Seven | Book 1 (An EXO fiction)

38.

Staring outside the window is as calming as it is panic inducing. Sometimes I find myself just...sitting in a chair and gazing out the window looking at everything and yet taking in nothing. It's always quiet.

Uncomfortably so.

But being uncomfortable makes me feel better than I would if I wasn't. Sitting in silence is soothing, but it freaks me out. As long as nothing is happening and I'm not content, then nothing can go wrong and make me discontent. Feeling this neutral feeling of nothing makes me feel like maybe, just maybe it won't turn out to be some kind of hallucination.

I need reassurance that it's not all just a hallucination.

3 loud knocks sound at my door. I physically shake my head free of my thoughts before turning to face it. I wait for them to come in. Most of the people who come to my room know the protocol. I can't gather the vocal volume anymore to yell out for them to enter, so they usually just come in.

The knocking persists and I stand up annoyed. Who the hell is this and what the hell do they want? I trod over to the door and open it with a scowl. On the other side there is an unfamiliar male, his right arm holding a stack of books, his left raised in the air to knock again. He looks just as taken back as I feel, and we keep a weird tense eye contact for a good few seconds.

"Uh..." I drawl. My stomach starts to shudder in that disgusting way it does when I know I've started liking someone. It's happened a few too many times and I want to curse myself for not having better self-control. I should be able to not crush on every fucking person within a 10-mile radius for fuck's sake. I don't even know the guy, but he is far too handsome to be real. Like very handsome and clean cut and (shit now he's smiling) who the fuck is this guy? Can a person be this ethereal?

"Hi, sorry it seems like you weren't expecting me." Oh god his voice is cute too. I want to die in a hole he's perfect. "Can I come in?" I stand dumbstruck for a moment more before stepping aside to let him walk in. He steps through the threshold, looks around, and lets out a low whistle of appreciation. He settles his books down at the table where I use to sometimes eat with Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jongin.

For once I don't feel the need to cringe at the thought of their names.

Oh fuck, manners. "You uh, would you like to have a seat? Or...something to eat?" I don't know why I'm acting so nonchalant around this guy who could easily be a threat to me, but there's just something about his personality that's just so easy and unassuming that instead of feeling like he's a threat he seems like he wouldn't hurt fly. It's suspicious, but the hallucinations never featured people I had never met before. I don't think I've met this guy.

"Oh thank you. I'm not hungry, but thanks anyway," he sits down at the couch. He motions for me to sit across form him.

"Pardon my asking...but uh...who are you exactly?" I hesitantly sit on the edge of the couch directly across from him. His eyes widen.

"The Queen didn't tell you?" I shake my head slowly. "I'm your tutor," he says with another smile.

I squint at him while wracking my brain for any mentions of a tutor. I think I remember Solar mentioning it, but I can't remember any details about what she said.

I woke up in bed, heart pounding, after one of my occasional nightmares. Solar was beside me and woke up as well after I all but tore myself out of her arms. After calming me down and soothingly whispering words in to my ear, she sighs.

"Maybe you should start studies so that you can have something to distract you. You like to learn. It would be good for you to have other things to think about..." she mumbles absentmindedly. I didn't object, but then again why would I? if it would help stop the nightmares, then I'd do anything.