Recovery » nh.

11. Jealousy, again.

Caitlyn's POV.
"Goodbye, sissy! See ya soooon!" She hugged me. "Goodbye sis, call or text me, okay? Keep safe." I hugged her back. El nodded and wiped her tears. Louis got all of her stuff and put it to the trunk. He started the engine and drove off. She's going back to Manchester because she have classes tomorrow. Oh suck school. I will miss her.
I looked at my watch and it's already 6 o'clock in the evening! Oh my. I came back to our room and.. where is Niall? Maybe he's with Zayn or Liam? I closed the door of our room and headed to Zayn and Liam's room. I knocked repeatedly, no answer. Oh man, fine. I was about to go back to our room but I saw Harry and Louis' room was open. I saw Harry sitting on the bed watching television.
"Hey." He waved his hand as he turned the television off.
"Uh, where is Niall?" I asked while standing on the doorframe.
"Buying foods for dinner.. with Liam and Zayn."
"Oh."
"Come here! You look like an idiot standing there." He chuckled. I entered and scan the room. It's so messy! Pants, shirts, socks, shoes, and boxers are everywhere. "It's Louis. Louis' the messiest." Harry answered my thoughts. "Stop looking around, I know it's messy, okay?" He chuckled. I'm still looking around while walking towards him. "Why didn't you cle-" I didn't finish my sentence as I slipped off because of a freaking banana peel but luckily, Harry quickly caught me from falling. His hands are on my waist while both of my hands are on his shoulder. Phew! "You okay?" He smiled while looking at my eyes. "Yeah." I half smile.

Niall's POV.
I opened the door of my-our room and I didn't found Caity. Zayn and Liam are still in the parking lot so I decided to bring the foods here, Caity and Harry are starving now. What the.. don't tell me they are together? Nah, what's wrong with that? Harry is like her big brother so I have nothing to worry about. I rushly walked into Harry's room door and luckily it's open.
Fuck. What the hell? Did I interrupted something? Did I missed something here? I was shocked. I don't seriously know what to feel. Jealousy, sadness, anger? I don't know. She always do this. She's with me sometimes with Harry, I don't understand her. Was she using us? I'm confused.
"Lad?" Zayn tapped my shoulder. I didn't move until Harry notice us. He greeted and let us in. I looked at Caity, she's sitting on the bed while I sat on the cushion near the window. I don't know what to think, I feel betrayed even tho we're not dating. My mind goes round and round. I heard Liam switch the TV on and I tried to watch the movie, Hunger Games. I'm not interested on that movie so I keep glancing at Caity and Harry. They're both eating their dinner in the bed. Suck it, Styles. All girls are yours, you always get what you want. I rolled my eyes and glanced at them one more time, Harry whispered something to her and she burst out laughing. Liam and Zayn looked at each other and shrugged. Jealousy hits me... again. While I'm looking at her, she looked back and smiled. I rolled my eyes and stormed out. I directly went to my room and slam the door. I heard footsteps and the door bursts open, Caity. She rushly came and sat next to me. I looked down, avoiding her. She put her arms on mine and spoke; "What's wro-"
"Leave me alone." I said as I got up from the bed. What's wrong? You seriously asked me if what the fucking hell is damn wrong? Wow Caitlyn, wow. I was about to go to the balcony to take some fresh air but she spoke; "Niall, what's wrong? Did I do some-"
"What part of leave me alone you do not understand?!" I cut her again as I punch the wall and faced her. Jealousy takes over me.
"You know Niall? I don't seriously understand you. Sometimes you're kind and sometimes.. this. I don't know. You're acting so damn weird!" She yelled while throwing her hands in the air.
"What's going on between you and Harry?" I asked softly. I looked down and my vision felt little bit blurred now.
"Nothing."
"What the fuck do you mean 'nothing'? I saw both of you.. about to make out." I murmured the last sentence. Seriously? Nothing? I saw both of you faces apart from each other. What, huh? About to make out while the damn door was opened?
"What are you talking about? When I'm about to slipped off and Harry caught me?" Her eyebrows rose, her eyes are teary. What? Harry caught her? I didn't move nor speak. I turned my back to her and make my way to the balcony but before I can do it "Listen to me first." She continued as she cleared her throat. I stopped from walking.
"So.. I was waving goodbye to El and Louis when they're finally gone, I went here, to our room, to find you. But you're not here so I knocked on Liam and Zayn's room but no one answered. I was about to go back here in our room but I saw Harry and Louis' room was open so I asked Harry if where were you and I decided to stay there for a moment while waiting for you to come back. While I'm walking towards him, I slipped off because of a damn banana peel.. and luckily, Harry caught me quickly or else my ass is on trouble now." Her voice cracked.
Still, I stay silent. Was that the real story? Or she's just playing with me? I don't know what to say so I'm just standing here, not facing her. We stay silent for a moment, "sorry," I mumbled as I looked at the buildings through the glassy window. I blinked few times to take my tears away. She didn't speak, instead she hugged me from behind. I was shocked. She hugged me tight and I feel something liquid at my back.
Was she crying? Did I make her cry? What the? This is not what I want, I just wanted to clear this thing, nothing more.
"I'm so sorry if I made you angry. I was just looking for you to comfort me because Eleanor was not here. I just need someone and.. and.. I made you angry. I didn't mean it. And that's not what you think.. I-I don't like Harry. This is not my nor Harry's fault. It's, it's the banana peels fault." She cried out. I didn't expect this. What I expect was.. she'll storm out and leave me like Barbara. But no.. this is not hers, Harry's nor the 'banana peels' fault. This is my fault. My emotions, my jealousy, my anger's fault. "I promise that I will never fall in love with anyone of you especially Harry." She swears while hugging me tight. "Let's see." I murmured. She broke the hug and I faced her. "Sorry, okay? This is not what I want. I just want to clear things between you and Harry because.. nevermind. I-I really am sorry. I'm sorry if I yelled and punch the wall, I'm sorry if I scared the shit out of you." I apologize and looked down.
"It's okay, Niall." She smiled weakly. She looked at her watch and time run so fast, it's already 9:48 in the evening. Tomorrow night we have a concert so we better sleep. Ugh.
"Come on let's sleep. It's getting late." I said as wiped her tears. She excuse herself and went to the bathroom. This day is so.. I don't know. My feelings for her is getting stronger. 'I will never let myself fall for her.' My mind remind me that phrase again but.. screw it. I'll just go with the flow. She came out from the bathroom and sat beside me, here on the bed. I switch the TV on and watch Spongebob.
Minutes later..
She's yawning. She seems so tired. "Go to sleep, I know you are tired. Sorry again." I looked at her eyes while biting my lip.
"It's okay," she smiled. "Goodnight." She continued and cupped face. "Night." I smiled at her and she pulled the covers to her and closed her eyes. I turn the TV off and locked the door. I came back beside her and looked at her. I cupped her cheek and touch her hair. I'm so lucky to have her even though she's not my girlfriend. She makes me happy. Really happy.
This is weird because last day I said; 'I will never love again.' And now? What? I changed so fast but I'm still afraid. Afraid that she'll leave and broke me like Barbara did. My feelings for her is getting stronger. I hope she does too. Am I ready to have a real relationship? Did I really moved on? What if I'll confess? What if she'll tossed me? I don't know but I will follow what my heart says.
I pulled the cover over my body and faced her. I slowly put my hands on her waist and drifted to sleep.