table.

"Eugh... I'm so tired." You groaned, taking your phone out, you had a missed call from Hoseok, it was from an hour ago though. You went over to where Jimin was asleep and tried waking him up, so he could sleep in his room.

"Get up, Jimin. Go sleep in your room." You shook his shoulder but he just groaned and turned away.

You couldn't get him to go sleep in his room so you decided to leave anyways. You were walking home, tired from the work you were doing for Jimin. On the way home you were reminiscing moments you and Jimin shared, your happy moments together, the moments when he had hard times and needed your comfort and the moments when he showed you how special you were to him.

Instead of feeling happy about the past, you began to feel an emptiness inside you, and a sadness that overtook you. You started to crying out of nowhere, and your heart began to ache. You realized how much you lost after that incident, you lost him, a large chunk of your happiness... Just gone. You were turning the corner to your apartment, looking 1up with your tears built up under your eye. He was standing in front of the apartment. You stared at the man in front of you, he smiled softly at you.

"I just wanted to make sure you got home safely." His voice brought a soothing against your emptiness. You broke down, covering your face with your hands. He pat your back with his hand, soothing your heart as he continued to do so.

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Jimin jerked himself awake, he was on his couch. He groaned from the throbbing pain surging through his brain. Holding his head with his hands, he closed his eyes in hopes of stopping time to stop his suffering. Looking up and around, he noticed the house almost spotless clean. Looking at his phone, he saw that he had drunk called you a total of 18 times, he covered his head in embarrassment.

Getting up, he made his way over to the kitchen, to find a small pot of kimchi jjigae in his fridge along with a small note that read. "Heat this up and  it, I hope your hangover isn't so bad. - ______"

Jimin found himself smiling as he read your note. He turned the stove on and placed the pot on top of the burner. After eating the kimchi jjigae, Jimin cleaned up after himself and headed up to his room.

He looked at his phone, and out of curiosity and wonder, he began to go through your old text messages. Jimin sighed with regret after he read through some of your texts, the guilt was hitting him so hard he could hardly read the rest of your messages.

He let his body fall down against the soft memory foam bed, it wasn't long until he heard a knock at the door. Getting up to open the door, somewhat not wanting to open the door, he turned the doorknob to see his current girlfriend standing outside his house. With a smile, he invited her into his house. "Hi Ji Na." He said casually, instead of going inside, she hugged his waist tightly.

"I missed you..." Ji Na whispered, she looked up at Jimin and kissed his lips. He responded to the kiss, but he wasn't really feeling like being all lovey dovey with her today. Pushing him against the wall, Ji Na got down on her knees, as she went for his belt, he stopped her.

"Not now Ji Na..." Jimin said, she got up and linked her arm with his arm.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a pout, he shook his head.

"I'm not feeling well today." Jimin lied, he didn't realize that he couldn't stop thinking about you. He wanted you back into his arms.

"Can we at least go get ice cream?" She asked, Jimin didn't respond, he didn't want to go anywhere.

"I'll stop bothering you if we go get some ice cream." Ji Na said, and with that Jimin managed to nod. On the way there, Ji Na was glued to Jimin's arm, as if she didn't know how to let go. As they arrived at the ice cream shop, Jimin stopped in his tracks as he saw you walking inside the shop.

"What?" Ji Na asked, not grasping the situation. Jimin shook his head, "It's nothing..."

As they entered the shop, Jimin spotted you with one of the doctors, he recognized him. Jimin turned and decided to sit somewhere where he could see you.

"I'll go buy the ice cream. Wait for me!" Ji Na said, she went to stand in a long line. Jimin didn't care much about Ji Na, he was too busy looking at you. You had met with Hoseok at the ice cream shop after you left his yesterday, promising to treat him.

"I'm going to use the bathroom real quick." You said to Hoseok, you left to the bathroom and you started to fix your make up. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, feeling happy to have a great friend like Hoseok.

You grabbed your bag and turned to leave the bathroom. As soon as you opened the Bathroom door, you saw a familiar person standing in front of the bathrooms. Jimin looked up at you, his eyes lighting up with bashfulness. You were going to walk pass him when he called you. "______."

You turned to look at him, your eyes twisted into a glare. "What?" You answered.

"About last night..." Jimin started, you shook your head.

"What? You're thankful?" You said, interrupting him. You started to feel bad as you saw the hurt in Jimin's eyes. He nodded slowly, you shrugged.

"Don't call me again.." You said, you were going to leave but Jimin grabbed your arm. You looked at him again, he stared straight into your eyes.

"Do you not care about me?" Jimin asked, you scoffed, trying to shake off his grip that he had on your wrist.

He didn't let go.

"What makes you think I give a crap about you after all you did to me?" You asked, staring straight at him, knowing that he'd feel too guilty to answer. He stared at you with a mix of anger and sorrow, he gripped on your wrist tighter.

"Why'd you come last night then?"