Seven | Book 1 (An EXO fiction)

50.

Hours.

Meer hours. That's all I have left as a human. I won't be a human after tomorrow.

I'll really be one of them.

My past. The reason I'm this far in the first place. My whole existence. All of it will just be...gone. Wisped away like a puff of smoke.

How will it feel? What about me will change?

I'll look 20 years old long after I'm no longer in my twenties. Okay. The stories I've heard about vampires were the same way. I'll be able to control something though. I think that's what scares me the most. Longer life, the power, neither of those concern me. I'm fine with it. I'm ready to be in charge. I'm doing this for everyone around me. That's what matters. Everyone around me.

But having my own magic...that's a different thing entirely.

I'll be a Gaia. I'll be able to go the exact things that I feared (and still kind of fear) for so long. The things that ruined my life, time and time again. The fire Charmer. Momma. The torture.

The nightmare I had comes back into my mind as clear as if it was one of my very own memories. Or maybe it's a vision of the future.

The darkness of my room looms threateningly around me. The moon is hidden behind heavy clouds and yet the shadows of the room feel even more active than they ever have. Circling around me like vultures waiting to suck away the part of me that I've held so close and took for granted all my life.

What if my power ends up being like the one in my nightmare? What if I can control blood and end up killing everyone around me? What if I end up with Chanyeol's ability to control fire? What if I can't control it? The 'what ifs' line up in my mind and take turns jumping down my throat like bombs ready to explode. Waiting for that final catalyst to set them off.

The shaking doesn't start long after.

I had known that this would happen. Solar told me. She told me that I would be turned. I heard her, didn't I? Why didn't it feel this way then? Maybe it's because it's so close to happening. Closer than I ever thought it would actually be. I thought that I would have a year at the very least. 5 at the most.

Not a day.

I can't even get myself to fully believe this. I can't...accept it. The fact that I'm going to have to just...let go of my humanity is weird. It's fucking weird and twisted and how would I have ever been able to explain this to my parents?

What would they think? Would they be okay with this? Would they have still loved me even after I'd chosen this route in life? To be here. To be Queen. To not be human. After all the bad things that I've done up until this point. All the things I did to get to this very point. Would they still be fine with their only daughter turning in to one of the very monsters they read to her in books?

Crazy.

Mad.

She's going mad.

It's only a matter of time.

No way to stop it.

It's happening again.

What's wrong with her?

The voices swarm my thoughts and fill them like a pool full of fat and hungry sharks. It's only a matter of time before they learn that they have the ability to breathe outside of the water.

The faceless voices claw at the silence around me and agitate the darkness. The shadows move in closer, faster, angrier. Ready to swallow me into the dark abyss and toss away the rest of my sanity, my control, my humanity. Ready to consume me in total darkness.