Melting the Ice

20; orenda

"orenda"

— 

A word with Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) origins, orenda is defined as the mystical force, which exists within every human being that empowers them to change the world or to change their own life.

❄️❄️❄️❄️

I stand frozen in place like I'm rooted to the spot, blinking while cameras completely blind me. I panic when I don't see Zach anymore. The crowd is starting to get louder and bigger, throwing out questions, wanting Zach to answer them. 

My heart is beating hard and loud in my chest and I feel like I'll throw up any second. My whole body is shaking until I feel Zach wrapping his arm around my waist and pushing me forward. I hang my head, blindly following him anywhere he'll take me, as long as it's away from this mess. 

People are loud around us, there's a lot of pushing, a lot of flash and a lot of questions that none of us answers. Zach pushes me on the passenger seat of his car and quickly seats himself by the wheel. I keep my head down until we drive away, the flash coming through the windows. 

Zach hastily drives away, escaping the chaos outside. I'm sitting beside him quiet and shocked as to what the hell just happened. Zach seems relaxed and so used to this kind of thing it amazes me. My heart is beating so hard in my chest that it actually hurts. "That was pretty ... hectic," I comment when I find my voice again. My hands are shaking on my lap.

Zach places his hand on my leg and squeezes it. "You handled it pretty good."

I look at him, wondering if he's joking. Handled it pretty good?! "I didn't handle it at all, Zach." 

Zach eyes me. "Of course you did. Besides, it's not a big deal. You'll get used to it very soon and you'll just learn to ignore them." 

I take a deep breath, looking down at Zach's hand that's resting on my leg as if it belongs there. "Does this mean my face is going to appear in the news now?" Truthfully, I'm kind of scared of that. I don't want people to talk about me because I'm hanging out with a well-known person. I want people to talk about me because they recognise me and my talent in skating. I want to be successful on my own. 

"I suppose so," Zach says carefully. "Does it bother you?"

"Well ..." I chuckle uncomfortably. I didn't prepare myself for this moment. To be honest, I didn't even think about something like this happening. I can easily forget that Zach is basically a celebrity and of course people will want to know what's going on in his private life. I should remind myself that this thing would happen soon. "It's kind of a surprise, although I should have probably expected it." 

Another thing is; does Zach want to be photographed with me? Jesus, when people are going to see me, all messy and wearing my old baggy sweatpants and Zach's shirts under my jacket, they're going to question what the hell he is doing out with me, too. 

Zach squeezes my leg again. "Don't let it get to you, babe. If you don't throw them any bones, they'll eventually get bored of digging."

I'm actually concerned how easily Zach calls me 'babe'. I wonder how many others he addresses like that. I also wonder how many women he takes out regularly or does the same thing with them as he's doing to me. Maybe that's why I'm afraid to look through any magazines or go to the library and search him on the internet. But maybe that's why I probably should do it so I could trust him more afterwards. Or not at all.

But I think it would be stupid of me to judge him for that. He's a good-looking guy with a lot of money and a lot of media attention. Should I honestly expect he doesn't get a lot of female population's attention? And should I really expect him not to take advantage of that?