A Reason To Live

Chapter 10

After a few seconds, you backed up away from him. He reached for you but you pulled away. "No." You said. "You're only going to hurt yourself more."

Jimin smiled softly in pain.

"But will it ever hurt as much as I hurt you?" He asked, you didn't answer. "No, it won't." He said for you. He hit his chest with his fist.

"Here... It needs to feel the pain that you did, that way I can live without being haunted by what i've done to you!" Jimin cried, you looked down at your hands, not knowing what to say.

"I regret everything, i'd go back in time to fix it if I could." Jimin said, he just stared at you.

"I don't want you to go through what I did. No one should ever have to experience that. Not even you." You said, you felt like you were going to break out into tears because of thinking about the hard times you had to deal with.

"Why can't you just tell me to go die? Why don't you just curse me instead of telling me that you want me to have a better life?!" Jimin yelled, holding back his tears.

"Even though you did that, I still care. Those four years that we were together, they were made with love that was once a main part of my life. I can't help but care... we had been together for so long." You said, "And because I care, I want you to gather yourself together, and find someone who will love you. Someone that you can't cheat on, someone you'll love more than ever."

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You had left Jimin at the park, you went home first. You were now stressed, unable to think straight. You just felt so troubled. You shook your head trying to shake off the unnecessary thoughts. You took a deep breath, tossing yourself on your bed. Thinking about his sudden confession towards you. You were reminded of when you confessed to him in your senior year of high school but was rejected by him. You heard a knock at the door, you got up to go open the door.

"Hoseok? What ar-" you stopped talking when Hoseok stumbled forward towards you, falling to his knees as you caught his arms. You groaned, closing the door after setting him on the ground.

"Was he drinking?" You asked yourself, you grabbed Hoseok and dragged him into your room. You don't know how you got him on the bed but you did somehow, which took forever.

"Hoseok." You said, shaking Hoseok's arm. He groaned and hit you with his arm, which you blocked with your own arm.

"What the heck..." You mumbled, you leaned in towards Hoseok. You were just staring at him as he slept, when his eyes shot open. You jumped back from the sudden knowledge that he was awake.
"______? Am I dreaming?" Hoseok asked, he sat up slowly.

"Are you okay?" You asked, worried sick because you've never seen him drunk. He motioned for you to go closer to him, which you did. He smiled sweetly as he cupped his hand around his mouth.

"I'm scared of water." He whispered, you backed up and gave him a questioning look. He must've drank a lot.

"How did you get here?" You asked, he grabbed your shoulders.

"I teleported." He said, laughing loudly afterwards. You could smell his alcohol breath and you covered your nose immediately.

"Ew, stop it!" You screamed, pushing his face away, but he continued to try and breathe in your face. You were worried about him though, he probably didn't drink because he was in a good mood, but because he was sad. Hoseok grabbed your face.

"What are you doing?" You asked, Hoseok smiled, his white teeth literally glowing.

"Actually, after you were discharged... I had really been anticipating for when you returned." Hoseok confessed. You laughed.

"Really?" You commented, he nodded.

"I just really wanted to see you smile for real." Hoseok said, he smiled and laughed a bit.

"The wait was worth it." Hoseok said. You smiled, really liking his little confession towards you.

"Why?" You asked, Hoseok smiled. "Because your smile was beautiful." You smiled at his words. Deep into thought. Out of nowhere, he began to gag. You backed up away from him.

"Hold it in!" You screamed, right as he puked on your lap. You looked up at Hoseok who stared at you, wide eyed. Then he started to crack up in a loud laughter. You glared at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." He said laughing as he did so. Then all of a sudden he just knocked out and fell back onto the bed. You stared at the vomit, slightly disturbed. You groaned and cleaned up his puke, hand washing his shirt and your blankets.

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You shook Hoseok awake, urging him to open his eyes and eat breakfast. "Wake up." You repeated impatiently. Finally you smacked his arm, causing him to jerk awake. He freaked out when he saw you, he covered his chest and pulled the blanket up to him.

"Come eat." You said, you returned to the dining area and sat down in front of your bowl. Hoseok came into the dining area shortly after he washed up and put on his shirt.

"Sorry... I drank too much..." Hoseok said, he smiled softly at you and you could tell that it was forced.

"It's okay... next time, you shouldn't drink alone." You said, smiling as you glanced at him.

"Sorry..." He said again, an awkward smile forming around his lips.

"Next time call me, especially when you're having a hard time. Okay?" You said. No answer. You looked up at him and his expression seemed to be surprised.

"Eat." You said sternly, making it sound like and order.

Hoseok sat down and took a sip of the Kimchi stew. His face quickly lightened up.

"Woah, this is pretty good." Hoseok said, he took another spoonful and smiled brighter. You smiled as he ate, satisfied that he liked your stew.

"You don't work right?" You asked. Hoseok nodded as he quickly took a glance at you then back to the soup.

"You wanna go out?"

Hoseok took his last sip and shook his head.
"I'm gonna go to the crematorium." He answered. You slightly pouted and then nodded.

"I'll go with you." You said, taking his bowl to the sink.

"You don't have to." Hoseok said quickly, you turned to him and frowned.

"I want to." You said back to him. He diverted his eyes from yours and looked at the floor.

"I wanna go alone." He said, he turned around and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door. Slightly hurt, you went after him and grabbed his hand tightly, stopping him from getting further from you.
"You're always keeping your distance from me..." you started, pausing in hesitation. "Why?"

"To me... You're just a patient." Hoseok answered, he shook your hand free.

"Jung Hoseok..." You said, your voice trembling. "You said that you wanted to see me smile a real smile..." He turned around and looked at you, pain in his eyes.

"But seeing you hurt and alone like this... It's making me sad!" You confessed, Hoseok let out a breathy sigh.

"You don't need me to smile a real smile." Hoseok said.

"What are you going to do if I do need you?" You asked, Hoseok hesitated to answer then said "You're mistak-"

"I like you!" You blurted, interrupting him. Your sudden confession caught him off guard.

"So stop lying and saying that i'm just a patient!" He took one step closer to you. He was taking too long to give a reaction, causing you to be more anxious.

"I said that I lik-!" You were about to say until he gently kissed your forehead, causing you to fall silent. When he stood straight again, he had a smile on his face.

"What can I do if you confess so cutely like that?" He asked himself, not being able to calm his heart down.

"I like you too..."