I'm Arranged To Oh Sehun || EXO

Seventeen

Sae

Last night was a blur. I couldn't remember anything, it even felt like I was the drunk one. I just found myself completely knocked out on the bed with no sign of Sehun everywhere.

I would be worried, which I really was but of course, I wouldn't admit that. The thoughts of Sehun completely vanished when I thought of all the things I could do without him.

I could have breakfast, all of it. I'd have the T.V all to myself. I couldn't care less where he was, well, a little.

I took a really long shower then made myself breakfast, which was pancakes that was horribly cooked by the way then settled myself on the couch in the living room, propping my feet on the table in front and gleefully grabbed the remote.

It was like the world was against me somehow when EXO's repeated episode of their comeback came on and I internally groaned but still couldn't deny the fact at how my eyes were lingering on Sehun.

Before switching the channel, I focused my eyes on Sehun who swiped his hair back and made eye contact with the camera.

Lol, not today Oh Sehun.

I switched to some lowkey drama that I would pick any day than watching EXO that painfully reminded me of the open wound of our scandal.

I didn't pry on the news and the fans on how they took it. I was exactly sure they didn't took it lightly though. I was also sure it affected EXO and I was absolutely scared it would ruin their comeback which was weeks from now.

It wasn't five minutes of me enjoying my time when I heard the door unlock along with the jingling of keys. I mentally sighed then dropped my head on the cushions.

He had to come back.

I was expecting the usual silence that we had been occupying ourselves when his voice suddenly boomed.

"Lee Saeyeon," I heard him shout.

I decided to ignore him and sat up quickly, eating the warm pancakes. He must've noticed my obvious silence when he made his way to me.

"Hey," he called as he flopped down next to me,"What's wrong?"

I rolled my eyes. Everything was wrong since from the start. He didn't even bother asking himself that when all of it went really wrong, it was his fault.

I fed myself and I gasped when he took the fork from me and threw it across the room.

Well.

I glared at him.

"What the hell, Sehun?"

"Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you," He answered.

"Funny because we've been ignoring each other for 2 weeks," I said sarcastically.

He clicked his tongue,"Sass me all you want, I did it for the best of us."

"How did us ignoring each other made everything better?"

"It won't," He said quickly,"but I think we needed that for each other. To think about it."

"And how did that go for you?" I barked.

He hummed, which mocked me.

"I've thought of a lot of things and all I could think of was you."

I would've blushed but then, I remembered I was supposed to be angry at him.

"And all I could think of was you—"

He smiled.

"—being an asshole."

He narrowed his eyes then took the plate of my lap, placing it on the table and pushing my feet away, making me sit up steadily, facing him. He turned off the T.V then faced me completely.

"Do you know what I like about you?"

I squinted my eyes at him.

"What now, Sehun? You know we should be fixing the scandal, not—"

"I like how when you smile because it reminded me how there are better days when I'm with you."

I snickered.

But how can you not be unfazed when the guy you were incredulously in love with stared at you with so much intensity and said those words that you had always dreamed of?

He tilted his head,"Do you know at night, I couldn't sleep?"

I kept silent, waiting for him to continue.

He flashed me a small smile,"You're always in my late night thoughts, fucking with my feelings."

I sighed,"Sehun, what are you saying? Are you somehow drunk?"

"Yes," He grinned,"for you and you don't how knocked up I am when I'm with you."

What.

I stood because I honestly couldn't handle it. I passed him and his eyes followed me still.

"Where are you going?" He called out to me.

"Upstairs."

I was expecting him to follow but he didn't. I shrugged him off and proceeded to our bedroom.

I laid down on the bed and sighed.

Where exactly am I going with Sehun?

I couldn't completely comprehend how to fix us and everything. I kept thinking I was all alone. I couldn't bother my best friend, I practically disowned my mother, I had to distance myself from the other members to avoid more rumors and Sehun was practically a pain in the ass.

Then the ringing of my phone echoed throughout the room. I rolled over and found it on the bedside table. The caller was very much irritating me when I answered with blatant annoyance.

"What?" I growled.

Sehun chuckled then I heard water splashing and plates clanking. He was washing the dishes and I waited for him to answer back. I didn't even know why I didn't hang up.

Maybe I was still hoping for him to fill up my heart will all the words he said earlier.

"Since you were nervous being so close to me earlier while I said those things, might as well say it through the phone"

That made me smile like an idiot. I wondered how he did that. With just his mere words, he makes all of me go crazy and I found myself smiling like an idiot.

"I find this really weird Sehun," I fessed up,"Why are you saying these things all of a sudden?"

"I want you to feel loved like what you are deserved to be feeling. Sae, I want you to listen to me. Don't say anything and let me tell you all the things I should've said a long time ago."

I kept silent.

"I never had a plan to fall in love with you and I bet you didn't too. We knew we wouldn't work out but that didn't stop us. We tried and it was the most amazing adventure. Learning how to love you.

Every time I look at you, I see the rest of my life in your eyes and I want you to know that. I hope my silence wasn't making you feel like I don't love you when I do, every single day.

I want you everyday. Even when you're mad at me, even when you piss me off, even when we disagree, I still want you.

You are my favorite notification.

My favorite wake up call.

My favorite lullaby.

And I know I'm unsure of all the decisions in my life, but I am certain I made the right choice when I signed those married papers.

Even if I did it halfheartedly, I can assure you I will love you fully." 

-
this is obviously ending lol it's going dipshit deep.
I love you all so much. Thank you for reading this awful book.