"Y/n, no" Rick cried over her.
She laid on the ground, walker bit a mark into her neck. Raw flesh and blood was all over, her, the ground, his hands, clothes and face. He didn't care. But she, she couldn't survive through this, not possible.
Flashes of him after Lori filled his head. He didn't want to go there again. He could only imagine what she looked like when she had died. Not this gory, but still, in pain, knowing what was next. He shook his head, tears and blood flew off his face.
"Rick, do it! Don't you fucking leave me here" y/n choked out.
"Y/n, I-I can't. Not you, not to you" He mumbled.
Her eyes started fluttering shut and her breathing was slowing.
"Y/n, no!" He screamed "I love you, god dammit!"
"I love you too, Rick" She whispered, struggling to keep her eyes open.
She grabbed Ricks' hand and looked him in the eyes.
"Do it" She whispered.
Then her head fell to the ground, her chest was now still and Rick was alone. He knew it, she was gone. He'd have to come back and tell everyone. He clutched onto her body one last time before leaving.
Now, he was out gardening a week after her death. He was trying to get over, move on but still be apart of the group. Gardening was a way to help the group but for him to still be alone.
He heard a walker to his side over his earbuds. He looked over and saw her. Not just a walker, but y/n. The same clothes, wound rotting, skin greying. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, hoping she'd go away like the Lori visions. But she didn't. This was real.
"No, no, no, no" He mumbled to himself.
From the courtyard, Hershel was watching him. He liked to watch over him, working and coping. Made him happy that he was working on it. But when he got up and headed to the gate, Hershel frowned.
"Rick!" He shouted but that didn't stop him.
He ran outside the gates and to the walker. She was snarling and grasping for him. To him, she was a human, she looked how she did before all this. He walked closer to her, with a smile.
"I knew you weren't gone, couldn't be" He spoke to himself more than anyone.
No words were spoken back, just groans.
He walked up to her and grabbed her arm, skin peeled over when he tried to grasp her. He looked down, horrified and saw what was happening. She wasn't okay, she wasn't alive. He looked to her face and saw her how he did inside. Her jaw snapping at him.
"No! Shit, y/n! It's me, can't you see that!" He yelled in a desperate attempt to get her to stop.
It didn't help. He pushed her away but fell backwards in time being. y/n stood up and fell over him. Her head inches from his face, death was looking him in the eye. God was getting him back, that's what he gets for not having the strength to put her down himself. Next to him was a rock where he smashed y/n's head.
Blood splashed onto his hands and clothes, like when she died the first time. He cried again. Everything coming back from her to Lori and everything happening right now. He pushed his hair back and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.
"It wasn't her, it wasn't her" He repeated to himself, reassuring himself he did the right thing.
"You said you killed her" Hershel spoke from the fence, now a few feet from Rick.
"I lied. I couldn't let my group know a coward was leading them" He replied, wiping tears from his face.
"You're not. What you did now, was right. What you did when she first died, that wasn't right. Wasn't fair. To her"
"I know, but, you can't just kill your girlfriend. It's not easy" He stood up.
"Carl killed his mother, his father's wife"
"What's done is done. She's gone now, end of story" Rick sighed.
"She's gone"
